A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently got back together with my ex-boyfriend. We both realized that we loved each other and after trying to date other people we decided to give it another shot. The first time we broke up was because I had cheated on him, so he has been trying to trust me again. Recently I had an abnormal pap smear result and it turns out I have HPV, and I told him I have it. He wants to know if I used to use condoms with past partners. Is that really something he needs to know?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 March 2013):
 Wow...
not sure he's asking the right questions.
to me the thing would be.... both of you have blood work with a full sexual panel (and a PAP to show the HPV)
both share the results with each other
what happened in the past is the past and really should not be held against you unless it impacts on him now.
IF your tests show you have active HPV then use condoms now.
Using condoms may not prevent HPV.
from the CDC
http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm
"Anyone who is having (or has ever had) sex can get HPV. HPV is so common that nearly all sexually-active men and women get it at some point in their lives. This is true even for people who only have sex with one person in their lifetime."
"•For those who choose to be sexually active, condoms may lower the risk of HPV. Condoms may also lower the risk of developing HPV-related diseases, such as genital warts and cervical cancer. To be most effective, condoms should be used with every sex act, from start to finish. HPV can infect areas that are not covered by a condom - so condoms may not fully protect against HPV."
so even if you used condoms you could have gotten HPV
FWIW I have had two abnormal PAP smears over the years (before I was a swinger for those that know my history and may want to blame it on the lifestyle) Both showed "cells consistent with HPV" (and both before the HPV vaccine was even available)
I asked my gyn about this at the time and his comment was "You may have HPV or just have cells that look like HPV"
they did a procedure called LEEP to remove the cells and I then tested clear both times.
I've had clear PAP exams since. Current doctor states: "you probably had HPV at one time but your body cleared it which is actually common"
My understanding is that most adults my age have had or have some form of HPV...
again from the CDC website:
" In most cases HPV goes away by itself before it causes any health problems, and most people who become infected with HPV do not even know they have it."
"HPV is so common that nearly all sexually-active men and women get it at some point in their lives. This is true even for people who only have sex with one person in their lifetime."
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (14 March 2013):
 Yes it is something that he has to know - you had unprotected sex with other men then had sex with him putting his health at risk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2013): He has the right to ask.
You have to right to say you dont want to discuss it.
But you DO NOT have the right to lie or mislead him about the answer to the question. Either tell him the truth or don't tell him anything.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 March 2013):
He has the right to know and you have the right not to tell him.
I'm sure he's asking because he wants to know if you are a sexually responsible person.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 March 2013):
 I don't see how that's anything that will help him. You have HPV, so what more needs to be said? Even if you did wear condoms, there's a chance of passing the virus. Abstinence is the only 100% way to avoid it. Before your test, you didn't know.It's possible that your guy gave it to *you*. He dated others as well.Tell him to get himself tested.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 March 2013):
 i think that if you're working to build up trust with him again, you pretty much need to be honest with him about everything. so yes, i think you should tell him.saying "it's none of your business" will definitely not help him build back trust in you. besides, you wound up with an STD. so yes, it's definitely his right to know.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (13 March 2013):
 yes of course it is, if you intend to have sex with him he needs to know anything which involves unprotected sex. If you pass anything on to him it wont be a surprise if he hits the roof . I would never have unprotected sex unless married myself. but yes you need to tell him.Mandy x
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