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age
36-40,
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writes: Dear Cupid I have been dating a great women for three years and we are making plans to buy a house move in with each other and open joint savings and cheque accounts. We have been open with each other and neither of us have any skeletons in our closets in relationship to new and different life style practices. So I thought anyways. Went to a theatre performance last Saturday night and during intermission I went to the bathroom and was approached by a older well dressed man who looked like he was made of money. He said he was or had been a close acquaintance of Amanda in the past years. So I said what do I care about that? I was now holding one to his coat lapel. He said wait I don't care about her ? He further went on to say that him and Amanda had come to this same theatre about five years ago where they had ironed out The FWB package. He went further to say he thought I was doing the same thing and just wanted to say hey you got a hot one or something like that. Thumbs up. I was yelling and saying your a liar. He quickly pulled out his I phone and showed me some pictures and my heart sunk to the floor. I recognized her and the clothing she had on. She still wore some of those tops and skirts today. Security quickly grabbed me and threw me out of the theatre. They went and told my girlfriend that I had been fighting with a man in the washroom and she came running out to see me. I said to her that I was getting into it with her ex FWB. She looked stunned and didn't say anything. I walked away and haven't seen or spoken with her in three days. What do I do cupid? Was I right to demand who this man was? I could of been charged with assault but it was dropped. I have never felt so angry in my life and I still feel this way do I have to check into the nut house? My brother bailed me out of jail and I told him the whole story. He couldn't stop laughing saying I was just a big chump. Is he right cupid? Why did I go off the deep end? I still love this women but my brother says I am a idiot. Is he right? Please help .
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female
reader, sherrig  +, writes (17 March 2013):
Your girl deserves a right to explain, but you knew she had dated others before you. You wouldn't want to date someone that was unattractive and had never dated anyone. The relationship with the other guy ended a long time ago, I'm sure if she wanted to continue with the older man she would still be there. Sounds like she was into you, and deserves the right to be heard by you, not your brother. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 Ah! I knew it ! What young girl would still be wearing her tops from 5 or 6 years ago :).It HAD to be a fabrication.
You need to watch your temper though, as you've seen it could get you in big trouble for nothing. Do follow scrupolously those anger management classes, and let's hope they " take ".
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 March 2013):
 You got so mad that you assaulted someone and got thrown in jail because of a past love life?? What was the point of it? Why do you care about this past guy with old pictures? He was obviously getting his ego off by riling you up, meaning your girlfriend was right to throw him out of her life. I'm guessing this old FWB did that to hurt your girl. Looks like it worked.
So you need to calm down. What kind of future will you have with a criminal history of assault? And why are you considering buying houses and joining money without the legal protection of marriage?
Slow down. You can't do anything if you have a hair-trigger temper. And don't get ahead of yourself. She's faithful to you. You have a past, and so does she. Don't let some stupid prick rile you up just to emotionally punish your girlfriend, because he was attacking your girlfriend through you, and it worked! The man is pathetic, and you fell for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question I want to thank you people for trying to help me and appreciate your concern. After I got out of jail I did contact my girlfriend because I was quickly arrested before I could tell her anything more than the stupid statement about her x FWB charge. Hey I was wrong and I never cried in my life before but I did this time and couldn't stop for
while she picked me up and kissed me and said that she still loved me and said it would be alright. She went to the police station the next day and based on my description of this man she went to file stalking charges against him. She never knew him or had any relations with him. It appears the pictures taken of her wearing these clothes were only in the summer when she was on the balcony of her old apartment going back just prior to us meeting. To make this short the judge bought it also. I just had to pay the damages in the theatre and the police are still looking for this creep for providing a false name and address. One last note: I am taking anger management classes and if the court is satisfied with the progress there will be no criminal record held against me. Thanks again cupid. You people are great.
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female
reader, White_Lilly  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 I think I also agree with Tisha.
I hope that it works out for you though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2013): Cut your losses and move on. I doubt you'll get over it based on your reaction. You could have been charged with assault. I don't think that woman is safe around a guy with a short fuse like you. Everyone has a past. That jerk was doing everything he could to push your buttons and soil your girlfriend's reputation. She moved on and he's resentful of the fact.
In any case, neither of you will work out after your violent reaction; based on jealousy and hearsay from some total stranger. You don't even know where he got the pictures or when they were taken. Before you find a new girlfriend, I suggest you get anger management therapy. I don't think any woman is safe around a guy with a temper like yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2013): i think you over reacted...and need to talk to her about her past so nothing else surprises you.
there's nothing wrong with learning she's no perfect angel...who ever is?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 March 2013):
 Maybe Amanda has a creepy stalker? I mean, the guy has pictures ready to go on his iPhone? Really? I have an iPhone and the oldest pictures on it date back about a year. Eventually the phone memory capacity is reached and you can't take any more pictures. So that's an odd thing, that he would have 3 to 5 year old pictures on it.
You ask if it is wrong to demand who this man was, well, no, it's not wrong to ask but then you haven't actually given her a chance to tell you if he WAS a stalker. You stormed off and went off the deep end.
If you cannot reach a level of calm to discuss the situation, well, the relationship is over, isn't it?
If you can reach a level of calm to discuss it with her, assuming she'll speak to you after the dramatic tantrum, listen to what she has to say.
You basically were with her for 3 years and in the space of a few minutes believed some guy you've never met with pictures of her in her current wardrobe, um, wouldn't you be more concerned she's being stalked or followed? That's seriously weird.
The guy's story sounds contrived and there's something fishy about the tale.
Decide if you can be calm enough to carry on a rational discussion. If you can't, just drop her from your life.
You might double-check that the charges really have been dropped. I don't think you get 'bailed out' if all charges are dropped; bail would be needed if you still have to appear in court. You might need to get an attorney and get it sorted so this doesn't go on your record. Anyone doing background searches on you will find it. It may impact your future employment or housing or finances.
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