A
female
age
36-40,
*ngelsrhere
writes:i see all the answers posted on here about the same situation as mine and maybe im looking for trouble asking but want some outside advice.my boyfriend is 14 years older then me and has 3 kids, none of which will go near their dad because he will only visit them if they agree to visit with me as well. They send me nasty emails and im not sure what to do about it anymore. I have even gotten letters from his wife saying he is cheating on me with her but i dont believe her. He is still technically married (which i know is an issue) but i believe he will divorce her. My family are very supportive of our relationship and love my boyfriend alot. He will be going to court in a month for child support and we can barely make ends meet now. I find that he is stressed out about money alot and about his kids which then stresses me out. I feel like im working for nothing. i know He still talks to his wife, which i dont like but i know he has to because of the kids and breakup stuff but i worry sometimes about it.what i want to know is will it always be this hard?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): It sounds like they are all very bitter and blaming it all on you rather than him. But he is going through with the divorce for you and making sure they acknowledge you, so that is good.
It may be easier after the divorce but it will never be easy.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 May 2008):
 Angelsrhere,
Maybe your life in the future won't be as hard as it is today, but it will be difficult. Not so much because you are with an older partner, or with a partner who has kids, but because of the bad connection you have with his children and his wife.
It seems to me that he will leave his wife. It also seems to me that the wife is lying when she says he is still sleeping with her. But, he must pay child support; he has three children and needs to be responsible for them. Also, he will always need to meet with his ex wife and with his kids, and, sometime in the future, those meetings will need to take place without you - they are not giving him an option.
I don't think it's the kids themselves who do this. I think it's the wife. She will always feel bad about his leaving her, and that won't change.
You will need to be strong if you stay with him. Things might change a bit when he stabilizes after his divorce. But don't think that your life will be easy.
Take much care. I wish you the best.
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