A
female
age
41-50,
*abydoll03
writes:ok this sounds crazy and i know its all in front of me but i keep doubting my own self..about a month ago my gf tipped me off that my current bf of about 6months is "talking" to some girl her boyfriend knows and its still going on , but i didn't believe her.. yet.. what she said quickly came to mind when all of a sudden i noticed that everytime i went to his house his phonewas nowhere in sight...and when one night i felt his phone in his POCKET while he was sleeping is when alarms really started ringing in my head. I confronted him and he told me i was crazy and insane and how does he even have time to cheat on me let alone that he'd ever do that to me..and yes.. i believed him.. he even went as far to tell me that i must've had a "BAD DREAM" when i felt his phone in his pocket.. so i doubted myself some more and forgot about the incident.. the past weekend after a night out i called him and said i was coming over.. we had been arguing earlier that night and i missed him and wanted to see him.. i drove to his house..and mind you he is a 30minute drive from me.. and i noticed a white car i've never seen parked right in front of his house right in front of his own car.. so i call him to tell him im there and first he didn't pick up and when he finally did he refused to let me in.. he claimed that he was mad at me and confused and didn't want to see me.. after some more arguing and confronting him about the strange car (and him calling me crazy some more) i left and went home.. i woke up to a phone call the next morning and him apologizing all over the place and saying he was just drunk and didn't mean anything he said.. and of course i believe him.. YESTERDAY .. i was on his computer on his myspace and half expecting to find something... and of course its a message from some girl and it said this: "evan.. it was so good talking to you last week, i wish we could've hung out.. it sucks because you're messing with me but you have all the power so when you want to speak with me you know my number"this was about a month ago... "last week" and i looked it up on the calendar.. referred to the week i accused him of hiding his phone from me .. i confront him.. he says its some stupid "slut" from over the summer who just contacted him on myspace.. when i threaten to break up with him and DO break up with him... he says.. well she texted me but i told her i had a gf.. it doesnt addup.. he keeps lying.. he wont tell me the truth and thats all i freakin want more than anything just THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!! when i call him to tell me things that i wana hear i guess and start doubting myself.. what do I do??????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): my man won't confess either. he says they never spoke and so i finally had the guts to ask her myself she said they spoke. He says he doesn't even know her. She says their friends. Lies lies lies. He will NEVER admit because he knows for a fact you would replace him in a second. He is insecure and him cheating on you may be the only way of making him feel like the shit. But whatever leave his ass. Do no wait 'till it's late and you have kids it's going to be even more difficult. We've been together for 13 years, have 4 kids and he messed up BIG TIME and still won't admit. All the evidence was there. Just because you haven't seem them in action don't mean that they didn't do shit. They have. He probably saying what you haven't seen won't hurt you..LEAVE NOW!
A
female
reader, shelly300  +, writes (14 March 2010):
I feel sorry for you I know how it feels to doubt yourself i have a man i have been with for 11 years and we have children together i feel very strongly sometimes he is cheating from stains he gets which are seman stains he says he does not know how they got there, mind you this does not happen at home.
at the moment you dont have children you deserve better the fact he wont let you in his house that night after 30 min of travel is pretty sad, you should have hid somewhere and waited for her to come out, then you could see for yourself, it is just a game to him he loves the fact that he can play games with you and you chase him down, it may make him feel better about himself, how low could he be to do this to another person, its fucked up. you seem like very trusting person which is rare in a women, you really can find a great guy who loves those things in a women go and get better girl.
the fact he hides his phone says he has someone calling him and to tell you it was not in his pocket that you had a dream come what is he doing to you why are you doubting that, i know we dont want it to be true but the truth is in from of you wake up and see he is shit and garbage throw him out.
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A
male
reader, Drnooch +, writes (17 May 2008):
He's a guy he wont fess up. Your young probably attractive enough to find another, so do it.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 May 2008):
 Retreat and let him do all the chasing.
Take a nonchalance stand and see how he reacts.
You will know how high you stand in his sight.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): You, my dear, are an idiot. Go with your gut, break up with that loser, get checked for STDs and go find a hotter, richer, better one (who doesn't use myspace).
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A
female
reader, babydoll03 +, writes (16 May 2008):
babydoll03 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much to everyone who has responded to my crazy story!! i know what I have to do its just hard and yes I have been in denial!!!!
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Why: Because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions. He's immature... has a lot of growing up to do... I used to be like him, always having some girl on the side, no matter how awesome my gf was. Some guys are just like that, and it takes a while for us to grow out of it. I wouldn't wait around if I were you... he's self-centered... he'll never confess, and if he did it would only be because you confronted him with video footage or something- he will get away with as much as he can. You don't want to stick around with a guy who uses you like that. Men can be cold and heartless, honestly... he probably thinks he's protecting you by not telling the truth, but really he's just protecting himself. Not all guys are like this...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): You know the truth, we know the truth, your just looking for confirmation, because you love this guy and you don't want to have to leave him.
HE'S LYING TO YOU. HE'S CHEATING ON YOU.
Your not stupid, your just in denial. Stop avoiding the issue, get rid of him before he breaks you heart even more than he's doing at the moment.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 It does seem he was seeing this other girl, and was not serious about her. That wouldn't change the fact that his seeing her was cheating. If he did cheat, he will not admit he did, because some people don't usually admit what they do wrong.
Like you said, it's in front of you. You need to think what to do.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): If you really like this guy then you're gonna have to do the hardest thing you've ever done. Your gonna have to break up with him. It seems to me that there are alot suspicious things going on. If you keep doubting yourself and taking him back it's only going to get worse because he'll start to believe your gullible. I know a number of things about gullibility, trust me. My ex was the same way. I caught him with some slut in my backyard! He was humping her against the fence and even after I caught him he still wouldn't admit that he was cheating. Trust me darling, don't wait to long. Don't let it get that bad.
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