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Should he have stayed, under any condition?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 May 2008)
A female United States age , *lipat writes:

My boyfriend was the one who gave me my first kiss. He lived in the neighborhood and hung out with my brother. He was the first boy that kissed me. Years later I saw him out and that was that. Then, about 2 years ago I got sick. I told him to run while he had the chance. That there was always something wrong with me. He promised he would never leave, Even if we had decided not to marry again, we both vowed we would stay together forever, through sickness and health. We didn't see the need, we were so in love.

Then 2 years ago I got sick. The doctors thought it was cancer. We cried in each others arms. Tests got finished, no cancer. Along with the pain and sleepless nights, I got depressed and he took the next 8 months taking care of me and fixing this house up to move into a ranch .

I have had panic attacks, had an episode of fibromyalga and was in the hospital for 6 days and going through menapause. All the while, getting bitchier and bitchier. So,one night I said something thta wasn't very nice to his son and he left. The one time I have talked to him, just days after he left, he said he couldn't come back yet. It's been 7 weeks. My birthday and a small surgery went by and i haven't heard a word from him. He left without anything; just the clothes on his back. Some of his mail comes here too. Do you think he may of thought I needed a shrine of his things?

What if anything should I say to him so he may reconsider his move? The million dollar question is...I would of felt, out of love, to make sure his son understood that I was sick and they should of stayed. That's the question, he should of stayed, under any condition right?

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (17 May 2008):

Danielepew agony auntWhy don't you talk to him and apologize if you said something rude? You can tell him you didn't mean it; you said it because of your disease. That would help a lot, I guess.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

honey he is just mad at you for know. he will get over it.one day without thinking about it he will come back to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

It is hard for people to really understand what you are going through unless they have been sick themselves. He is not a bad guy, and you are not a bad person, you just should have been a bit easier on him. He took care of you for 8 months you said. He has been with you through everything thus far. You being mean to his son and getting "bitchier" made him need to get away for a little while. He probably just needs some time. It is a lot, a lot of pressure to put on someone and being mean makes it worse. I understand you are sick and expect him to be there through everything, I am sick as well so I get it. But you need to not be selfish, he has done everything he can. Are you angry at being sick? And taking it out on him? He stayed for as long as he could but left for his own sanity. Call and apologize for everything you said but try not to say it is because you are sick. He knows and doesn't need the explanation or to feel guilty about leaving. Just apologize and give him his time. I hope he comes around. And appreciate his help next time around. I hope you get better.

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