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Have any aunts/uncles here ever met up and got on ok?

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Question - (13 May 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2008)
A male United Kingdom, *weet111 writes:

I was just wondering (seeing how everyone on here seems to know the rights and wrongs of everything and can give perfect answers to everyone) if anyone had met each other as agony aunts/uncles on here and were now in a successful relationship?

[Moderator Note] Good point caller!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

Andrew89, I like the way you think. Props. And thank you, sweet111, I always hope to express perfect answers to others agonies! LOL. Just kidding;) I am very faund of some folk on this site, and have recieved some of the best advice here as well, that I found to be perfect advice for me and my situation. We cant always hear what we need to hear from the ones we love, so this site, is fricken awsome!!!!

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A male reader, Andrew83 United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2008):

Andrew83 agony auntAnon, what is your problem?

If you dont like what others say fine, dont read it.

I dont see anyone in a "pissy attitude" here.

Everyone here is aloud to have their own views posted and i dont see out wrong with that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

Why the pissy attitude? This is an ADVICE blog. That advice comes from humans, who are inherently imperfect, which goes without saying (or should, anyway). If you don't like the advice or have such condescension for the people giving it, don't come here.

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A male reader, Andrew83 United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2008):

Andrew83 agony auntNone of our answers are perfect, its just advice, the ones who asked the question choose to use it and if it helps them alot then great :)

Every person on the planet is perfect but not in the way alot would say. We're all the same as in human beings which makes us perfect but its the impertections that draw us to other people (ok, some).

We're the third person or persons, we're lookin at the problem thats not our own makin it easier to resolve or give advice on. The person postin their prblem has to give as much info and detail as they can so we (Agony aunts, uncles) can give more to the point advice on the matter/problem.

Whether Agony aunts, uncles meet on here in person i dont really know, but if they do and it works out for them then great! all the best to them. They could always post it in the forums if they havent already.

Sorry but when i typed this up, i was half asleep :S

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 May 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhile I haven't actually met any of the aunts in the flesh, I do feel that we have formed successful relationships with regards to this site. I know which questions certain aunts are really good at answering and which ones are going to set some of the aunts off. There are so many different personalities on here, every question gets a pretty good smattering of responses, one if bound to be the helpful one to the poster. Wouldn't that be considered a successful relationship?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

Perfection for one person is rarely perfection for another.

What might be perfectly tolerable to one creates total revulsion to another.

We are not all the same, and that is why this wonderful site is so very much better than any "agony" column where only one "agony aunt" expresses her (or his) opinion. Here, you receive opinions from people of very different backgrounds, experiences and beliefs, and within those opinions is very often the gem of comfort or the spark of an idea that fits perfectly with the needs of the individual asking the question.

And, I disagree with Danielepew on one point: a serious agony aunt or uncle can give more than one opinion, because a serious agony aunt or uncle may understand that not all needs are the same as his or her own, and may have the life experience of dealing with people whose needs and desires are varied and diverse. It's the diversity that comes together on this site, and the diversity that makes it so valuable.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (13 May 2008):

Danielepew agony auntYour question is in the line of "doctor, heal thyself". It seems to make sense: if we give advice to people on what they should do or shouldn't be doing, and occasionally we get angry and treat people harshly, then our relationships should be perfect; and perhaps we should find a kindred soul here, and then we would have a relationship twice as good as perfect.

But you're wrong.

Agony aunts, uncles, nephews and grandaddys are all people who have flaws, ticks, whatever. Some of us must even have foot odor problems (I don't :-) ). Many, if not most, of us came here with a problem we couldn't solve, and found a solution, sometimes the one we didn't want to hear about. We're not perfect, period. And, despite what it might seem, no serious agony aunt or uncle or whatever can claim to give more than one opinion. We use the description that people make of their problems to offer thoughts. Our advice is as good as the description people give and as good as our experience in life can be. The best advice, I'm afraid, might come from people who have had serious failures in their romantic lives, but managed to stand up and go on.

You might also not know that, for reasons that should be clear to you, it's easier to analyze and dissect a problem that's not your own. It is very easy to tell a man to give her girlfriend space when your mouth hasn't felt her kisses. It is very easy to tell a woman to leave her husband when it's not you who the husband cuddles at night. And so on. If you expect the agony aunts to be perfect in everything, and be the perfect analysts of their own lives and feelings, et cetera, you're dead wrong. The perfect person doesn't exist.

I don't know if any agony aunts and uncles have tied the knot or at least have a functional and successful relationship. You need to know that this site has existed for very long, I understand, and many of us must have left the site, and will leave it, eventually. We also live in many different countries in the world, even though the majority of us seems to live in Britain and the United States. The obvious reason is that this site is in English, and non-native speakers of English, like myself, won't come here for advice because of obvious language barriers.

The basic point you want to make is that perhaps the advice you get here isn't perfect. Oh, that's for sure. But very often the people here do hit the nail and the poster does get a solution to his or her problem. Imperfect people in imperfect relationships can sometimes find the perfect solution to their problems, even if the opinions come from other imperfect people. For the people who have found a solution here, there is an universe of difference.

Once I read that God had the choice of creating an imperfect world or creating none. The writer thanked God for choosing the former. I think we should all thank Andrew for doing the same.

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