A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My question is about relationships with people of differing nationalities.I am Australian of english/irish heritage and my boyfriend is Greek but was born/raised in Australia. his brother is married to a women who is half greek and half anglo. The fact that he is greek is no problem for me, or my family. And it doesn't *seem* to be a big problem for him or his family.So i would just like to know if anybody has had experience with/been in the same situation as me?What problems could arise from this (unimportant in my opinion) difference? particularly on his side of things?Or do things tend to go pretty smoothly and there is no need for me to worry?Thanks everyone Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hi,
I would only say that you might have a problem if his parents wanted him to marry a Greek girl or won't easily accept you into the family.
Greeks in Australia tend to be one of two varieties. Very traditonal conservative or totally integrated into Australian ways. Greeks I know in the former category have a very low opinion of Australian culture and would never marry outside their culture, and the rare occasions they do, the Australian has to effectively embrace the Greek way of life. The latter are no different from any other Australian and life will be no different .
so if your partner's family accept you unconditionally ( and there are no pressures to convert to Greek Orthodox )then you have nothing to worry about i bet. But if he is very conservative he will probably have expectations of you to be rather subservient to him after marriage. Australian culture is very laid back and its people go with the flow. Some other cultures do not see this as an attribute at all so the key thing is to determine whether your partner shares the same values as you. And finally the simple thing is to talk to him, ask him what his views are on things : marriage, children, the wife's role in a marriage etc. Good luck.Just a warning: a very good friend of mine who is Greek , someone I have know for over 20 years, became a totally different person the moment his partner got pregnant - all of a sudden he was the bread winner, the man of the house , and she was the little woman who should do what she's told.
A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 I would go with Daniel's advice. He said what I wanted to say but he said it better wink.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 I happen to be the son of people of different nationalities, and I have been in relationships with people of different nationalities, too.
I would say that there is no need for you to worry. There is reason, however, to keep your eyes and, above all, your mind, quite open.
Rather than "nationality", I would look at "culture" and "way of being". Nationality is not a particular way of being that you get from the land you were born. Your culture can come from where you were raised. This is, I guess, the key factor. And, of course, I would also consider all the other aspects of a relationship: personality, similarities, common goals, et cetera.
In my eyes, your boyfriend is no Greek. Your boyfriend is an Australian of Greek descent. I'm quite sure that he sees life as seen from Australia, and he has the habits and the customs of Australian life.
Just to illustrate this point, there are many Americans of Mexican descent, the "pochos". Americans think they are Mexicans. We Mexicans know they are not. They are peculiar Americans, and that's it. We tend to consider them as members of one big happily reproducing family, because pretty often they are that, indeed; but that doesn't make them Mexicans.
I think that where you are economically (the "social class") is also important.
Belonging to a different culture gives you a different perspective on life and relationships, and different expectations, too. Sometimes those can be made to match. But you need to be very alert to detect the many misunderstandings that might come up, and you need to be very willing to solve them or at least sort them out. What if your boyfriend wants them to be Greek Orthodox, say, and you want them to have no religion? What if he wants to have nine children, starting ten seconds after the marriage ceremony, and you want only one? What if he wants to raise his children in a traditional manner, very macho, and you don't? I hope I'm making my point clear. I'm afraid that often these problems are not "unimportant", but very, very important.
People of the same nationality but different economic status might find it harder to have a succesful relationship than people of different nationalities and similar economic background. Rich Mexican women wouldn't be successful in a relationship with Mexican manual laborers. They could be succesful with Americans, as they share much.
On the other hand, sometimes it is precisely the difference that you want. My mom wouldn't have married a man from her country. She knew them all too well and they bored her.
That said, I believe that your relationship can be very successful if you two work on that.
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