A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My cat died two days ago. I can't stop crying. How do i get through this?. My cat was 16 years old. I had her since she was two months old. She started becoming ill last week ( it may have even been longer than that, but that is when it got worse ) . She lost her appetite. She wouldnt eat her cat food and would only eat tuna. She drank water though. She also didn't use the litter tray much. I noticed that she had lost a lot of weight on Monday. She had also been turning her head from one side to the other too, and kept bowing her head down. I took her to the vets . My mum and brother were with me. The vet said that her heart was failing and that her temperature was low. He said she could get treatment, but it might not have worked because of her age, and that if she had been a younger cat, there could have been a chance. He also said that she probably wouldn't be alive for more than another day. We made the decision for her to be put down. We all started crying. My mum and I were so upset, we felt that we couldn't stay in the room. We all gave her a kiss goodbye and stroked her. My brother stayed with her when she was put down. How brave he was!. He broke down crying when he came out of the room too. I regret not staying with her , but at the time, i didn't feel that i could face it. I also regret that sometimes i didn't sit with her downstairs or bring her into my room that often ( i did sit with her downstairs, but sometimes when i am at home, i stay in my room quite a lot ), and regret the times i didnt see her when i was out somewhere. I hope she knew how much she was loved. When she was on the vets table, she had urinated a lot. She urinated on a cushion at home too, after i made the phone call to my mum and brother to say that we should take her to the vets. It was strange because it was like she knew what was going to happen!. She also turned to look at me at one point when she was on the vet's table. Her little head was shaking, and she looked so scared. I can't stop thinking about that. I have also been thinking about the good times though. She was very funny and cheeky!. I lay awake until 4am last night, and the night before, thinking about her. I cried a lot on Monday night night when i got home , and also cried a lot yesterday and today. I don't know how i am going to get through this?. I don't feel up to doing much at all, and i can't concentrate on anything. I also feel sad because she might have wanted to die at home. She was always happy and comfortable here. It's sad that she died feeling scared on a vet's table. But, it was probably better that she died quickly , rather than dying at home and a family member finding her. At least she isn't suffering now.This was the first time i have ever had a pet put down, and she was the pet that i had for the longest amount of time. I was only 13 when i got her. I would like to get another cat, maybe even one that looks like her. I'm not sure if i should get one just yet though. Do you think it would help if the cat looks ,and maybe acts like her?. I think it would in a way, as it would be like having her back, but it could also be sad, as it would remind me of her and remind me that she is gone. She was a black and white cat and i have seen other cats who have the same kind of face as her. I still have her bowls for her food and water, the bed she slept on, the scratching pole, and a pink cushion that she liked to sit on. I would like to keep them, but i keep crying when i look at those things. I also keep expecting to see her around the house, and sometimes, i think she is just asleep in her bed. She was always a good companion, and she cheered me up when i was feeling down. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2013): Wow 16 yo, what a good age to reach for any pet. Sorry you are so hurt, it's natural 16 years is a big part of your life shared and i understand the huge gap you will feel.My dog died in my arms ( still bring tears to my eyes years later) My giant house rabbit this xmas died from a simple proceedure prescribed flea treatment, I felt it was my fault because i put it on him, although the vets had given me it and nothing could be proved. He had a seizure and dropped down dead infront of me within 24 hours of treatment(I was heart broken and felt full of guilt, the if only's)to some he was only a rabbit,to me he was part of the family just like your cat was to you. Feel sad and cry ,its part of the healing process.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): I am so Oort to hear this and my thoughts are with you. We lost our lovely Peggy two weeks ago and my son who is 17 had had her since before he was born. He too cannot stop crying. I think eventually you just stop as you are mentally exhausted and no more tears will come. The key is to remember how wonderful they were and all the things about them that they did and were special to them. Eventually you will be able to think of her without crying and in a fond loving way. It is far too soon for you to be able to stop crying but after about a week you will feel calmer although still grieving. My thoughts and love are with you xxxx
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female
reader, Nikiwe  +, writes (14 March 2013):
Im so sorry for your loss sweetie,i lost my cat too mid last year and it was heartbreaking!She had her leg amputated after a terrible accident.We were so positive that she would survive but two days after the amputation she passed on.Mamushka,was her name and she had quite a personality.We do miss her so much although my family and i have sveral other cats and kitties.Be strong, i know it ain't easy but she's in a better place.I mean you would'nt want to see her suffer? Let the tears flow...ul be fine as time is a great healer.Take heart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): I am so sorry for your loss. Pets are our our family too and the grief can be overwhelming especially when you have lived with the pet for many years.
She lived a good and long life. she may have been a bit scared at the end but that was fleeting and she was glad to be relieved of her pain and illness and she wasn't alone, your brother was with her. Animals do not fear death - that is solely a human flaw. She was welcoming the relief from pain and sickness.
Take your time to cry as much as you need. You will start to feel better when you're ready. Don't worry about whether to get another cat yet or not. Do whatever feels right for you. Hugs.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): wow, your post is very emotional to read. I think that what you are going through, given how recent everything is that happened, is totally normal and healthy. You say that keeping her bowl and other belongings brings up strong emotions. I don't think this is a bad thing. Your cat was a huge part of your life and you were there for the suffering and passing on. Your decision was based on compassion and love, and I'm sure your vet supported you. Give yourself the time to grieve and process. I had to do the same for my cat recently. The situation was quite similar, although she had suspected lymphoma and i was force feeding her high calorie serum because she was refusing everything. Liquids included. She was clearly suffering and although at the time i questioned by decision I am starting to understand now that i did the right thing. I picked up her ashes about a week ago. Your cat was very lucky to have you in her life and I am sure, judging by your post alone, that she got more love than many cats can ever hope to get.
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female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (14 March 2013):
 Oh sweetie..I'm so very sorry. A pet is a family member and when we lose them we've lost a friend, a companion a very treasured member of our home. When I lost my beloved siamese cat of 13 years I cried and cried. Man he was my buddy! He and I grew up together through those wicked teenage years. When I would cry (teenage angst) he would put his paws up on me and cry too and it always made me laugh. He was a warm spot on my feet, and a friend to tell my secrets to that I knew would keep them.
It hurts so much, I know. Please don't think you did the wrong thing by putting her to sleep. You did the kindest thing you could possibly do for her. She didn't suffer. Trust me, she knew she was loved. She wasn't alone when her time ended, your brother was there and she felt his presence so please don't feel badly. Pets know when they are loved, trust me.
I was like you, I never wanted another cat after mine passed away, and for years I didn't have one, just because I didn't want to get attached. I don't think that was the right thing though, if you want another cat, please go get one. There are so many animals that just need a home, love. Check out your animal shelter, you will make some animals soooo happy!
As for me??? About 3 years ago on a cold Florida night in February, a scraggly hungry ragmuffin fluffy cat showed up outside our door. She was tired, frightened. Her pads on her paws were really worn down and she looked like she had been through a really rough time. She was huddled against our door and started to run away when I went to look at her. She had been out on her own for awhile, I could tell. She let me pick her up and I brought her inside. It was supposed to only be for the night since it was so very cold outside. 3 years later, she's my fat pampered spoiled princess. We needed each other. She's not a replacement, she's my new friend. You never forget a treasured pet...they will always be in your heart. But its ok to love again. Your pet would want you to. She'll always be in your heart. When you feel sad, think of how much happiness she gave you, and all the crazy silly things she did and it will bring a smile to your face. I promise.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 March 2013):
 Aww I'm so sorry. You lost a family member and a friend in your cat. You're not meant to get over it now. You're okay to grieve! Don't beat yourself up about not being in the room with her, because you did say goodbye to her, and she knew how much you loved her right up until the end. It was a kindness you and your family did to end her pain and suffering rather than watch her continue to waste away.
Go ahead, cry, and be good to yourself. Keep anything you feel you need to. I still have the collar of my kitty who also died at 16 years old too, and Sammy's ending was very much like your kitty's.
Give yourself time to fully remember your cat. Talk about the good memories with your family. Celebrate her life. It will get easier, but for the rest of your life, you'll always remember your cat and feel emotions.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 March 2013):
 I'm sorry for your loss; it's very fresh and very painful. I lost my beloved dog recently and I understand your grief. I wasn't going to adopt a new dog just yet because I thought I would be dishonoring his memory in some way. However, a rescue dog came to my attention and I have a new companion. He's not a replacement, he's not a fill-in, he's his own little self. I think the dog I lost would be pleased that I have taken another dog into my life and given him a chance.A friend of mine shared a poem about a dog's last will and testament. I found the feline version for you:I too, would make a willif I could write.To some poor, wistful, lonelystray I leave my happy home.My dish, my cosy bedmy cushioned chair, my toy.The well-loved lapThe gently stroking handThe loving voiceThe place I made in someone's heart.The love, that at the last,Could help me to a peaceful, painless endHeld in loving armsIf I should dieOh, do not say:'No more a pet I'll haveTo grieve me by its loss'Seek out a lonely, unloved catAnd give my place to him.This is my legacyThe love I leave behindTis all I have to give--Margaret Trowton-----I did not throw away my last dog's stuff, I couldn't bear to touch it just yet. It made me so sad, I missed him so much. But when this rescue dog came into my life, I had to go through the dog stuff and clear out what wasn't useful and put back into use the collar and leash and bowls and toys. I did it with some tears but mostly with joy.I miss my old dog so much still, but the new one, the one I'm getting to know, reminds me of the lessons that dogs teach us. Live in the moment. Love unconditionally the ones you are with. Play. Nap. Exercise. Cuddle. Do not regret the decisions you made in the moments of crisis. They are what they are. Your cat will have understood. You have learned what you need to do. Let it go. Let it go.I was skeptical about the advice some people gave me, to get another dog right away. I needed some period of mourning, which I allowed myself. But then I realize that they were right, getting a new dog made the loss of my beloved companion much less. I can see him in the new one. It makes me happy to have given a dog who was rejected by his first family a new chance at life.Go to the local humane society and see who might appeal to you, who is desperate for a loving sweet home, a home already prepared to share life and love with a new deserving cat.Good luck.
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