A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have split up again, I don't know why we do it, you would not put us together but we get on so well have some sort of connection. It is love between us, we have been seeing each other sixteen months and split twice for 2 months each time, but when we say we split I delete her number but after a few week she just texts to get back in my head and then a month later she texts again and we meet up and sort things. Both times we have had other relationships but they not working and we always end up back together. I would just like to know if we in future will be getting back together or should I just move on and think about my future?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): i have been in this situation except different circumstances. thing is that the same events would take place. if you was meant to be together there would be no one else between your relationship. it could be that she could think nothing matters because you`ll take her back anyway. if you was meant then you would be cryin out for that person and wouldnt be able to stomach the thought of being with someone else. delete her number and change yours.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 I was going to answer this one way, but I read your question again and something came to me out of nowhere.
Let's say the woman of your dreams is out there. Let's say if I told you that two years from now, you'll meet someone that literally makes your knees shake just thinking about her. The mere thought of her sends your heart racing, and just being together makes you happier than you thought possible.
But let's say that you're too busy fixated on this girl you broke up with again to see it, and you miss out. My point is, sometimes we get fixated on the wrong person for whatever reason, and they take more from you than they give to you, but because of ego, or emotions, or just wishing for the past, or comfort/familiarity's sake, we can't move past them. We're miserable when we're not with them, and anyone else we're with doesn't seem to measure up. But when we are with them, we're still miserable and end up breaking up with them only to repeat the cycle.
What you need is time away from everyone to reflect on who YOU are and what you want from your life, and not just in relationships. You need to reflect on what's gotten you to this point and where you're headed and want to head. There's nothing like an unhealthy relationship that can waste years from your life, not to mention derail your dreams and take away your hope. Don't ever let your happiness hinge on whether or not you're with someone.
As for this woman, you're spinning your heels. This is a good time to make a new start in your life. Who knows what will happen in two years!
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A
female
reader, Lobeau +, writes (8 August 2010):
You should move on and think about your future.If you've tried to make it work a few times and it still hasn't then i don't think your right for eachother.It's time that you move on and try to find a person who can be in your future and make you happy and have a better connection with you.
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A
female
reader, lexiiaye +, writes (8 August 2010):
it might be best if you both try and see other people for a while i know it will be hard but you have to think of your feelings everytime u break up it will be hurting and it may seem like the best thing to get back together but in the end it could be doing more harm than good. try sit her down and talk to her about it and see what she thinks you might both be wanting the same thing instead of getting hurt. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, xXJDXx +, writes (8 August 2010):
Why do you keep splitting ask yourself that... At the end of the day every relationship has ups and downs but if she leaves you, you move on then drop everything to get back with her she knows all she has to do is play with your head to get what she wants... I don't think that is love, I think that's a convinence for her when things are not going the way she wants them to. You shouldn't let youself get used like that, it's not fair or right. Hold your head high and proud and tell her straight next time that YOUR WORTH MORE than that and find yourself a decent girl when the tine is right. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 The problem is you don't know why you broke up and you did, and will break up again. You'll always come back together to resolve unfinished business. If you don't tell her your exact reasons she is going to think the obvious: he's scared to commit, he needs to sow wild oats, you fell out of love, you are looking for the perfect elusive woman, etc. And you go back to her because you don't like to admit these reasons, it makes you feel too ordinary, just like the others. It depends on who initiates the breakup, but I kind of sense you did. If you get back together it would be stronger, deeper than before, and it would be even harder to break up the next time because your bond would be stronger. The relationship can only go one direction. There is no going back to the sweet innocent dating stage. You would realize all relationships would come to this. You would always find things that bother you about other girls. You would look over them and then think long term. You haven't mentioned anything here which is a deal breaker. The only thing that is preventing a future is you. Go surrender yourself to a woman mentally, and spiritually.
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