A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:MODS NOTE: OP's own title:I have been married for three years now I have two daughters, one is 20 months and the second one is only four months. Our first year married was awesome, we went out, we had fun, we made love often, even more than twice a day, our loving was plenty with sessions lasting hours. Since we had our first baby however our love making got cut to twice or thrice a week, with our sessions lasting fifteen to thirty minutes. I thought this was normal as she was going through pregnancy. After our first baby was born our love making got even worse to one or two sessions per week with them lasting only 15mins to 20mins. Since then she wanted another child so we had our second baby, our love making rate continued pretty stable until our second daughters birth. Our love making is gone, we have no chemestry no spontaneouity, we have to plan everything and even then it's dull. I feel as though she takes it as a chore instead of wanting to be with me. We are making love no more than once every week. This would be normal if we both were in our late thirties or maybe early fourties, but I'm 23 and she is 25.I am very tired of talking to her and trying to let her know how important that is for me, she just complains that I have a very high sex drive that she can't match but that she will try to make love more often, and I can't masturbate either because she only gets upset about it. Although she promises this it's only getting worse, and it doesn't help that I now work a 60hour a week office job and am now overweight. My self esteem is completely gone although several girls have hit on me.I really don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my chain, I constantly have pain In my lower abdomen and feel very testosterone filled, I explode, I get angry, I have mood swings.I feel like this is my fault, but I am to the point that I can't to anything to appeal to her.I know I have a very high sex drive as I have no recovery time between orgasms and I can go for as long as I want to. I just want to be fair with her and with me, if anyone knows some kind of product to lower male libido, please help. Thank you.
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male
reader, model101_t800 +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Hey there. This seems like a common complaint among men. I fully understand you and sympathize with you.
Generally women's libido goes downhill after bearing children. So, can't help it there.
Firstly, try not to set expectations with your wife about fulfilling your desire. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. But I have done this and now I am a happy man. People get disappointed if they have expectations from a loved one and the loved one does not hold up to it. So, thats one mental exercise to perform.
On the physical side, you may want to masturbate and pamper yourself. Perhaps go to a spa, get a massage, come home, take a hot tub bath yourself and maybe use some men's toys to get yourself fulfilled. In this way you are in control of your pleasure.
I would not advise anyone to get his needs fulfilled outside but it is upto the person's individual choice.
Having a busy social life and happy mood decreases the desire for sex. However, if the desire keeps building it can depress your mood. Cray cycle. Some anti-depressents reduce libido in men. You can try taking 5-HTP to elevate your mood, which in turn will lower your libido. I am taking it and starting to see some results. You may want to do some research yourself on it before you consume it.
I do pray that your intimate life comes around and you and your wife do get to enjoy with each other like before. Until then hold the fort yourself.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 This is to be expected. It's very tiring to care for a toddler while breastfeeding an infant. Things would become better once your kids are 7 and older and have more independence.
You can become a vegetarian while your wife can eat more seafood. That kind of balances things out. Masturbation releases buildup but the desire to be inside a woman's body is still there. She can take a nap with the kids so she has more energy at night. You can also hire a helper to do some housework if you can afford one.
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