A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.The other day me and my boyfriend were in a takeaway talking to one of our friends and he was asking if we'd thought of getting engaged yet. My boyfriend just didn't say anything and i was looking at him with a bit of a disappointment on my face, and he noticed.He explained that he thinks we need to be a bit more stable yet in our relationship, as we have only been together for a year and 4 months.He went on to say that he has never really given it too much thought and has never thought that too far into the future.I understand what he means about wanting us to be more stable, because i want that too, but should i be worried that he hasn't even thought about it? He explained that he loves me very much and i know that. I know he loves me, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and is such a wonderful guy.He was saying that he doesn't really know whether it's serious or not but he can see us having a very long relationship.I'm just worried that he may never want us to move to the next level, even though he did say he reckons it'll be a couple of years before we make plans to get a house together.He's currently studying a degree and can't move out of his parents house yet because he can't afford it with the wage he's on at the moment.Once again, i'd like to say that i know he does love me, if i wasn't sure i wouldn't be with him. But is my guy scared to committ? People have brought this up to us both before and it's like he hates talking about the subject and just says "Not yet"Thanks in advance for all your comments
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female
reader, cardsgirl  +, writes (6 November 2007):
Sounds like you have a guy with a good head on his shoulders. You stated he is getting his degree, and still living with his parents because of finances. He sounds very smart. He seems to want to be sure to get his degree and have a stable job before making that kind of move, which is very wise. If your relationship is great now, just enjoy it and give him time. You dont need a ring and piece of paper to have a loving relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): well he's 23, i should have stated that before lol and i'm 19 but i understand what your saying.And to the other reader, he wouldn't have thought i was setting him up because we hardly ever see this guy. We were talking about him and his girlfriend being engaged for 3 years and then he just said "Are you two not getting engaged?"Just thought i should point that out, thanks for all your comments, keep them coming please!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): I'm assuming he is young (as you are)..
Not all guys think about marriage so young!! My boyfriend freaks out at the thought and starts running the other way!! Haha, just give him some time. He loves you and that's all that matters at this time.
It will all fall together eventually if it is meant to!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 I agree with Tux. There is also the possibility that he felt ambushed. Why should a friend worry whether you two will engage or not? Maybe he thought you asked your friend to pose the question to him.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Egads, why oh why do friends feel the need to meddle in other's relationships.. The way you have explained it makes it seem like you have a great relationship right now. Yes there may not be an engagement ring or talk of one or the thought, but when the time is right, it'll come. I really don't take this has the fear of commitment but more of making sure his commitment comes at a time where he can take care of you. Being together for a year and 4 months is a pretty good commitment so far. Time will go by and things may change, but as an outside viewer of how you described things, I really don't see that you have a big problem at all.
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