A
male
age
36-40,
*ossacelt
writes:My ex contacted me last week looking to see me again, then called me a few times afterwards, thats tues past and ive texed her a couple of times and she hasnt replied and i havent heard from her again. She told me about 2 weeks ago never to contact her again, and i did this, the girl totally messed me about but she was a stunner and my friends keep on bringing how good looking she was up which i hate. She totally messed with my head told me she loved me, told me she was pregnant (then had a misscarriage i will never know if this is true but it was very outta the blue), she also lied to me all the time. Anyhow my head is going because she didnt reply back to these texts, they where simple things like how are you? She has a new guy and she tells me that she dosent like him, i miss her like mad but i know she is not good for me, i just want to be happy again, any advice please?
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male
reader, rossacelt +, writes (1 August 2010):
rossacelt is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys thanks for your answers,they have been relly helpfull and i think im going to nail this coffin shut.One point can i say to Emily i don't want to sound cheeky but did you read the question,im creepy?Stalker?That is mad!!Im the one that keeps on moving on and she keeps on contacting me,one week she hates me the next she calls me again.I was always very good to her and to be honest i think i loved her and she just messed me about.Im no stalker or am not creepy and i really do not see where you have got this idea from,i know it takes two to tango but im a big softy and keep on letting her back in,but thats it NO MORE.
A
male
reader, GFOK  +, writes (1 August 2010):
Just one point I wanted to make: Your friends are being really unhelpful by focusing on your ex's looks. Of course she's good looking - you were attracted to her, weren't you? Tell your friends to drop the subject. If they are purposely trying to mess with you, find some less cruel people to hang with. Better yet, try to go away for a while. Visit a family member far away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): The best thing to do is make closure. You stop contacting her, if she contacts you then ignore it then you can get on with your life whatever it does to make to say you are over her.What she did was very immature by telling you she loved you and by saying that she was pregnant. It looks like she may be testing the water with you even when she is with someone else, hoping that you will give her attention. Clearly, the girl is not worthy of your time.Now that you're single, you can focus on what you want for yourself. This is what I realised after being single for some time.Things will improve over time and the process of getting over her will be quicker as long as there is no contact between you two.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): You sound really creepy. Leave the poor girl alone for God's sake. She is a young beautiful princess, and she has all the right to choose whom she wants to be with, which is evidently nit you. Stalking her is not the solution. Stop thinking in a creepy way and learn to grow up and face life; you were not good enough for her. Accept it and move on!!! If you keep harassing her don't be surprise to find the police knocking your door. You really have to move on, and take the poor cute girl out of your creepy thoughts please. It is obvious why she ran away!Emily
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A
male
reader, charlie p +, writes (1 August 2010):
Yeah, best not see more of her. If possible, find someone else for a very relaxed, slow paced relationship, it will help you shift focus from the past to the future. Also keep a small list of the bad points of the relationship, keep looking at it when you think of her, as people often forget those things and focus too much on the good times, which creates a false impression of a perfect relationship, which it clearly wasn't. Good luck, matey
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Just focus on the things that bother you about her and why things won't work out anyway if you stick with her. You will be happy again. Life always gives you more options. For the time being the hardest thing to do is to keep telling yourself you can't go back to her, but it has to be done. You are in a transition right now. Even though it's painful there's still a beautiful element to it. Think outside of yourself and imagine you are one of those actors in a romantic tragedy. Suddenly you are not only an actor but also a director to the rest of the story. Think of life as an art. Eventually you will be ready for a new love. Who could that be?
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A
male
reader, Flyguymyeye +, writes (1 August 2010):
Check loveshack, they have a great forum in coping.No contact is the way to go, it hurts but you will heal.
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A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (1 August 2010):
 If i was you, i'd delete her number so you can't text/ring her. If she contacts you, ignore her. You've already said she messed with your head, the whole pregnancy thing, lying to you and telling you she loves you. Why hang on to that? As the saying goes.. Theres plenty more fish in the sea! :)
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