A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please...im in need of relationship advice!I have an ex of which ive been split from since dec 2005/06. Im currently in another relationship with a guy whom i love dearly, but i just cant seem to get my ex out of my mind. For the past 2 year or so, he often pop's into my thoughts, i also long for him sometimes (but am currently happy)....although the relationship with my ex ended due to his commitments to his children (5). Is this all due to not having a proper closure? Or due to the fact that i never received the love and respect i needed? Or due to the fact that i was left broken with a heart that only did love him, but never was truely loved/respected in return?How can i move on with my occasional thoughts, because i love my partner dearly whom loves me, respects me and is everything ive ever yearned for!I know things would never work out, and things do seem to get better but he's still there...in my dreams...when i play music etc. I try to look at them as the happy memories, and be thankfull for what time we did spend together. Any advise on how to stop thinking about him and continue to move on in my relationship?
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female
reader, Alemuh +, writes (7 November 2007):
 I can see your point it can be hard to forget about those we loved/love. Even if you are happy currently theres still someone in the back of your mind, i don't think that you are wrong for having these thoughts even if you can't properly understand why you keep getting flashbacks. I agree with the poster above though don't let it effect your current realationship. If this guy is giving you everything then he deserves the same in return don't lose what you have today for something that has been lost already.
I hope you feel better soon x
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 My dear, this is what you need to have in mind:
You have a wonderful relationship here and now, with a man who is everything you want. You HAD a relationship in the past, with someone who didn't give you the respect and love you needed. This man left you. Will you lose what you have now over what is gone?
Sometimes we come across wonderful people we would never have wanted to lose. But, we lose them. Such is life. The moment comes when we learn to accept the inevitable. Let time heal your wounds, but be very careful not to "lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday", as in Dionne Warwick's wonderful song.
P. S.: If you can't really love the person you're with at the moment, you should give him the chance to find someone who will give him what he wants.
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