A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:what would you do if you were in my situation?After a few years of non-stop studying, I am terrify to find out I possess some sort of feeling toward a teacher in my school.(and yes, I am a highschool student with hormones running strong)I didn't know when I suddenly starts to enjoy the feeling I get when I saw his face. In my most depresssing moment of school, he is my personal (and very private) "stress-release" miracle. I never did give much thought into why he made me feel so relax, I use to think that he is like a father figure to me since I never has one.That's all change now.At this very moment, I feels repolsive at my thoughts of him. How could I think of such selfish and foolish thing? He would get in so much trouble if anyone find out about my emotion. His future, his carrier, his life and both of our dignity will going to the drain the moment I do something unpredictable( which I scare that I will). You might think that I am evereacting with this, like thousand other students who also have a "crush" (I hate that word) on their teachers. But I am torment by this 'thing' I create and I am too scare to go deep into it-the result that I might find will be unpleasant. What if my feeling is much deeper than I expect? Please help me. I am desperate. Any advice that you could give me would a blessing for me. I don't know what I should do.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Oh no babes, please do not be angry with yourself for the way you feel. There is nothing wrong with liking or loving someone. If someone makes you feel happy, there is nothing wrong with that. You have done nothing wrong, you feel how you feel.
The only problem is actions.. you can feel any emotion, but you must be careful with the way you act. Your not bothering this teacher, your not chasing him, your not writing him letters, your not embarrassing him.... your doing nothing wrong.
He would hate to know you feel so bad about yourself. Teachers do like their students, and they want them to be happy. But teachers are just normal humans doing a job, a job that forbids them from having relationships with the students in their care.
It's never wrong to love someone. You like your teacher, this is good. It's preparing you for adult life and showing you the qualities and characteristics you should look for in a man who you want to get close to. Teachers are mostly kind, patient, funny and responsible, those are the qualities you must look for in a guy who asks you to be his girlfriend..
These feelings will pass soon. Work hard, make your teacher proud. Enjoy having him as your "stress-release", don't worry you won't feel like this for ever, soon you'll leave school or meet a guy who is available for you...
Don't worry, you have done nothing wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advices, I know I need it. I'll try my best to take my mind off it for a while and see if thing change or not. But at the moment, it seems best for me to study even harder than before. I hate to admit it, but studying does come useful at time. I could use it as a distraction and hopefully the result of my "distraction" will make my teacher proud. Thank you again for all your help.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 I was once that student. How do you know thousand other students don't feel as strong as you do? To be honest I did nothing about my feelings. I sent my teacher birthday cards, Christmas cards, that's it. Sooner or later I got into relationships. The only unpleasant thing is knowing that this love can be one sided. He can only provide the caring, nurturing side of him to you. Anything else other than that is off limits and illegal. Since you say he's like a father figure, he must be much older than you. There is nothing repulsive about falling in love with an older man. Relationships with the opposite sex open up unresolved issues with our parents. We never stop to discover our moms and dads in our partners even though on the surface we treat them as equals. We also see that we identify ourselves with at least one of our parents. If you did do something to him which I don't recommend, and he responded with passion, then he has only himself to blame. It seems to me you need to do something about your feelings and what other ways to do it besides unloading them on your innocent teacher? When I was in love with my teacher I was taking piano lessons. So I poured my love onto the piano. Do something creative with your life and don't be so hard on yourself whether he wants you or not. Write poems and imagine yourself reading them when you are 30. Before you know it some guy would be asking you out. Then you would see if you can let go of a fantasy in search for a real relationship.
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A
male
reader, Celby  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 It's a crush. It make you happy and brings some joy and excitement into your life. Thats it. Dont act on it, dont tell anyone. It's normal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): The best thing to do about is fake it until you feel it.
What do I mean? Fake a "crush" on him until you feel that it is just a teenage crush.
It will eventually pass. Also try and show yourself the negatives about him.
Other than that don't spend too much time thinking about him and whatever you do, DO NOT act on your feelings for your teacher.
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