A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a relationship question, but I hope someone on here can give me some advice.My mom works like 24/7, no joke. She's always put work ahead of everything else in life. When she'd come home she'd spend hours paying bills, and saying how expensive everything is, and that she has $20 for lunch and that's it. For years, I've kept the same clothes, avoid going to the doctor or dentist, skip eating, never going out, so that we can save some money. I recently got eye-surgery (it was a requirement or I'd go blind) and my optometrist keeps messing up the prescription. I've told them a million times, these aren't right, and they keep trying other lenses that also fail. They even got us to pay for bifocal lenses which also didn't work. I ended up moving away for school, and I asked my mom to take care of it since they want to talk to her since she paid for the glasses. SHE NEVER DID, and now it's too late to get any money back, It's about $1,000 she just threw away and doesn't even seem to care. But will tell me going to college is a waste of her money. Or that we can't afford certain things. She's been doing this for years, and I get sooooo upset over it. I've grown to have serious issues over money, and I can't stand when she does this. Please someone give me some advice, I'm really hurting.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 March 2013):
 You mom is not responsible for your education. YOU are. So I would start looking into grants, part time jobs, student loans and GET the education YOU want.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 March 2013):
 Yeah, get a student loan, go to college, and take control over your own life. You are an adult and your mom has the right to make paper airplanes out of her money if she chooses to. She had an obligation to support you until you turned 18. After that, anything she does from letting you stay at her house, feeding you, paying for college is extra.
So start taking steps toward self-sufficiency. When you graduate college, get a job, and make your own money, what your mom does with hers will be completely irrelevant to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): Well, it has come down to getting a job and/or student loans.If your mother feels work is such a high priority, how can she consider college to be a waste of money? It increases your earning-potential, and gets you out of the house on your own that much sooner!Poor mom may have reached her breaking-point after years of struggling and budgeting. If it's just the two of you, she is pushing you out of the nest. Exactly why would the doctor force you to wear glasses that don't help? They can only change the prescription so many times.Maybe they're corrective lenses that require time to adjust to. Fussiness may be a shared trait between you and your mother. Have you asked your dad for any help? Is he alive or in your life at all? If you're under 25, and in college, your mom may still be using you as a write-off on her income taxes. Remind her that as long as she uses you, you deserve her financial assistance, or it's considered fraud.Conflicts between mothers and daughters is an age-old story.The mother is considered a wretched bitch, always controlling and prying. Daughters just don't listen, and are always on a collision course with failure. We know that isn't true in 99.9% of cases. Face it, mom is a cheapo! She's tired of supporting the two of you. Maybe it's time for you to be on your own. She'll soon loose her dependent tax write-off, if she doesn't watch out! It still won't hurt for you to get part-time work,young lady!As long as she holds the purse-strings, there isn't much advice we can give, accept to try to get along. She isn't likely to change, and she knows it's only a matter of time that she won't be able to benefit from having you as a dependent. Have you ever held a job? That time has come.Whatever you do, don't give up on your education. Go to your financial aide adviser to see what options you have.Your mom may be exhibiting some mild signs of a mental disorder; or reaching hormonal change of life. Menopause is hell for some women.I'm sorry you're left dealing with it alone. If he's still in your life, call your father! A job is still the final option.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 March 2013):
 According to the heading of your submittal, your age is "22-25".... For many/most of us.... by that age, we are adult and not depending only (or, at all) upon our parent(s) to continue paying our way through life....
Did I miss something?
Good luck....
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