A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiance' and I were together for 4 years. We have split and come back a few times, but recently she decided that it was time to end it for good. She still wants to be friends, but I still love her and wish her back. Is there anyway that I can get her back to me and in my life again as my partner, not a friend?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Feelings dont just disappear after you break up especially when you've been engaged.
Ask her out to dinner, keep it cool. Don't overboard or anything.
Most importantly talk to her. My bet is she still has feelings for you... Find out why she left and then try to work on it together...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Accept her friendship, then look. And look around. There might be a relationship less volatile for you just around the corner, or just maybe the friendship will lead ot something else.
True friendship rarely "breaks up", because you don't have expectations of each other that you may not meet. You accept each other for what you are are what you do, not what you want your friend to be and to do. A lasting relationship nearly always has to be a friendship first and foremost, so IF you can have that and work at it, there's always a chance.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 May 2008):
 No.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 May 2008):
 The first and most important thing to do is to realize what part you had in the splitting. People don't just split and return over and over again just for something to do. So what mistakes were being repeated that caused this decision?
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A
male
reader, rproctor +, writes (12 May 2008):
What you are asking is a very, very, broad question. Without details such as why you two split and stuff its hard to say. Sometimes people make up their minds and there is no going back. However, on what level of friendship is she willing to maintain with you? If it is as minimal as a phone call once a month then chances are slim. Its its more like going out and hanging out on a frequent basis than your chances are better.
The trick here is you need to find out WHY she has split on you, and work on fixing THAT issue. If she feels that it is more than just ONE issue, and that it is a multitude of reasons, maybe you should try to show here the things you have in common and the reasons why you two should stay together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Tell her you do not want to be her friend, you wouldn't sell yourself that cheap.
Then wait.
If nothing happens find someone new. Whatever you do, do not act desperate.
Good luck
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