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... Send *anniepeg a private message | | | *anniepeg's profile:I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.
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Why do I always go for the older man?
Q. I feel troubled. I can't seem to get attracted to men my own age or near it. I actually feel repulsed sometimes when they try and flirt with me. I try and feel something, anything but no go. I'd never go for someone twice my age or anything, but for ...
A. 16 August 2010: That's because older men has experience, he has failed in relationships and he knows what works now. They are also better at expressing themselves. A younger guy doesn't have the same confidence and the answers you need. Girls also mature faster ... (read in full...)
How can I avoid mother-in-law conflicts?
Q. My boyfriend wants to marry me and and wants us to live with his parents, all together. His parents like me, but I have a prejudge concerning the "mother-in-law/son's wife" wars, I'm afraid she might start to hate me. I have concrete examples in my ...
A. 16 August 2010: You would be surprised to find out many married couples don't know how to cook. I have stayed with a family and I ate some brick like steak and thought "how could you eat that?". I looked around and everybody was fine and didn't complain. As long as ... (read in full...)
After 4 and a half years... do I stay or do I go?
Q. I've been with my bf for 4 1/2 years. He is my fist and only serious bf and ever since i fell in love with him i had my future planned out. He loves me so much and is very good to me and talks about getting married all the time. I have been sure ...
A. 16 August 2010: Conflicts within the family is very common. Two of my grand aunts stopped talking to each other 25 years ago because one of them argued with the other's husband and got kicked out of the party in winter. Last year my brother had a wedding. They ... (read in full...)
Realised my bf has lost interest in me after our holiday together
Q. [OP original title] I've just returned from my second holiday with my bf of 4 yrs. this might not seem as important to u guys but it kinda started bothering me that we weren't having sex all the time. The thing is, at home before we went, he woul...
A. 15 August 2010: Ask him what happend to make him lose interest in you, what bothers him, has he met someone else, is he depressed, etc. You know it's not about how you look or what lingerie you own. There seems to be a disconnect between you two. You felt ... (read in full...)
My wife is very abusive towards me - please help.
Q. [OP original title] Someone please give me some advice... I have been living in an abusive relationship for nearly 15 months. I am not sure where to start because so much has happened during this time. But at the same time I am not sure how to s...
A. 15 August 2010: Someday people are going to know about your wife's abuse. It doesn't go away on its own. It only gets worse. I don't think going to the therapist makes you weak. It makes you strong to want to improve on a situation. Find a support group for ... (read in full...)
I feel he's not attracted to me and he says as much when he is drunk!
Q. My man is 59 and ime 27. He cant get a proper erection and says its because of the drink. Ive had a c section and feel hes not attracted to me. When hes drunk his attitude changes and he once sayd 'your not that good looking and thats why I dont ...
A. 15 August 2010: I assume this man is your husband or the baby's daddy. He's not a good influence on your baby. No man should be drunk when there's a baby to take care of. If a young woman like you can't attract him who else could? He's blaming his sexual problems ... (read in full...)
She's on her 3rd boyfriend but I want her!
Q. I go around saying that the only thing worse than failure is regret. Now I regret messing up. I did't realize how much I liked this girl, now she is on her 3rd boyfriend and its killing me. I have to do something to get this under control. I ...
A. 14 August 2010: In a dream you are acting out the desire to steal a guy's girlfriend. You are feeling the hang overs of a dream. Some intense dreams can be overwhelming, lasting a few hours. So the dream caused you to post this question. What about before the dream ... (read in full...)
My ex asked me if I was dating a girl, so I told her the truth... Was this wrong?
Q. My ex girlfriend has asked me if I'm dating somebody. I broke up with her almost two months ago after an eight month relationship. I was her first love. Just recently I started seeing a girl (lets call her Sarah). I've only been out with Sarah t...
A. 14 August 2010: In that case, if you keep in contact with her you might be able to get your love back after you both graduate. Love relationships can be unpredictable for young lovers. I can understand why people want to play the field. It's to avoid the pain of ... (read in full...)
My own happiness or Everyone else's?
Q. I met my husband about 2 years ago. There's no spark, no romance, and no heart pounding...but there is attraction. Very soon we started "dating", he moved in to my place and we lived like married couple, cooking together everyday and go to bed ...
A. 13 August 2010: I think he's unhappy because the wedding is a show for your parents, and not really his decision. He's stressed that he would feel obligated to go to family functions which might bore him. But that doesn't mean you can't be happy on your own. Look ... (read in full...)
My ex asked me if I was dating a girl, so I told her the truth... Was this wrong?
Q. My ex girlfriend has asked me if I'm dating somebody. I broke up with her almost two months ago after an eight month relationship. I was her first love. Just recently I started seeing a girl (lets call her Sarah). I've only been out with Sarah t...
A. 13 August 2010: You should tell her the truth. When you hinted you weren't seeing each other in that sense, she may take that as a possibility that you and her still had a chance. It's better to upset her now than later. If she wasn't clear why you broke up with ... (read in full...)
Did I handle the situation right, and should I text him?
Q. Hey there, So I have this on again/off again relationship/friendship with this guy. Last week I heard from him every day, and then nothing for 4 days. This week I heard from him by text. Yesterday he texed "If you want to go for tea somet...
A. 12 August 2010: Don't express your frustration. Just suggest a good place for coffee and highlight the coolness of that cafe. Hope that would interest him. All you have to do is express interest and nothing else. If I were a guy I would never schedule dates before ... (read in full...)
My son listens to us have sex! Now I'm labeled a bad person.
Q. My son who is 13 is always hanging around my bedroom door when my friend and I are intimate. We close and lock the door for privacy but he stands there and listens. He then went and told my mom what he heard and now I am labeled as a bad person. He ...
A. 11 August 2010: I believe you need your privacy. If it's past bed time for your son then you are entitled to have some alone time. It's hard to find someone who wants to babysit a 13 year old. Consider what a 13 year old boy would feel if you send him to a ... (read in full...)
I introduced a woman into our marriage and now my husband is in love with her!
Q. I'v been married to my husband for 15 yrs. Of those 15yrs we have had very few arguments. I thought that we had a good and happy marriage. Our sex has always been strong until a few yrs ago it started to get stale. I had befriended a woman 10 yrs ...
A. 10 August 2010: Tell him to choose you or her. It takes two to go wrong in a relationship. He can't justify an affair blaming on your bitchiness. I have heard of using a threesome to spice it up, but I have never heard of women telling their husbands, "imagine you ... (read in full...)
His ex-girlfriend is still in the picture
Q. Please forgive me if I seem to be rude I am just going to ask my question and might get a little into it. So please forgive me before hand. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. We had are on and off times. Our off times whe...
A. 9 August 2010: You fell into the trap of getting all upset, the way his ex wants you to be. She wants to break you up. You are obviously still very hurt by his affair and his ex saw your weakness and attacked it. She was daring because she knew that you would ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that he'll find someone who "needs" him more
Q. I've been dating this great guy now for nearly 7 months. I'm in love with him and I know he definitely is in love with me. We spend all our time together, but also see friends every now and again. A year ago he was in an 8 year relationship wit...
A. 8 August 2010: Maybe he felt shut out when his ex got everything she wanted: kids and career, and stopped appreciating him. I think having a child really changes how the man fit in her life. An independent woman still needs a man to feel complete. You don't have ... (read in full...)
Help! Do we have a future together?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have split up again, I don't know why we do it, you would not put us together but we get on so well have some sort of connection. It is love between us, we have been seeing each other sixteen months and split twice for 2 months ...
A. 8 August 2010: The problem is you don't know why you broke up and you did, and will break up again. You'll always come back together to resolve unfinished business. If you don't tell her your exact reasons she is going to think the obvious: he's scared to commit, ... (read in full...)
I need to sow my wild oats
Q. i am in a relationship with a man who already sewed his wild oats while he was younger. i havent done any of that, but i was in a couple of troubled relationship before where the sex was not so great. my bf could not be a better man and very proper ...
A. 8 August 2010: I don't know how you got the impression that sex lost its excitement and importance because he had sowed his wild oats. The logic wouldn't work on your side. If you had sowed your wild oats today does that mean if you come back to him the sex would ... (read in full...)
I am repulsed by my feelings for my teacher
Q. what would you do if you were in my situation? After a few years of non-stop studying, I am terrify to find out I possess some sort of feeling toward a teacher in my school.(and yes, I am a highschool student with hormones running strong) I didn'...
A. 7 August 2010: I was once that student. How do you know thousand other students don't feel as strong as you do? To be honest I did nothing about my feelings. I sent my teacher birthday cards, Christmas cards, that's it. Sooner or later I got into relationships. ... (read in full...)
Every time he goes out he lies about it!
Q. My b/f and I have been dating for almost a year now. We live together and have been for the past 8 months. Aside from our differences and quarrals things are great! Of course we need time apart; and I've told him he can go out, but every single time ...
A. 7 August 2010: I can never understand a person wanting to go out so much while having domestic responsibilities. Not telling you about his plans is about breaking free. He's still like a child separating from his mother. He has to look at you as an equal, that you ... (read in full...)
Shall I give my cheating husband another chance?????
Q. MOD NOTE...The title you chose has been used in a previous question, so i've tweaked it a bit. While I was back home on vacation by myself, my husband went out, got drunk and went to a hotel with a prostitute. He kept this from me for 5 whole we...
A. 6 August 2010: It sounds like he has separation anxiety so he would drink himself to oblivion. Ask him why these 2 years he's been having excuses not having sex. You can't trust that he will become a different person. He needs to be a different person now. What ... (read in full...)
Do u think my best guy friend might be falling for me???
Q. OP's own title. Do u think my best guy friend might be falling for me??? I've been in love with him for a while now and I want him to be mine forever. We have a odd relationship, like I can tell him anything. Things i have never shared with anyo...
A. 6 August 2010: Ask him if he's sexually attracted to women, or to you specifically. I think that would tell you if you want to be in this relationship or not. He's still very young to decide if he wants a woman for life and ignore his other part of himself.... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so alone when his daughter comes to visit?
Q. I'm 25 with a 3-year-old son and my boyfriend of almost a year is 30 with a 4-year-old daughter. Chemistry between the two of us was great right from the beginning; as well as chemistry between both of our children. They play like they are brother ...
A. 2 August 2010: No. this is so wrong. His daughter should sleep on her own bed. It's common sense you shouldn't even have to have a pretalk about who sleeps with who. The first night he says to you he would sleep with his daughter, is the night you pack up and go. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is uncomfortable with me modelling clothes for my ebay shop, now I am confused what to do.....
Q. Hello, I found this site and thought it might be a good place to ask for advice. I had an issue come up recently with my boyfriend of 5 years. We are very close and respectful of each other and try our best to communicate and sort out issues....
A. 2 August 2010: There is nothing wrong with the way you or him is thinking. You don't have to feel bad if your relationship dosn't work out because of this. There are guys who accept this. If you are really afraid of losing him, there are ways around it. You are ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to have fun around the man I love!
Q. Hello everyone, I’m in the situation that I don’t know how to have fun to the man I like or I love. I never had someone that I can get along since before I’m shy and I don’t have confidence. I’m 25 years old now but I still confuse my feelings...
A. 2 August 2010: You don't get married to a chat mate. That's just not right. I have the most boring life. I don't drink, smoke, go to parties. I don't play sports and watch sports. I have a 4 year old son. Yet there is so much to talk about the world, your job, and ... (read in full...)
I feel unloved and useless ever since we have moved in together
Q. I have recently moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years, we have always argued due to my insecurites, his ex, work mates and the amount of time he spends with his family rather than with me but since we have moved in i feel that i have become more ...
A. 2 August 2010: The problem is not really his spending time with others. It's when you are alone together you can't have fun. You haven't thought about if moving in was a good idea. It's more than just love, it's whether two people can stand each other. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is my fetish normal?
Q. I'm an 18 year old boy and I have a fetish. I love dressing up in girls underwear and making my partner (female) dress up in mine. We then switch roles in the bedroom. My gf thinks ita hot but she is bi and wants to invite another bi girl ...
A. 2 August 2010: It's normal and I think your girlfriend would accept it. It has nothing to do with your sexual preference. Can you accept sharing a woman with her though? There is a desire in everyone of us to merge with the opposite sex. In the entertainment ... (read in full...)
Can a player really change?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and a half. Previous to me, he had 3 'semi-serious' relationships which each lasted no more than a year. Whilst he was each girl, he text/emailed and flirted with every girl that passed his eye. Whilst ...
A. 2 August 2010: Many guys don't believe in therapy, they go only when their girlfriends tell them to. They feel like their masculinity is threatened when they talk about feelings. A lot of people are able to talk their way out to convince the therapist they ... (read in full...)
I keep a fall back guy because I don't know what the guy I'm dating really wants from me
Q. My guy ("Connor") never asked me to be his girlfriend so I thought it was ok for me to see other people if I wanted. So I kept seeing him and four other men (though I never slept with any of them). They all knew I was a virgin and accepted it. But ...
A. 1 August 2010: How long have you been dating and how long are you willing to wait? Connor is the guy you like. Sounds like this is still too new to talk about meeting family and friends. Be done with Connor first, then think about other people. You don't know ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's job is ruining our sex life
Q. A couple of days ago I posted this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-doesnt-know-how-much-our-sex-life.html After reading it through, reading the answers, and talking to my boyfriend, I have come to the conclusion that his job i...
A. 1 August 2010: It's not something to put up with because it's not a flaw that can't be corrected. You should say you are adjusting to this and awaiting for a more suitable live work sleep routine in the future. He's not going to live at your place forever. If you ... (read in full...)
The ex... can't get over her...
Q. My ex contacted me last week looking to see me again, then called me a few times afterwards, thats tues past and ive texed her a couple of times and she hasnt replied and i havent heard from her again. She told me about 2 weeks ago never to contact ...
A. 1 August 2010: Just focus on the things that bother you about her and why things won't work out anyway if you stick with her. You will be happy again. Life always gives you more options. For the time being the hardest thing to do is to keep telling yourself you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's job is ruining our sex life
Q. A couple of days ago I posted this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-doesnt-know-how-much-our-sex-life.html After reading it through, reading the answers, and talking to my boyfriend, I have come to the conclusion that his job i...
A. 1 August 2010: It's hard to enjoy sex when he's depending on the kindness of your parents to let him sleep there. His job is not ruining your sex life, his convenience of getting enough sleep and getting to work quicker is. Depends on where he works. Hopefull... (read in full...)
If it's true love, will it happen on it's own?
Q. I recently just moved away from my old town and have trouble deciding what I want to do with my life. I live in NYC and would love to have a successful career in the media. However, something is holding me back. I am in love with a man back home, ...
A. 29 July 2010: You can make the best out of your life but the higher power has to agree with what comes in your path. If it's a forbidden love then no matter what you do it won't come to the surface. What's holding you back might be the fear of the unknown and ... (read in full...)
He hasn't replied in three days, should I message him again?
Q. Hi, What do you think i should do next? I saw a totally gorgeous tanned, blonde guy on my friend's facebook! I really lack confidence to make first moves and although people tell me i'm pretty and fun and i should go for it, i feel so fool...
A. 29 July 2010: First off, my opinion is that facebook is not an ideal place to find a boyfriend. You can end up texting each other for months and nothing happens. I believe in the more direct approach of calling, then meeting up the next day. I think you already ... (read in full...)
Sex during the menstrual cycle, How is it?
Q. Okay... may sound akward or digusting. But I know us females feel the most horniest while we're on our period. I'm not saying I would or wouldn't do this, but I'd like to get more info on this. How is it having sex on your period? Is it ...
A. 29 July 2010: Some guys like it most don't. There's something called the moon ritual in which a guy drinks the blood off of you. Around period it's tighter because you are swollen. It can be very messy. You can do it in the bathroom. If blood gets on the sheets ... (read in full...)
Sexual problems In third year marriage
Q. MODS NOTE: OP's own title: I have been married for three years now I have two daughters, one is 20 months and the second one is only four months. Our first year married was awesome, we went out, we had fun, we made love often, even more than twic...
A. 29 July 2010: This is to be expected. It's very tiring to care for a toddler while breastfeeding an infant. Things would become better once your kids are 7 and older and have more independence.
You can become a vegetarian while your wife can eat more seaf... (read in full...)
Do I need to worry about my boyfriends girl-mate?
Q. Hi, I've been with my bf 5 months now and I know that isnt too long but I really feel strongly about him and things have been pretty perfect until very recently. He was staying over with me the other night when his friend called him up at 450am so...
A. 27 July 2010: It's possible he's not his boyfriend because he's not sexually attracted to her, but still cares for her. You have the right to be concerned about this but it's not necessary to do so in an accusatory manner. He has to reassure you that there is no ... (read in full...)
I can't sit and watch him kiss drunk girls while I'm working hard to change!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been on hiatus for about 2 weeks. I have posted my problem here before, and I do admit that my insecurities did end our relationship. The past week has been good. We are talking as friends and he keeps emphasizing that ...
A. 26 July 2010: The most important thing is that you know you are feeling better and more confident of yourself. Whether this relationship would work out in the end is secondary. Even as a friend he's insensitive. What's the use of telling you a drunken girl kissed ... (read in full...)
He's brought up having a threesome with a woman. Only he's already had a threesome with her and his exwife!
Q. So i just moved in with my boyfriend of over a year, and we have a fantastic sexual chemistry. We have talked about having a threesome. Over the weekend he was approached by a friend of his, she asked about having a threesome with us. So he told me ...
A. 26 July 2010: Just say no to the threesome, or you will become his next ex. You mean after a year you are just realizing what you are signing up for? "We have talked about a threesome." Most likely he did and you went along just to show how adventurous you are. ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about being clumsy in sex, having had only one partner before her.
Q. I'm starting to date a girl who I have been friends with for a while. I seem to click with her well and we have no problem talking to each and have good fun together. However I'm nearly 26, I have only slept with one girl when I was 20 and sex tbh ...
A. 26 July 2010: Rather than calling yourself a clumsy lover, how about a sensual lover? Imagine you are an experienced lover pretending to do everything as the first time. Pretend that her 7 guys didn't know what they were doing. Take everything slow. Have a lot ... (read in full...)
How should I approach this man?
Q. there is this man that works in a shop i go in. whenever i go in he says hello and smiles at me and comes over to me. my friend says it is obvious he likes me. i dont really know him and we havent talked much. but one time we did, he talked a lot ...
A. 26 July 2010: It's his job to be friendly to customers. He walks to you in case you need help with a product. I don't think asking guys out is strange. He can think whatever he wants. He is still going to look at customers and approach them every day. Ask if he ... (read in full...)
What does "I love you but I don't want you back" mean???
Q. I spoke with my ex and she has told me two things as she spoke in riddles and I want to know what does she mean by. "I love you but I don't want you back"? and "I love speaking with you as youve done alot for me but I don't want to see y...
A. 26 July 2010: Love doesn't just go away after you break up. Love is not enough to make a person stay. You may not be compatible, or the chemistry isn't there anymore, or whatever it is it can't work out. At least it's a peaceful breakup. ... (read in full...)
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