A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey there, So I have this on again/off again relationship/friendship with this guy. Last week I heard from him every day, and then nothing for 4 days. This week I heard from him by text. Yesterday he texed "If you want to go for tea sometime call me".Now the issue is that he is always making "maybe" plans with me, as in "maybe we can do this and that sometime". However, we never end up making solid plans, and whatever is suggested never happens. I have asked him to do things, and he never makes definite plans in these instances either. So, I simply responded to his text with a text of my own saying "tea sounds like fun. Let me know when you are free and we can synch up our busy schedules". I have heard nothing since. He leaves for vacation tomorrow, and my natural inclination is to text him to say "have a good trip" tomorrow morning, but I don't want to feel like I am always reaching out to him, plus he never responded in anyway to my suggestion to let me know when he is free. As simple "will do" as some sort of acknowledgment would have been nice.So, did I handle the situation right, and given the circumstances should I text him tomorrow or just wait and see if he texts while he is away (he has done so in the past), or when he gets back? Thanks!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): I feel like he is just not that into you. Not to be mean but it sounds like maybe you're the second choice. Or maybe he is coming out of a relationship and not quite sure or ready to start a new one. To me it doesn't take much and is simply courtious to reply to a text and you said that he didn't. You are in your 30's and I am sure are not up for mind games. Do you really know his situation reagrding relationships? I feel like if he really wanted something with you he would call to say goodbye or text prior to going on vacation. He either sounds selfish or not that into you. Both are not great signs for a potential partner. I know it's tough and the thinking what to do..or what not to do is horrible. Save your energy......and if he comes back ready for what you want then be staight forward.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (12 August 2010):
 Don't express your frustration. Just suggest a good place for coffee and highlight the coolness of that cafe. Hope that would interest him. All you have to do is express interest and nothing else. If I were a guy I would never schedule dates before a vacation. Pick your guy based on his availability to you. Just like hiring new workers for a job you give priority to people who are free all the time. You should put this guy at the bottom of your priority list.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI actually did address the situation with him. He has been doing the hot and cold thing a lot and I told him that it was a bit frustrating when he keeps saying maybe we should do something or that we should get together sometime, but that we never end up making plans.
He said he was sorry and that we would talk about it next time we got together. That was 3 weeks ago. I know that he has been working hard so that he can get all his work done before his vacation. I have been busy too, so just let it go and decided if/when I saw him we would discuss it.
I just don't know if he is playing a game here as 2 days after I emailed him about making firm plans he texted me about something, only I was never around to be able to see it. I just didn't bother to respond.
Now he is texting me 2 days before he leaves for a week, again with no firm plans....
I just don't want to seem pushy or desperate. Nor do I want him to think it is ok to play these games.
...............................
|
