A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently just moved away from my old town and have trouble deciding what I want to do with my life. I live in NYC and would love to have a successful career in the media. However, something is holding me back. I am in love with a man back home, and choosing this career, will cause me to never see him again. My second choice career, would keep me close to him. What makes this even worse is that our love is forbidden. Even if I told him we couldn't be together, and if I wait for him and choose my second choice career, it might be too late. He could have found someone else. He has no idea I feel this way about him, especially because we have always been on a professional level. We have so much in common and many people don't understand him. He is an amazing guy with such great values. This may seem silly, giving up a career for some man I may not even know, but there is something about him. As hard as it is for us to be together, I'm almost certain it will happen. That's when I believe in fate, but sometimes I believe that if you want something you have to make it happen.Is love coincidence? fate? or do I have to make it happen? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): @ Zayla80
I am not unstable, but young and naive. Though your reply was a slap in the face, it was a good one.
I appreciate your honesty and good advice. Thank you.
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (29 July 2010):
That is always a hard decision! between man & career.
you say your love is forbidden? what i would do doesn't always work for someone else! i would pick my career because that is your security and if working in the Media, is your passion! go for it. love will come along and when it does you will be stable fiancially and mentally to take care of yourself!! if the relationship goes south. get your feet planted then if it happens (love) then so be it. you sound like you know what you want and your on the right track except a man is holding you back not phyiscally but mentally tell him how you feel that way you will have your answer and you will be able to move on w/ no regrets and have more focus on what you wanna do and saying that you will go into it very confident and ready and your mind is at ease.
Best Wishes!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): How can you "lose" him when you are not even in a relationship with the guy? He is not your boyfriend, therefore you are not obligated to wait around or change your career path for him.
Moreover, how do you know if this guy will feel as intensly about you as you feel about him? Here you are, willing to give up your CAREER for a man you haven't even begin to date just yet....to me..that spells DESPERATE, not LOVE. It spells CRUSH, not caring or loving the guy.
It's nice to think positive, and believing to the point that it could happen, but I don't think that applies in your case. You are crush struck and it's really creepy to say the least...I can only imagine how you would respond if this guy starts dating someone else....
I think you need to get a better check on your emotions and fantasies before they ruin you. Read relationship books, go to therapy, visit different blogs on the website, but whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP YOUR CAREER FOR A MAN YOU HAVE NEVER DATED AND DO NOT KNOW. It's silly, crazy and shows signs of emotional instability on your part.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 You can make the best out of your life but the higher power has to agree with what comes in your path. If it's a forbidden love then no matter what you do it won't come to the surface. What's holding you back might be the fear of the unknown and also being afraid of looking at the vastness of your potential for success. You can find love again in New York, probably a more practical kind of love. You can balance work, love and family. You don't have to pick only one and sacrifice the other.
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