A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I feel this is unusual because if it remains undetectable for a period of time, why did we break out at around the same time? Does this mean she cheated on me, got it, gave it to me, and a couple of days later, my symptoms showed up. How could she have symptoms and then I get symptoms a couple of days later. If she already had it before we dated, how come I did not get an outbreak sooner, rather than after the same time she did?
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female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Talk to her. Don't put her on the defensive, but tell her you have some questions because of the timing of the symptoms.
Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, and unless you can somehow clear this up you will always have it in the back of your mind that she cheated. And if you can't trust her, there's not really a good relationship to save, is there?
Talk to her. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Well stick with that, "no proof she cheated" and move on; leaves this segment behind you. Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOops, I think that was the CDC's web page. Anyhow...it explains that in both men and women...you can have no symptoms or they show up like you said. Also though, Chlamydia can show symptoms later in women because it spread more throughout her body, thus making the disease show symptoms. When would they appear? You got me. It depends on the person and how bad it is spread through there system. I am still left in the same situation, though...I have no sure fire proof she cheated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do agree with the symptoms showing up. The web page from Medline Plus also says that it usually does not cause symptoms, but can. Here is the web site and it's legit because I got the link off of a Clinic's web page.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/chlamydiainfections.html
This is why I am so confused. I do not know if she did or not. Thank you for taking the time to write me.
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (13 May 2008):
There's a section of http://yourstdhelp.com/talking_with_your_partner_about_stds.html that talks about whether the partner "cheated" -- it says that for chlamydia, the symptoms (if there were any) would appear 1-4 months after infection.
I'm wondering whether it could be dormant for a while, not show anything, then have a flare up where the other was infected? I don't know enough; I would talk to a doctor before I went off on her. You should definitely talk to her though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Ask your doctor. They may not even have an answer for that, were talking chemistry, and nothing is definite.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 You need all your bases covered before you can be sure someone cheated on you. Ask your doctor.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst...thanks for taking the time to answer my question. I have read that sometimes Chlamydia can stay symptomless for many months. Here is my question, though. So, how come our symptoms came right with each other. I can see on one side, that we could have signs around the same time if she cheated. On the other side...I see how it could have stayed symptomless and appeared at the same time. This one seems to have a less chance of happening. Both being symptomless for so long and all of a sudden, it appears on both of us. There are two answers to this question...but her cheating on me receives a more believable answer for us to be together for so long and we both have symptoms at the same time a year later. Odd, huh. Thanks again for taking the time to read and help me and give me some advice.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Yeah, this really sounds like she cheated.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (12 May 2008):
Just in case, to avoid any mistakes, I will try to summarize what you said.
You have been seeing a girl for one year. Recently, you two had symptoms, and you two got tested. She was the first to have symptoms, and, a couple of days later, you had them, too.
Your test revealed you both are infected with chlamydia.
You wonder whether your girlfriend cheated on you, because the symptoms are recent. You think that, if either she or you had had a symptomless disease for long, then there's no reason why the symptoms should appear only now - they should have appeared long ago.
When they do produce symptoms, chlamydia infections take from one to three weeks to show. So, apparently, your girl did cheat on you.
However, if I were you, I would first ask a doctor whether it is possible for symptoms to appear after a long time with the disease. Also, I understand that you can be reinfected. I wonder if it is possible not to show symptoms the first time, and then do show them on reinfection.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): I read a web site that stated it could appear 2-3 weeks after being infected. It is easily treated, and if not treated could cause infertility.
You can only get by oral; anal and intercourse which include more then one partner.
I'd say she may have cheated. What ha she said about it?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): If i was a betting man i'd say she was a cheat.
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