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Did he scare himself off when he nearly said that he loved me?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been dating a guy for 3 months. It has been an incredible journey, we can't get enough of each other and we have both been very open and expressive with our feelings so far, although we have not yet used the L word. This guy seems very committed and we speak and txt everyday in between meeting up. We stay together overnight between one and two nights a week and have toothbrushes at each other's houses.

About 10 days ago we were having sex and he looked at me and said: "I just love... (caught himself and looked quite shocked and mortified and then said) BEING with you". Sine that moment he has withdrawn expressing his feelings verbally to me, although his actions remains as committed as before. I felt very sad when I said that he was very special to me and he responded by saying "thank you"! Yuk.

I am currently on a two week holiday away and a few weeks ago when i mentioned the holiday he said that he will miss me and how strange it was for him to feel so strongly, yet when he said goodbye to me when I left yesterday he did not mention that he was going to miss me, but simply said have a good time and enjoy the sunshine etc.

I love him already and I am so sad at the sudden withdrawing of his verbal expressiveness and I am feeling vulnerable, worried and sad as a result.

Is this just a 3 months itch? Did he scare himself off when he nearly said that he loved me? Will he never be expressive again.. Oh this is so hard, please give me some advice?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI had a boyfriend once who it did not work out with… we kind of morphed into good FWB…. And when we had sex he would say “I love IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT” how easy it would have been for me to convince myself it was his way of telling me he loved me but that he was afraid to say it.

It’s NOT hard. YOU WANT HIM TO LOVE YOU… that’s why you make this hard. Enjoy your holiday…. And when you get home see how things stand. SEND Him a postcard btw.. something light and cute from where you are….

STOP overthinking this and trying to figure it out…

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

I think you're severely over thinking things... Besides, he might have been close to saying "I just love FU¢KING you" and maybe thought twice and changed it because he was worried you'd find it too vulgar.

Relax and enjoy your relationship. Don't manufacture drama out of thin air.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (26 March 2013):

YouWish agony auntJust give him a little space! Yeah, he nearly said he loved you, and three months may be a little too soon for that. To a guy, the L word is a sign of commitment, a bringing a relationship to the next level. He feels that love, but he wants to be sure that he is indeed that serious about you. To be patient is a good course of action.

You view love as an expression of emotions, and that's right! Just enjoy your holiday, let him think things over, and he'll come around on his own time. Sometimes, guys' emotions overwhelm them and make them feel out of control. Just be patient and enjoy the holiday.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2013):

oldbag agony auntHi

It's impossible to guess what he is feeling or thinking.Three months isn't long relationship wise but its got intense pretty quick.

My advice is to relax,enjoy your holiday,don't spoil your break.

If his actions haven't changed then why worry.

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A female reader, uzer Canada +, writes (25 March 2013):

If you love him, why not say it? It may bring him some comfort because he might be feeling vulnerable for feeling so strongly about you. That would explain him becoming so closed off.

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