I'm worried by his taste in porn
Q. Hello, well I been with my boyfriend for 8/9 yrs we have 2 kids and very active in this relationship as far as intimacy and time together. I'm 31 he's 33 I'm white he's black. Well here it is, he watches nothing i mean nothing but ebony granny porn. ...
A. 20 June 2014: If he's never cheated, then he hasn't betrayed your trust.
I think he's telling the truth when he talks about the site opening up chats and stuff. Many free porn sites throw pop-ups to freewebcams or fetish sites involuntarily.
Believe it or... (read in full...)
I'm worried by his taste in porn
Q. Hello, well I been with my boyfriend for 8/9 yrs we have 2 kids and very active in this relationship as far as intimacy and time together. I'm 31 he's 33 I'm white he's black. Well here it is, he watches nothing i mean nothing but ebony granny porn. ...
A. 18 June 2014: Who cares? Porn is fantasy and not real. He may be attracted to older women, so what? There are many other types people are attracted to.
The point is - you're reality. If he's showing love to you, and your sex life is good, then there's ... (read in full...)
Why would he say, "in another life, we would have been inseparable"?
Q. Can someone help me understand? I'm just getting to know this guy and our relationship is growing by the day. But he said something really odd and I couldn't reply except say "oh ok" because I didn't really understand. He said "I think in another...
A. 18 June 2014: Maybe in the UK, that means something different, but when I hear "in another life", it means he's not able to be in a close relationship. I felt that way when I was 19 and got into a car accident (was rear-ended), and after giving the particular ... (read in full...)
Why would he say, "in another life, we would have been inseparable"?
Q. Can someone help me understand? I'm just getting to know this guy and our relationship is growing by the day. But he said something really odd and I couldn't reply except say "oh ok" because I didn't really understand. He said "I think in another...
A. 18 June 2014: Maybe in the UK, that means something different, but when I hear "in another life", it means he's not able to be in a close relationship. I felt that way when I was 19 and got into a car accident (was rear-ended), and after giving the particular ... (read in full...)
Have you ever run into your significant others ex-girlfriends and you actually like them
Q. I don't know if this is normal or not. I run in the same social circles as my significant other's ex-girlfriends that he has been intimate with before he met me. It's next to impossible not to run into them at some point, some even on a daily...
A. 18 June 2014: She's probably very cordial and charismatic, and there are plenty of times where exes may be very likeable.
However, what is this woman's character? Did she break up this marriage because they were cheating? If so, be very wary. I know some wom... (read in full...)
Was the choice I made cowardly or sensible?
Q. A few nights ago, I took my girlfriend out to eat. It was about 1:30 in the morning when we left home, and yes there are restaurants open at that time. I've never personally been to the place but my friend recommend it with high praise. We were on ...
A. 18 June 2014: Is your girlfriend stupid?!? You live in the US, which means that unless your state is Alaska (I don't think so, because your wording sounds like you're from the South), there's no reason for anyone to be wearing a hoodie in 90 degree temperatures ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is hurtful and neglectful and I'm feeling really down about the relationship
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He just doesn't care about me anymore. He just told me 2 nights ago he loves me, and I believe in some weird way he does but he doesn't show it anymore. He hardly texts, hardly calls and hardly wants to spend ...
A. 18 June 2014: What do you mean by "go missing"? After 4 years, that should be impossible, right? You know where he works? You know where he lives? You know what he does with his free time and where he likes to spend it?? Sounds like you do, or I'd be ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I can't compete with her ex who just bought her a car
Q. This is probably gonna be a long story, but here goes: I recently graduated from college and moved back to my hometown. Between having a full-time job and not having many friends that still live here anymore, I decided to make an effort to date u...
A. 17 June 2014: If I hadn't read the follow-up post, I would have thought she had accepted the car as well, in which case I would have verbally flayed her character in my reply.
However, she refused the car, and I can tell you this from personal experien... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my boyfriends female friend?
Q. So about two months ago my boyfriend (and his brother) met this girl in his degree. I know he tried to set her up with his brother, but it never came to anything. Anyway I guess they see each other around, they're Facebook friends and she has his ...
A. 16 June 2014: Oh wait...just read your followup. He met up with an ex behind your back?? That is not cool at all and it changes my thoughts on the matter.
This guy shouldn't be laughing off your concerns. He should be actively doing all he can to rebuild ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my boyfriends female friend?
Q. So about two months ago my boyfriend (and his brother) met this girl in his degree. I know he tried to set her up with his brother, but it never came to anything. Anyway I guess they see each other around, they're Facebook friends and she has his ...
A. 16 June 2014: I don't see any danger in this friendship between him and this woman. I *do* see the danger in your snooping. It erodes trust to invade your partner's privacy as well as to act inappropriately. He hasn't crossed a boundary with you, but you're ... (read in full...)
Gambler lies about gambling, what else is he lying about?
Q. My husband travels and has a gambling issue. I've already took out a 70000 second mortgage to pay off his credit cars before we were married. After we were married he continued to gamble several thousands dollars of our money. He said he was ...
A. 16 June 2014: That $70,000 credit card debt -- what did he say that was from??? What made you override all notion of common sense to pay off that kind of debt for him, especially by putting the asset of a house on the line for it??
It has nothing to do with ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my married best friend
Q. I am in love with a married women who happens to be my best friend. we have had a kiss and have had some touching but then we plan things and then when her and her husband have an argument she tells him. he is too forgiving but last time when we had ...
A. 16 June 2014: You and she are not best friends. You wouldn't truly do that to a best friend. You are her guy on the side. I'd say that you were her dirty little secret, but she takes the cruelty a step further and tells her husband that you two were kissing ... (read in full...)
My father died and my husband has been unkind on Father's Day
Q. My husband has always been difficult. One moment supportive, the next very much not. Having had a dreadful year dealing with two cancers, radiotherapy and chemotherapy, to top it all my father has just died. Today has been very hard, Father's d...
A. 16 June 2014: I lost my father in this past year as well. Today is hard for me because I want to call my dad, tell him I love him, and wish him a happy father's day.
You've been through a lot. Cancer, death in the family, and it's stress beyond stress b... (read in full...)
I'm utterly ashamed of my drunken behavior in front of my ex and his girlfriend!
Q. Im so ashamed and embaressed. So lastnight I went to a friends birthday party. My ex from a very long time ago was there. I had drunk quite alot and I was flirting outrageously with him. Then later on in the night his girlfriend arrives. I did not ...
A. 15 June 2014: You've been posting here for 6 years, so I went back and did some reading, and this sort of thing isn't new to you, though I think this time you took it to a level that even shocked you. I do not think you're over this guy. You may have restraint ... (read in full...)
I was stood up - was it necessary?
Q. Hi everyone! I recently met a guy online and we'd been chatting for awhile. He seemed genuine and asked me to meet up with him on Sunday (last weekend). He took my number and said he'd be in touch. We arranged to meet in my town and I messaged h...
A. 15 June 2014: Given the fact that it's a week later and it doesn't sound like he had a really good excuse or any explanation whatsoever, he should be blocked, and truthfully, I wish there was an online reporting or feedback system for online dating like on Ebay ... (read in full...)
His kisses aren't as passionate as they used to be!
Q. So, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months and I'm having bit of a problem. It's about kissing. At the start he would french kiss a bit or kiss me a bit more passionately. But now, even though we kiss regularly, its never with tongue at all and I ...
A. 15 June 2014: It could honestly be anything. French kissing may not do it for him. You may have had a bad breath moment, or he may have had one. If you've gone beyond kissing and are having sex or heavy petting or oral, it's common for many guys (and many ... (read in full...)
What if he is not Mister Right?
Q. Hi everyone, i met a guy on holiday in May and we have been in contact since. I am Irish and he is from the uk. I went to visit him and we got along good. I like him and he likes me. My problem is, because this is a long distance thing that's goin ...
A. 15 June 2014: In my opinion, there's no such person as Mister Right. There's no such person as The One either, because all of that implies that there's only one person ever in the world you'll fall in love with.
If you want a family and kids and you connect ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a guy twice my age.
Q. Me and a Co worker. Apart from him kissing me on the cheek at a party, a long lasting hug and teaseful poking and podging or hitting thats our physical interaction. A year and a half, he became my friend and i trusted him alot. we fell out as i to...
A. 15 June 2014: This 48 year old guy is really really bad news, and you will mess up your life if you keep pursuing him. I read everything in your post twice, and this is the sentence that matters above all others:
"He will tell my friend he is now separate... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship. How do people actually find no-strings sex?
Q. Call me Curious, I have been pondering this for quite awhile, males, females: "Am I the only one who wants sex? If not, how come it seems this way even becoming a new adult?" Here's some background, I'm a laidback guy who can get a lady god knows ...
A. 14 June 2014: So you want no strings sex without looking for a girl who also wants no strings sex? I'm a tad bit confused. Why was your first time sorrowful and shameful? Was it because she wanted something more, but you didn't, and you felt bad ditching her ... (read in full...)
My nude modelling job went horribly wrong, the photographer now has graphic pics of me and I'm afraid of the repercussions
Q. Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked ...
A. 14 June 2014: Oh yeah! If he's defrauded you, paid you $15 (sorry, I don't have a pound sign, but it's pathetic in any denomination :|), you should call the police and press charges against him big time. Talk to your friends and get that done. Your condition ... (read in full...)
I really want to leave but I have no money and feel trapped in this marriage
Q. I have been with my partner for five years. We have a 3 year old son together, my partner works full time, i work part time (i don't earn very much) but my partner is the one who brings in all the money and pays most bills (i do help out too). I am ...
A. 14 June 2014: Yep, get away from him to your family (mother, father, sister, brother, good friends) and divorce him in the courts. Spousal support is still there in the UK, so talk to your husband through the courts when it comes to custody and support. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant again by the ex who abandoned us before
Q. ive met up with an ex boyfriend who doesn't remember me (he doesn't know my last name because I haven't told him and if I say what it is he will remember me and I haven't spoke to him about kids)we have 1 child already he doesnt bother with I had ...
A. 14 June 2014: I think you may need professional help here, because someone who was in control of their faculties wouldn't make the decisions you have. I don't know how we can advise you because you've already made the decisions. We could tell you to go after ... (read in full...)
My husband is masturbating ALL the time!
Q. My husband is masturbating ALL the time. He does it 3-4 times a day during the work week and more on weekends. We will just be sitting there enjoying a movie and I'll look over and he's doing it. We have sex regularly. We've had it four times this ...
A. 14 June 2014: I'm with the others. He is over-masturbating, and it's gone beyond just desire, but has gone into compulsion and addiction. If I were guessing, he's fondling you like that because his body is in sexual exhaustion and he's needing more stimulus to ... (read in full...)
My nude modelling job went horribly wrong, the photographer now has graphic pics of me and I'm afraid of the repercussions
Q. Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked ...
A. 14 June 2014: Yikes! I read this and just shuddered. That was one of the most sleazy, disgusting things I have heard of in quite a while. This guy was definitely horning in on you the entire time. Professional nude photographers don't even act close to that. ... (read in full...)
Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me?
Q. Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me? I'm so upset. So my boyfriend has been away studying for a year now and his friend came back and I had bought him his birthday present so I met up my bfs friend and his gf t...
A. 14 June 2014: So...*He* passes an insult to you, and then has the nerve to act all insulted when you call his friend (read: HIM) out on his hurtful comments?
I stand by my former advice. Your boyfriend was the originator of those comments and used his friend a... (read in full...)
Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me?
Q. Why did this guy say such horrible things to my boyfriend about me? I'm so upset. So my boyfriend has been away studying for a year now and his friend came back and I had bought him his birthday present so I met up my bfs friend and his gf t...
A. 13 June 2014: I agree with Honeypie about that being a possible answer. I also have a theory as well that's different but still in the spirit of Honeypie's thoughts on this:
Have you ever seen little kids in a fight in elementary school or the mean girls in... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is on exchange and has become close to a male friend. Am I being oversensitive?
Q. Hi guys, just a question about a girlfriend on exchange. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years, and while we've had rocky moments, we've been fairly stable all along. Recently though, she went on exchange for 6 months wi...
A. 13 June 2014: She's with him. You should end it. At the very least, there's an emotional affair with zero boundaries (private rooms, special trips, co-owned pets), but the hammer that drives home is that she outright said she enjoys him more.
The way I see it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is refusing to get an STI test
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship although we have been friends for many years. We are trying to figure out if we want to move to the same country and make a go of things and will plan to spend a month together soon. My problem ...
A. 12 June 2014: STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Do not touch him or let him touch you. He "can't" use condoms? He's not even protecting himself, and don't let his pressure cause you to crack. Break up with him before he pulls that crap. He could be HIV positive or have ... (read in full...)
What should I ask for as an entry level salary?
Q. I'm graduating from college soon and applying to starting positions like Sales Coordinator, Executive Assistant, etc. I don't mind my first job not being ideal; I just want to gain experience and look better on paper. I have only worked in food ...
A. 12 June 2014: There's no way anyone could answer that without knowing which country you're in, and which state/province within that country you live in. Cost of living makes salaries vary.
Check out salary.com and payscale.com which will take into account ... (read in full...)
My wife is worried I'm going to act like our vacation is spring break
Q. Me, my wife and step-daughter have a trip planned to Cancun next month. I am 61, very young at heart, and my wife is 51, much more reserved than I. I am extremely concerned about this vacation due to the fact my wife seems to think that I want to ...
A. 11 June 2014: You can't compensate for your wife's insecurity. You have a vacation same as her. You know you're not going to cheat on her or act in any way unfaithful to your marriage.....unless, have you cheated on her in the past??? Is her fear based on ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend slept with my ex's sister before we met and kept it secret for 2 years. Am I right to be upset?
Q. I live with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. I am 38, he is 41. I have a young daughter and he has 2 young daughters, both from previous relationships. He wanted to marry me and we loved being a blended family together. We have been arguing alot though ...
A. 9 June 2014: The only time someone has a "right" to know about sexual history is if their partner is continuing a friendship with them. If a girl has a male "best friend" or likewise a guy has a female "best friend", the partner *does* have a right to know ... (read in full...)
I'm getting fed up with my boyfriend.
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. It's always the same pattern, and I am getting fed up. He has Bipolar Disorder. I know he can't help that, but I have been with him for almost three years, and things aren't going anywhere. ...
A. 9 June 2014: Ugh. Time to drop him. You're no therapist, and no diagnosis justifies verbal and emotional abuse. Get out while you can.... (read in full...)
He said he liked me, yet turned me down! What now?
Q. Hiya So I asked out this boy as a week before he said he liked me and I told him i liked him back!! When I asked him out he said he would think about it and tell me in next lesson so i waited and got all my hopes up! The he told me that he didn't w...
A. 9 June 2014: Of course we'd take you seriously!
He may be more interested in someone else, sorry to say. Guys mature slower than girls (most of them), and it's not uncommon for guys to like more than one girl. At yours and his age, the hormones are raging c... (read in full...)
Yes, another question about men and their porn!!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for four years. Yes, I knew since the start of our relationship that he masturbated to images of hot chicks on the internet. Then, I didn't care in the least. Why? The sex we had was awesome. He wanted me ...
A. 9 June 2014: Here's a logical question:
Why would he use the words "No, he said he will leave me eventually if I am unable to let go of the past and continue to punish him for what he has done. " if this stuff isn't TH PAST??
If it's still going on, it's n... (read in full...)
I don't think the ex has a right to question our financial decisions
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My boyfriend has a child with ex wife. Whenever we spend money on ourselves he gets questioned why money was spent on us, and who paid. Recently we went away for a short holiday. His son (13) phoned and asked why he spent money ...
A. 8 June 2014: WOW. That kid, and by extension his mom, is way out of line. If your boyfriend is meeting the court-mandated obligations of support for the child (and alimony or spousal support if that exists), then he has nothing else to answer for. Even if ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my best friend I lost a baby? He went back to his ex
Q. What should I do? My best friend of right years became single and we always had feelings for each other so we decided to try it out. We had a fantastic month of dating, we were happy. And then his ex talked him into trying again. I realize...
A. 8 June 2014: If you think that what we said to you is "bashing" you, then you need to grow thicker skin. You don't get a word we've said to you. Why don't we dispense with the "you should be ashamed" and the "making me out to be a monster" melodrama. I don't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend slept with my ex's sister before we met and kept it secret for 2 years. Am I right to be upset?
Q. I live with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. I am 38, he is 41. I have a young daughter and he has 2 young daughters, both from previous relationships. He wanted to marry me and we loved being a blended family together. We have been arguing alot though ...
A. 8 June 2014: He didn't betray you by not talking about it. His past is his business. I wouldn't have cared if my boyfriend slept with an ex's sister. Stuff like that is bound to happen in social circles. It's only a matter of stress if he had done it while ... (read in full...)
I'm getting fed up with my boyfriend.
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. It's always the same pattern, and I am getting fed up. He has Bipolar Disorder. I know he can't help that, but I have been with him for almost three years, and things aren't going anywhere. ...
A. 8 June 2014: Again, what does that have to do with you?? He doesn't take care of himself, and he doesn't have the money to keep the house with food? I'm guessing that his house isn't the only place you two ever go, and that he goes to yours as well? Does he ... (read in full...)
Yes, another question about men and their porn!!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for four years. Yes, I knew since the start of our relationship that he masturbated to images of hot chicks on the internet. Then, I didn't care in the least. Why? The sex we had was awesome. He wanted me ...
A. 8 June 2014: He is a porn addict, and yes, he hasn't upheld his side of the bargain. But it's one he can't win if he doesn't get help for this addiction. That's like telling a meth addict simply not to do it anymore, or a heroin addict to stop shooting up. ... (read in full...)
Am I justified in not thinking of her as much of a friend?
Q. I texted a friend / neighbor and didn't 'sign it.' She replied 'Who is this?' which told me that she doesn't have me on her phone contacts. She texts a lot so I don't think it's that she doesn't know how to use her phone, but it's possible ...
A. 8 June 2014: So you each are married??
Yes, if she borrows your van and doesn't replace gas, then don't let her borrow it again without asking for the replacing of gas.
Otherwise, she could be acting a bit aloof with her husband nearby in case he's the je... (read in full...)
I fell in love with her, but she won't talk to me now.
Q. I fell in love with her, but she won't talk to me now. I have trust issues, insecurities, and low-self esteem. But all of it suddenly disappeared when I met this girl. This girl (Let's call her Jessica) and I are in high school where I'm a juni...
A. 8 June 2014: Oh my lord. Why on earth would you send other people screen shots of your conversations with her?? Are you insane?? Those are private conversations, and you completely violated her by doing that. Those words were meant for you alone, and you ... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend and a crush
Q. Hi reader. I'm in a situation that I would like to ask advice about. I will keep it simple. I have a girlfriend. Been together for 1.5 years. I also have a major crush with another girl at work. I don't know what to do. The crush won't go I have ...
A. 8 June 2014: I'll likewise keep it simple.
How would you feel if your girlfriend harbored a crush on another man? You'd want her to choose, right?
Well, that's where you are now. You either stay with your girlfriend, or you leave her and go out with your... (read in full...)
Yes, another question about men and their porn!!!!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for four years. Yes, I knew since the start of our relationship that he masturbated to images of hot chicks on the internet. Then, I didn't care in the least. Why? The sex we had was awesome. He wanted me ...
A. 8 June 2014: Seriously, he said that if you didn't accept his porn addiction and the lack of sex between you, he'd leave you??
I'd call his bluff on that one and throw him out. The guy has a serious porn addiction, and it has nothing to do with you. It's lik... (read in full...)
I'm getting fed up with my boyfriend.
Q. Should I end my relationship with my boyfriend?. It's always the same pattern, and I am getting fed up. He has Bipolar Disorder. I know he can't help that, but I have been with him for almost three years, and things aren't going anywhere. ...
A. 8 June 2014: Who cares what he has. Are you his therapist? He *can* help himself, even with that. He can help by managing it closely under a doctor's care. If he were to murder someone in a manic rage, he'd still have to answer for it, and if he were to harm ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my best friend I lost a baby? He went back to his ex
Q. What should I do? My best friend of right years became single and we always had feelings for each other so we decided to try it out. We had a fantastic month of dating, we were happy. And then his ex talked him into trying again. I realize...
A. 7 June 2014: Yeah, I agree with Cerberus. What kind of logic would have you NOT tell him you were pregnant and then TELL him when you lose the pregnancy? That makes no sense to me whatsoever. You don't tell a guy you're pregnant to keep him. You tell him to ... (read in full...)
Am I justified in not thinking of her as much of a friend?
Q. I texted a friend / neighbor and didn't 'sign it.' She replied 'Who is this?' which told me that she doesn't have me on her phone contacts. She texts a lot so I don't think it's that she doesn't know how to use her phone, but it's possible ...
A. 7 June 2014: Are you worried that you like her more than she likes you? It's a valid concern, but like Cerberus said, the question over texting shouldn't be the only evidence you use for this.
Why would not recognizing your phone number be considered "lazy"? ... (read in full...)
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