A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My guy ("Connor") never asked me to be his girlfriend so I thought it was ok for me to see other people if I wanted. So I kept seeing him and four other men (though I never slept with any of them). They all knew I was a virgin and accepted it. But then, Connor took my virginity and afterwards, started to show that he felt more and more for me. One of the three other guys, I left. The other, I talk to but keep brushing off for dates but he stays. One, I told we'd be friends since I felt no chemistry anyway. And the other (thankfully) walked away cause his mother told him to :p Connor, despite being scared of relationships, told me he loved me and wanted me for his own. But, I'm afraid he might be playing with me since I've never met his friends, family, etc. and still never said we were in a relationship. Hes not married (I have proof). He treats me so well, but I'm scared-so I keep Guy #2 around to talk to..my fall-back and I'm sickened with myself cause he's truly kind. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Good to hear, it took guts but it was the right thing to do for everyone concerned. You should be proud of yourself :)
Best of luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your time everyone-funny how getting other perspectives can make one see more clearly...I told my "fall-back" that we were friends and I was sorry for making him think he had a chance when I really didn't have romantic or sexual feelings towards him. He wasn't happy but, he said he appreciated me telling him before he really fell for me. Connor was upset that I didn't trust him enough and was afraid I slept with the guy, but then, he remembered I wasn't that sort of person (along with the fact that the guy's very far away :p) and forgave my rashness and insecurity. Ijust really didn't want to get hurt by him and thought a fall-back was the answer...I love him and he told me he loved me but that, the way he was, he simply thought I'd know from his actions...so yeah, thanks again guys :)
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (1 August 2010):
Stop f#&king both connor and guy 2 around. Pick one.
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A
male
reader, Firefighter +, writes (1 August 2010):
Well I think u should ask him if he is being real w you nd ask him if he is serious nd if I really liked a girl I was serious about I would want her to meet my friends family etc ... But keeping a guy as a fall back is not guud he well end up hurt nd mad at u if he realy likes u it's ok too have friends but misleading well end in heartache
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 How long have you been dating and how long are you willing to wait? Connor is the guy you like. Sounds like this is still too new to talk about meeting family and friends. Be done with Connor first, then think about other people. You don't know Connor well enough to see if a relationship is possible. There is no need to rush things. Find out what he's afraid of, and then determine if he's reasonable, or just using it as an excuse. Everybody is scared at the beginning. It makes a difference what you do with the feeling. He maybe scared of being hurt, or he maybe afraid he wont live up to your expectations.
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