Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 29 September 2013: You're marred! You should be able to talk about it.
Look at it this way -- would your wife want you to tell her if she were in public and had a piece of food stuck in her teeth? Sure she would!
Likewise, just tell her you love giving oral... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting, not getting ANYTHING for mother's day?
Q. I am the mother of two small children, four and two and this year for mother's day I didn't get anything from anyone. No one in my family and my bf of four years, the father of my children, didn't get me anything either. No card, no flowers, ...
A. 3 June 2013: That makes sense then. If his mother was so horrific, the holiday might cause him to recoil, subconsciously or consciously, because when he hears "Mother", it's not feelings of appreciation for you, it's the trauma of past beatings and horrific ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting, not getting ANYTHING for mother's day?
Q. I am the mother of two small children, four and two and this year for mother's day I didn't get anything from anyone. No one in my family and my bf of four years, the father of my children, didn't get me anything either. No card, no flowers, ...
A. 2 June 2013: Your kids are kinda young when it comes to Mother's day giving. Wait until they get into school, and then you'll start getting awesome stuff they made.
You're not your boyfriend's mom, but he could have worked with your kids to make you somethin... (read in full...)
I cant deal with this! My ex got married within 6 months of breaking up with me
Q. I am in intense emotional pain right now. I found out today that my ex got engaged and married within six months of breaking up with me. I was still pining over him and he moved on with no issue. He never informed me directly. I found out quit...
A. 2 June 2013: Sense and Sensibility remains one of my favorite books, and when you mentioned it, a quote from it came almost instantly to my mind:
"They gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that cou... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 2 June 2013: Western society is oversexualized to the hilt, especially here in the US. One of the not-so-nice side effects is that people who don't have sex are stigmatized. For a guy, "virgin" is used as a disparaging epithet and has been used as a synonym ... (read in full...)
Are my husband's threats real or a bluff? What can I do to protect myself?
Q. my husband is living in the same house as I am with his girl friend. He threatened me yesterday saying that he will not give me alimony and I will either be going back to my country or living n jaiL if I do not work and move out and he will be ...
A. 2 June 2013: OH! I forgot one more thing!
If you are sent to jail, get your lawyer to petition for house arrest/home monitoring. This means that you will be fitted with an ankle band and will be tracked, but you can go free until your court date. So no, y... (read in full...)
Are my husband's threats real or a bluff? What can I do to protect myself?
Q. my husband is living in the same house as I am with his girl friend. He threatened me yesterday saying that he will not give me alimony and I will either be going back to my country or living n jaiL if I do not work and move out and he will be ...
A. 2 June 2013: I have a friend of mine who got stung by immigration. She came with her parents and had a residency visa in high school. She graduated, got a student visa, went to college, got married and had two kids with an American guy. Her visa expired, and ... (read in full...)
Is he counting the cost, despite refusing my offers to go dutch? He now says I order pricey food all the time
Q. Hi all. I've been dating this guy for a couple of months, we both go to graduate school and work at the same time. The other day we were talking during dinner and he said that I always ordered the most expensive thing in the menú and drinks! ...
A. 2 June 2013: He doesn't see you as a financial burden. He's a typical poor college student, and sometimes when people are money crunched, things get emotionally blown out of proportion. Should he have said that? No way, and it was immature of him to do that. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend quit his job, I'm the only one working. He's angry because I bought something for myself!
Q. My boyfriend quit his job because he hated it so much. We are in week 7 of him not having a job and I don't feel that he is really making much of an effort to look for one. I am paying his mortgage (my name is not on the house) and the food for the ...
A. 31 May 2013: Yeah, I just read the OP's boyfriend's post too (wow, what a rare event!)
I stand by everything I've said here! You're not married to her, so you have no right and no entitlement whatsoever to be looking at her stuff. Her money, her credit, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend quit his job, I'm the only one working. He's angry because I bought something for myself!
Q. My boyfriend quit his job because he hated it so much. We are in week 7 of him not having a job and I don't feel that he is really making much of an effort to look for one. I am paying his mortgage (my name is not on the house) and the food for the ...
A. 31 May 2013: What??
You said "He wants me to put my name on the mortgage, however, I have said no due to me feeling that I cannot rely on him. I need him to prove to me he can get a job and pay the mortgage every week. I don't want to put my name on somethin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend quit his job, I'm the only one working. He's angry because I bought something for myself!
Q. My boyfriend quit his job because he hated it so much. We are in week 7 of him not having a job and I don't feel that he is really making much of an effort to look for one. I am paying his mortgage (my name is not on the house) and the food for the ...
A. 31 May 2013: Repeat after me:
BOYFRIEND, not husband.
BOYFRIEND, not husband.
BOYFRIEND, not husband.
You're paying HIS mortgage?! His debt? His gas for his car? And did you say that you're paying HIS mortgage? As in, you're tossing money into th... (read in full...)
How to cope with moving in with a SO.
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, I made the grave mistake of moving in with my boyfriend. In my defence, he seemed like a solid, responsible guy, and he is! He currently carries most of our financial burden. Since he is working, and I am looking for a job so...
A. 31 May 2013: You moved in with him. he didn't hire a live-in maid. You are NOT his wife, so you do not owe him dinner, laundry, cleaning, especially if your mom is helping you with groceries. That means he is NOT supporting you.
Listen, you need to swallow ... (read in full...)
Tissue problem when giving oral!
Q. I love pleasing my wife orally. However, there's often some tissue remnants. just small bits which is really off putting. Blokes, is this common? How do you deal with it in the moment? Ladies, how can I broach this with her?...
A. 31 May 2013: Oh definitely shower or use odorless feminine wipes. Toilet paper fragments would be really off-putting.
In her case, you should gently tell her about it, because the alternative would be to stop oral sex and leave her wondering what's going on... (read in full...)
Has anyone with retrograde jealousy ever come to terms with it and found peace?
Q. About 2 years ago I posted an issue in this forum about how my wife cheated on me while we were dating and how lost her virginity to another man. This was despite her telling me she would not have premarital sex with anyone until married and I ...
A. 31 May 2013: Yeah, retrograde jealousy is when someone is obsessively jealous over a partner's past sexual history from before they met their current partner. In retrograde jealousy, no one has cheated. They simply are jealous for not having been the first ... (read in full...)
Are most young guys in relationships really committed to their girlfriends nowadays?
Q. Quite a few close male friends I know in relationships don't actually seem to care about their girlfriends all that much. Or they do, but they see her as a temporary thing, and merely a girl of convenience for sex and companionship rather than ...
A. 30 May 2013: There are guys who are serious about being in a relationship, but in this case, a lot of it is timing. The ones you've heard about aren't interested in settling down yet as they're still in college and are prioritizing their degree and career.
... (read in full...)
My partner's great, but my ex has come back into the picture ...
Q. This will be long so I apologise in advance. A couple of years ago one of my very best friends became my boyfriend. He is a wonderful man who treats me better than I ever thought possible, he adores me and would do anything for me. I found it very ...
A. 30 May 2013: You need to focus on this one comment in your post:
"I had a lot of trouble getting over this man and it was in fact my current partner, who was then my friend and nothing more, who helped me get over him"
What on earth are you doing? Let's sa... (read in full...)
I feel like I will never find anyone like my ex
Q. Ok so i dated this guy for 3 years on and off and inbetween the break ups he had 3 kids and got married well recently i sent him a friend request its been 3 years since i seen him and i messaged him sayin hi . Well lately it seems like i cant stop ...
A. 28 May 2013: Nothing will make you feel older and more used up than an affair. You *are* young, but old enough to make your way into the world. Time to join today, and that means that your tastes in guys has to change along with your maturity.... (read in full...)
Should I have phone sex when I don't think we'll ever meet?
Q. I met a guy online who appears to like me, but only wants to have phone sex with me and although we live in different states, I don't think we'll ever meet. What are the chances of our ever getting together?...
A. 28 May 2013: He wants phone sex for free. He doesn't care about you. So make him pay a professional and don't do it! No one interested in an actual relationship will pressure for phone sex from the start.... (read in full...)
Attracted to a married man. He is making me feel guilty because I pulled away.
Q. I had a falling out with this man I work with. He is married. I am single. We have been friends all along but there is an attraction between us which changes the friendship aspect of the relationship into something more and potentially something ...
A. 28 May 2013: Yeah, sugarplum786 is right. Save your guilt for if you HAD gotten in an affair with a married man! You did the right thing by backing away from the fire. You are still in huge danger though, and there's a high probability that you'll still end ... (read in full...)
My wife misses her mom who lives in another state
Q. My wife and I have been married almost 21 years. We met in California, which is where we have chosen to live. However, my wife's mom is from the South. Her mom lived in other places during our marriage including Alaska, Washington, and Californ...
A. 28 May 2013: Does her mom have internet? Does your wife? A laptop? A webcam? Skype is a great thing, and so is Facebook video chat.
In this day and age, if she misses her mom, turn on the camera and chat away! My parents, even my technically challeng... (read in full...)
How do I stop being a burden to my family?
Q. Ok so I started college this semester, 3 hours away from my hometown. I've transfered schools twice already and I'm 24. I still depend on my parents and I hate it. I love my mother but at 24, been my third attempt in college, I feel guilty and like ...
A. 28 May 2013: The feeling you have of frustration is a GOOD feeling! You already know that to prove you're independent, you have to BE independent. You're starting school? You should also get a job! Maybe go to school away from home.
If you REALLY want to ... (read in full...)
I'm unable to see my friends as more than friends.
Q. Is it possible to not be able to bypass the stage of friendship with pretty much all your friends? I know some people can become lovers after friendship, especially after a long one, but I can never seem to find myself more attracted to someone who ...
A. 28 May 2013: Some of my closest relationships started out as friendships and blossomed from there, but you don't have to force anything! If you're not attracted to your friends, then don't put pressure on yourself. Maybe go on a dating site to meet people with ... (read in full...)
Is I t wrong to watch each other having sex on camera?
Q. I was wondering, i have been dating my boyfriend for a while, but we live far apart (about 5 hours. And well the other day he asked me if id watch him masturbate, cause that would really turn him on. So I did and i also took my top off. I was kinda ...
A. 28 May 2013: Oh yeah, everyone's right here. The internet is forever, and it just takes one ex with a mean streak to make you an amateur porn star with some nasty caption underneath it containing your name. Imagine what could happen if potential hiring ... (read in full...)
I feel like I will never find anyone like my ex
Q. Ok so i dated this guy for 3 years on and off and inbetween the break ups he had 3 kids and got married well recently i sent him a friend request its been 3 years since i seen him and i messaged him sayin hi . Well lately it seems like i cant stop ...
A. 28 May 2013: He got married and had 3 kids. I'd say it's definitely over, and you should leave him to his wife and stop with the contacting and the friend requests, which aren't fair to his wife and kids and definitely unfair to you.
You say you'll never fi... (read in full...)
I am so happy with my boyfriend, but his roomate/ex/best friend hates me!
Q. Hi guys! The people on this site have helped me loads in the past and I'm hoping you can help me again with your advice. I got out of a very bad LTR last year which started when I was very young, for almost 4 years I was cheated on and manipulat...
A. 27 May 2013: Something's missing here. Why is he still living with her? If the two of you have been together for 7 months, and I'm assuming that they've not been dating for longer than that, then why are they still together? That's more than enough time to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my marriage over porn...but I cannot trust someone who will look me in the face and lie.
Q. My husband knows how I feel about watching porn behind my back and lying about it. I don't like him watching it at all because I know that my body doesnt compare to those girls (after having his baby my stomach was severely covered in stretch ...
A. 26 May 2013: Many women make the mistake of feeling threatened by porn because of the bodies of the women on them. Men don't sit there and compare those bodies with his partner's and critique every flaw and wish "I so want my wife to have fake boobs and have ... (read in full...)
When we're not arguing, things are good. But he broke my heart. Is it worth it, to keep trying?
Q. I've been with my fiance 3 years. We had an argument over some petty BS. I wasn't even fighting with him, he just escalated to anger like he always does when we argue, and then says 'F**k this' or 'I'm done' and hangs up the phone, and then usu...
A. 26 May 2013: He keeps doing what he does for two reasons:
1. You let him. Breaking up is a Nuclear Event, which means that it's not undone when the feelings pass. Breaking up is supposed to be like shooting a gun, or scrambling an egg. You can't unscramb... (read in full...)
My husband being a night owl is causing problems in our marriage
Q. My husband is a night owl whilst i quite like my sleep! But the difference is annoying not only at home but socially. Like we were at a wedding yesterday and i had work the next day - i said maybe we could go home around 12. But we agreed o...
A. 25 May 2013: I agree with the others. There are plenty of successful happy marriages that have people on different clocks. I personally am a huge night owl, and my husband is not. We have fun together, and there's no pressure to conform to each other's sleep ... (read in full...)
Does my sons dad love our son or is he just hanging around for sex from me?
Q. I met my ex almost four years ago. We had known each other a few mnth and i fell pregnant. He is from africa and when i met him he had two yrs before visa ran out.we had a pretty good relationship. But the situation was hard i didnt think he wa...
A. 25 May 2013: I think you're right, but it looks like "warm hearth" syndrome to me as well. The domestic experience where he comes in, enjoys your comfort, plays daddy and feels the warmth of home and family, then leaves.
So yes, he wants sex, but he could... (read in full...)
What is appropriate? From the moment I was introduced to this woman, she has been rude and condescending to me. Do I stay home or demand he end the friendship?
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for the last year. Very early in our relationship I was introduced to a female friend/colleague of his. This woman was the partner of one of his close friends, he knew them as a couple for almost 20 years. The ...
A. 24 May 2013: No way. When I have a relationship with someone, I expect it to be drama free. If I have a boyfriend who nurtures a friend who mistreats me, and especially justifies spending hours away for a weekend with her alone in full-body hugs, I'm not going ... (read in full...)
My bf's sex drive has dropped and I am worried he may not be interested in me. Help!
Q. Hi all, I'm having insecurities about sex and my boyfriend. He's recently started a low carb diet to get more in shape. He's a trainer and knows a lot about food. He says his sex drive has dropped since he started it. We were doing it about 4...
A. 23 May 2013: I think it's a little bit of many things. First, how long has he been on this new low carb diet? And, does he take supplements like a protein shake or pills?
Low-carb diets are notorious for dropping libido in men. I'd believe him on this one... (read in full...)
Is he using me? He gives me no physical contact but wants me to buy things for him!
Q. So, I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple weeks now. So far I have bought dinners, lunch, he told me he needed sunglasses, and then that he needed rent. He doesnt have a car and have been running him up and down the road. I dont particularly ...
A. 23 May 2013: Oh you're definitely getting used. Two weeks? That's not even enough time to CALL someone a boyfriend, and money should never exchange hands between you and a guy. Not ever!
You are a meal ticket he'll drop once the well has run dry. Lose him... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pointed out a larger girl to me and said if I ever got that fat he would dump me!
Q. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for just under 4 years. At the weekend we were on a night out and he pointed out a woman on the dancefloor who was probably a UK size 14/16 and he told me if I ever get as fat as that he will dump me! Now this ...
A. 23 May 2013: Pfft. Tell him if he loses any hair or grows too much hair on his butt or in his nose or better yet, has an episode of Erectile Dysfunction, you'll dump HIM. Then look him in the eye and tell him that shallow people make you want to vomit.
You'r... (read in full...)
What is appropriate? From the moment I was introduced to this woman, she has been rude and condescending to me. Do I stay home or demand he end the friendship?
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for the last year. Very early in our relationship I was introduced to a female friend/colleague of his. This woman was the partner of one of his close friends, he knew them as a couple for almost 20 years. The ...
A. 22 May 2013: First of all, don't you ever give that woman the power to extract a single tear from you ever again. She is treating you this way because she is jealous of you, and it may not be romantic reasons. It's most likely territorial, and you are a threat ... (read in full...)
I feel like I ruined a good relationship between my family and boyfriend!
Q. hi, well i'm in this great mess. THe thing is I tend to fight and argue a lot with my family, so most of the time I'M angry with them and my dad used to allways talk shit and say really mean yhings about my boyfriend. SO yeah i ended up saying and ...
A. 22 May 2013: Yeah, you did make a pretty big mess of things, and you've now unfortunately learned a cardinal rule of serious relationships the hard way.
1. Never *EVER* badmouth your family to your boyfriend, not if you intend to be with your boyfrien... (read in full...)
So girls, would you rather have a chat and a long cuddle etc from a guy you are attracted to, or better that he not approach you at all, if he can't give you more time?
Q. Question for girls, I have quite long periods when I don't have time to date girls, due to time restraints of work and being on call there. My job requires me at times to be in the busy nightlife area. I often get signals from girls trying to get me ...
A. 19 May 2013: I have nothing against you, but I prefer sex and cuddling in a relationship that's been established. If I can read between the lines of your post, it's got less to do with your "on call" status and much more to do with the fact that you prefer ... (read in full...)
Bullying stories?
Q. i would like to know if anyone has any storys of when theyve challenged someone's behaviour that was bullying, discriminatory or insensitive. Do not use an example where the other person was simply angry or upset. Their behaviour must have been ...
A. 19 May 2013: Yeah, sounds like you dealt with a bully alright. Her motive, her standing in the company, and her method of operating fits for sure.
She played, and actually in your case she's playing on your feeling that you couldn't do anything about her beha... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to call me a different name during sex!
Q. Ok so now my Long term boyfriend has asked if he could call me by another girls name during sex. Im very uncomfrotable and seriously am thinking of breaking us up. Is this normal??? And then when I told him no he went soft during sex. Lost his hard ...
A. 19 May 2013: This would not be role play if denying his request made him "go soft". Especially if this other woman's name doesn't sound outlandish and could very well be either someone he knows or knew in real life, or someone he's watching or has watched in ... (read in full...)
Feel hopelessly bound to him. Do I just try to get over him?
Q. Began I relationship with a boy from a very young age. We lost our virginities to each other and were beyond in-love. Due to our age and him wanting to 'be a bloke' and hang out with 'his boys' and the pressure of us having to get on with our live...
A. 19 May 2013: You get over him by understanding two things:
1. First, your whole "bond" thing has everything to do with losing your virginity to him. Some women are affected more than others, but often the "first time" starts the crazy sexual bonding chemical... (read in full...)
I haven't had sex in 10 years. Will my sex drive stop if I don't have sex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in my early fourties haven't had sex in ten years of my life I was wondering will my sex drive go away if I don't hurry up and have sex.I don't use vibrators, no sex toys period I just try to keep my mind on other things like every ...
A. 19 May 2013: One of the loveliest things about sexuality is that there's no such thing as "If you don't use it, you lose it".
First, it's okay not to use vibrators or toys or whatever, but self-pleasure is one of the healthiest things you can do for your phy... (read in full...)
Bullying stories?
Q. i would like to know if anyone has any storys of when theyve challenged someone's behaviour that was bullying, discriminatory or insensitive. Do not use an example where the other person was simply angry or upset. Their behaviour must have been ...
A. 19 May 2013: Can you be more specific as to the type or context of bullying you are hoping to hear about? There are many different types ranging from the passive aggressive type to keep the one being bullied off balance to the pushy and aggressive personality ... (read in full...)
I'm a strippper, attractive and fit so why does my boyfriend still watch porn?
Q. so i am 18 years old, my fiance is 26. we have been together for a few years and we have a pretty good sex life. generally at least once a day. im just wondering why he wants to continue looking at porn when he has me. (i'm a stripper) i'm extremel...
A. 18 May 2013: Porn isn't about comparison anymore than a woman consciously sizing up her partner in comparison to the vibrator or her fingers or any other solo sex relief tool. Like a vibrator or steamy romance novel stimulates a woman, sexual images stimulates ... (read in full...)
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