A
male
age
51-59,
*luebunny
writes:I've been dating this girl for 3 months, then on the 4th month we decided to live together. On the 5th month i went to Hawaii to work for 4 months (with continous communications, sending gifts and stuff to her). 2 weeks before i finished my 4 months contract, she told me that she doesn't love me anymore and she's seeing someone else. She was accusing me of having an affair in Hawaii because she opened my myspace profile and she saw an email from a girl in Hawaii asking tips on living in New York (I'm from NYC). She asked me out once in Hawaii, but i refused because i said i have a g/f back home. Honestly, I have never touched a woman's body since i was away, and my g/f doesn't believe me. When i got back from my work trip, there was another guy in our apartment whom she said is her new b/f. She called a police and kicked me out of my apartment (i'm a co-signer, all bills in under my name, furnished the apartment myself). What should i do? I still love her. Please give me tips on how to move on.Thank you very much.
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male
reader, bluebunny +, writes (10 May 2008):
bluebunny is verified as being by the original poster of the question few days after the break up she told me the guy (w/c i also know of) is only a friend. now she's holding my stuff in the apartment by letting me get some of my stuff ones every 2 weeks. i want to get all of my stuff & move on.
to hlskitten:
it was my idea of living together despite the fact that i only know her for 3 months. she was living with her uncle in studio apartment & sleeping in the same bed. if you think hlskitten i'm not ready to settle down, you are wrong. i told her all my plans & how much i love her. i just don't know what is she looking for though?
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 As to the girl, "don't do nuthin'". That's history. Forget about her and all the et ceteras. You didn't see anyone else, but she did, and now she wants to put you in the defensive by striking first. Let her have her man.
As to moving on, you really have it easy, man: she is bad. Think about that and you will feel happy she left you. You can say many nasty things about her and they all will be true. That's perhaps the easiest way to move on.
As to the apartment, I think you have rights there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): I'd just like to say, good for you for being faithful to to your woman though I'm sure it was a killer for her to wonder and wonder if something was going on. 4 months is a long time when you had only been with her several months before you left. You didn't really have the time in 3 months of dating and 1 month of living together to really establish a foundation for trust. That's the way I see it. It's unfortunate that it worked out that way. I mean obviously you tried your best. Still, her fears got the best of her and she found someone to avoid feeling overwhelmed with regret while waiting for you to return. I understand her fears and how hard it is for her to believe you. At the same time, understand that the two of you didn't have the chance to establish that trust because you likely had not been with her for long enough. It takes time to truly fall in love and to cease questionning the character of another.
I'm sure you've already done so, but I'd just try again to talk to her and explain that it's unfortunate she found someone new, but that you truly were faithful to her. Just be sincere. It's all you CAN do. It was just bad circumstances and life goes on. It really sucks. I've been there, but just be yourself, try your best to talk to her in a calm manner and life goes on. You can't make her come back to you, but you can clarify what went on. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Sometimes absence does not make the heart grow fonder and when the person isn't truly in love the void can become lonely. It sounds as if she filled her void and this new man became the new you.
You need to get your name off the apartment lease and get your things and move on. Go ahead and get the police to help you get your belongings.
I understand that you still love her but at this time it is best to let her be.
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A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Hey Bluebunny, I'm really sorry for you, but it sounds to me that she couldn't have had true feelings for you. If she loved you that much, she'd have given you a chance ~ but to right you off that fast...AND move another guy into your apartment that soon? It all smells rather fishy to me.
I'm thinking that perhaps she may have used the finding of that message an excuse to split from you.
{I could of course be wrong} but she wasted no time filling your shoes.
You remained honourable and faithful to her while you were in Hawaii.
Oh hell!!....and you even refused a date with this girl over there. Bet you wished you'd gone with her now, well, you may as well have done....you got accused anyway.
Blue..I know it's gonna be a killer, especially if you still love her, but I'm sure you'll be strong enough to get thru this. I suggest you move on, you need to focus on something or someone else so as she's not in your thoughts all the time.
Best of luck.
BigSis xXx
BigSis
xXx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Hi
Sounds like this girl was ready for the full commitment before you were and you met some girls while you were away. Which is cool! But it doesnt sound like you're quite ready to offer her what she is looking for now. It happens. Let her find mr right...now. You know what i mean..
C xxxx
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