He only put the tip in. Am I still a virgin?
Q. I don't know if I'm a virgin or not.. Help? I was with him and he kept fingering me and tryed to make it easier for him to get it in.. Well, when he tryed to put it in It definitely hurt. He told me he only got the tip.in and that's all.. But I ...
A. 9 July 2014: Agreed. The legal definition states that penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete the act.
There doesn't need to be orgasm, nor does a guy have to go in all the way. Your hymen was damaged which caused the bleeding, and his tip ... (read in full...)
Cheated, guilt destroying an amazing relationship. What should I do?
Q. Guilt ridden, destroying an amazing relationship. What should I do? Where to begin... Over a yr. Ago, I was in a short term abusive relationship. I left him The guy tried to entrap me, hole poked in condom. I met and fell hard for my curren...
A. 9 July 2014: OP, your follow-up unfortunately didn't change my opinion on this guy. He demands you abort an ex's child, and then threatens to leave you if you turn out to be pregnant with HIS child, and demands abortion of his own kid right off the bat. ... (read in full...)
Cheated, guilt destroying an amazing relationship. What should I do?
Q. Guilt ridden, destroying an amazing relationship. What should I do? Where to begin... Over a yr. Ago, I was in a short term abusive relationship. I left him The guy tried to entrap me, hole poked in condom. I met and fell hard for my curren...
A. 9 July 2014: OP, your follow-up unfortunately didn't change my opinion on this guy. He demands you abort an ex's child, and then threatens to leave you if you turn out to be pregnant with HIS child, and demands abortion of his own kid right off the bat. ... (read in full...)
He went through so much with his ex I wonder if I'm a rebound?
Q. Please Bare with me because my story is long and detailed. Three years ago, I started working at a Psychiatric Board and Care Facility as a housekeeper. I was 18 then, from being a housekeeper, I changed linens, worked in the kitchen, drove p...
A. 9 July 2014: Oh yeah, this guy's a flake and a half.
Seriously, you both have been dating EXACTLY ONE WEEK.
You've already gone straight to sex, where he's telling you he's falling in love with you, and you BOUGHT it?! That's WAY WAY WAY too fast, not to... (read in full...)
Cheated, guilt destroying an amazing relationship. What should I do?
Q. Guilt ridden, destroying an amazing relationship. What should I do? Where to begin... Over a yr. Ago, I was in a short term abusive relationship. I left him The guy tried to entrap me, hole poked in condom. I met and fell hard for my curren...
A. 9 July 2014: There's a part of this I'm not clear on:
Did your current boyfriend tell you to have an abortion of HIS baby, or did your current boyfriend tell you to abort your ex's baby? Or did your ex tell you to abort his baby?
Because, if a current boy... (read in full...)
Is my gut warning me off?
Q. My brothers best friend is my friend. He knows my family. Everyone suggest that we should date. He asked me out. He is every thing anyone would want in a guy. Cute and a great personality but I feel weird thinking if him that way. I want to think of ...
A. 9 July 2014: How long have your brother and he been friends? It may just be that you've thought about him as a brother type for so long that it's almost like that platonic brother vibe makes thinking about him in a sexual way seem a bit weird, like the aversion ... (read in full...)
My B/f waits for me to fall asleep after sex and then proceeds to masturbate!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in a one year long distance relationship with my boyfriend we love about six hours away and we see each other about once every two months. Whenever we have sex he later waits for me to fall asleep and then proceeds to mastu...
A. 9 July 2014: That's just it. It's not talked about, but there's a big uptick of guys faking orgasms. It's almost a cliche about women faking orgasms, but the thing is, the same cliche about women faking them also judges that no man ever has to fake one because ... (read in full...)
My B/f waits for me to fall asleep after sex and then proceeds to masturbate!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in a one year long distance relationship with my boyfriend we love about six hours away and we see each other about once every two months. Whenever we have sex he later waits for me to fall asleep and then proceeds to mastu...
A. 8 July 2014: No one disputes that guys in relationships masturbate. That's not the issue, and it doesn't sound like it's the issue for her either. The issue is the timing.
Maybe I'm not a guy, so I'm underestimating the refractory period here, but not to b... (read in full...)
Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?
Q. Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...
A. 8 July 2014: This is what being a grownup is. So many people go to work and hate their jobs. Others have gotten laid off and sit in their cars and cry, but they get up and soldier on because there has to be food on the table.
Being a grownup means that we ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 8 July 2014: I think you might be suffering from unresolved emotional baggage. You're starting to realize that that can be self-sabotaging in the relationship department. You can't live your life thinking all relationships will end up in getting betrayed or ... (read in full...)
My B/f waits for me to fall asleep after sex and then proceeds to masturbate!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been in a one year long distance relationship with my boyfriend we love about six hours away and we see each other about once every two months. Whenever we have sex he later waits for me to fall asleep and then proceeds to mastu...
A. 8 July 2014: You don't have to answer this on here if you don't want to, but I'm very curious to know - when the two of you have sex, do you KNOW that he has an orgasm? As in, you see the actual ejaculate? As in a used condom or...not to be gross..but if a guy ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like she didn't mind my secretly massaging her?
Q. I was at a party at a pub and two people with me was my girlfriend and her best friend. No one was drunk, only light drinking if that. I had them in either side and at times arms around both. Everytime her friend sat down she was sit very close, ...
A. 7 July 2014: Really, so eric.troy would throw a party because some other guy is "testing" his wife to see how far he could get with her? I don't think it takes being a woman to figure out the failed logic behind such a line of thinking. He may not react to his ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like she didn't mind my secretly massaging her?
Q. I was at a party at a pub and two people with me was my girlfriend and her best friend. No one was drunk, only light drinking if that. I had them in either side and at times arms around both. Everytime her friend sat down she was sit very close, ...
A. 7 July 2014: The question isn't whether or not your girlfriend's friend minded that you got a bit handsy with her, and before we go on, there's no way of knowing. The fact that she DIDN'T tell your girlfriend may not be good in your favor, because you very ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: Being polyamorous has never made a relationship stronger unless both people are entrenched in that as a sexual orientation from the start. Your boyfriend was never disposed to that orientation, and from the more I read your post, I don't think you ... (read in full...)
I am in a good relationship but still miss the moody, unpredictable ex!
Q. I am in a relationship of 2 years with a wonderful man. Before him, I was in a stormy relationship which was bordering jealously abusive from both sides. I love my present partner. Sex is good. The problem being I have never been able to let go o...
A. 5 July 2014: Because you're masochistic?
Because you're feeling dangerously nostalgic?
Because you feel like hurting a good man who has loved, cherished, and nurtured you?
Because your ex has been contacting you and trying to drag you back into the a... (read in full...)
I love her but I feel we should break up
Q. My gf and I have been together for about 4 years and it's been mostly good. But for the past year I have been unhappy. I've tried to determine why I'm unhappy but don't really have a reason. I just am. I've told my gf about my feelings and tried to...
A. 5 July 2014: I agree with FA big time here. You have a good relationship (well, you did before you broke up with her), but because you've become unhappy, your move is to break up with her, only to find out that you're still unhappy and second guessing yourself, ... (read in full...)
I betrayed his trust by lying
Q. I am 32 and my boyfriend is 38. I love and adore him, and am certain that I want to build a future with him. I know he feels the same way. The problem is that I've betrayed his trust by lying to him a few months ago, and once again recently. The ...
A. 5 July 2014: HOLD ON A SECOND. How exactly did he find messages from you to an ex? He snooped on you? How is that not a breach of YOUR trust? He needs to own that, and it's not cool to rifle through your messages and private correspondence.
And now he's... (read in full...)
How do I handle his porn addiction?
Q. This is another question about porn, but okay, here goes.. I'm 32, my husband is 34, been married since 2011, over the past few weeks he's been refusing sex. And it's all down to pornography. The "smoking gun" as it were, was a sign-up for a po...
A. 5 July 2014: One of the very first rules of a happy marriage is to NEVER assume anything! Stick with the facts, and be very specific about what you want to know from him.
The facts are that you say he's refusing sex with you over the past few weeks. The poss... (read in full...)
Can a married person having an affair have the right to accuse the partner of being deceitful?
Q. Does this make any sense or am I wrong? Here's the scenario: a single guys is having a torrid love affair with a married woman for a long time. He only sleeps with her but does socialize with other women, and men of course, from time to time, bu...
A. 4 July 2014: Why can't the single guy leave the wayward spouse and search for a new, single partner? That is the smartest option by a mile!
You know *why* the wayward spouse is upset and jealous and freaked out because the single guy is having a social l... (read in full...)
I feel foolish now that he has gone back to his wife
Q. I was seeing a separated married man for a few months. It ended a couple of months ago. He has since got back with his wife. I now feel foolish. He was already separated when we got together and had been for a year. At the time I was at rock bottom ...
A. 4 July 2014: Don't get mad at me, but I agree with Suella's statement, though I have more to say, and I'm *not* judging you! I know DearCupid has disagreeing aunts when it comes to how available a separated spouse is, and whether a separated spouse is cheating ... (read in full...)
Can a married person having an affair have the right to accuse the partner of being deceitful?
Q. Does this make any sense or am I wrong? Here's the scenario: a single guys is having a torrid love affair with a married woman for a long time. He only sleeps with her but does socialize with other women, and men of course, from time to time, bu...
A. 4 July 2014: What is boils down to is - sounds like the person who's cheating on her husband should not throw stones when she lives in a glass house, right? Otherwise known as "the pot calling the kettle black"?
It's true, you'd think that a woman who live... (read in full...)
I'm in turmoil. I love my husband, so do I stay with him or move in with my lover?
Q. I've been having an affair with a co-worker for the past 6 months behind my husband's back. I'll admit, our marriage has become a bit stale in the bedroom department, all my husband talks about is bills, paying the next bill, financial st...
A. 3 July 2014: I'm sorry, but when you described your husband's behavior, talking about financial investments, money management, sense of humor, and his love for his grandmother, my first thought was "Wow! What a keeper!". Your husband sounds awesome. Have you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me, "let me get fat and see if you want to hold me." I'm speechless!
Q. So, I'm in a relationship and I'm holding onto to something because I'm resentful. . About a month and a half ago my boyfriend told me, "let me get fat and see if you want to hold me." I was speechless at the time and didn't know what to say so I ...
A. 3 July 2014: I love it how guys impregnate their girlfriends, who gain weight during and after pregnancy because babies take 1000% of their efforts. The old saying "9 months on, 9 months off" isn't just a myth. Your baby's 11 months old. When he said "I don't ... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me to say I love him. I'm not ready. Should I call it a day with him?
Q. Basically I don't know what to do. I've been going out with a guy for a week and he's already saying how much he loves me, he knows I'm no where near ready to say it back but I feel like he's pressuring me to say it. I've tried talking to him about ...
A. 1 July 2014: This guy is not a good guy. He's pressuring you for sex. NOBODY loves someone right off the bat like that, and the fact that he's putting a lot of pressure for sex within 2 weeks of dating means that the Love stuff is to get him the sex he ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend wants me to drive him to his work.
Q. so me and my ex have broken up but its only been about 1 month or so... he says in a another relationship already like he has a new girlfriend... now he has been contacting me saying that he loves me even when we talk on the phone its love you... ...
A. 1 July 2014: GROSS! Tell him to call his new girlfriend for rides, because you are no longer in a relationship with him. He *IS* using you, and he is being cruel to the new girlfriend in his life.
Block his number and end all contact with him.... (read in full...)
Is it a compliment that my husband has been masturbating over our wedding photos?
Q. A few times I have found my wedding photo album not the way I had put it away. I solved this when I found my husband masturbating while looking at photos of me in my wedding dress. He didn't notice me seeing him doing this. I haven't told him anyt...
A. 1 July 2014: YES! I'd take it as a compliment if it were me.... (read in full...)
Just discovered my boyfriend lied about having a child
Q. I APOLOGIZE THIS IS LONG BUT I'M BEGGING FOR INPUT ON THE SITUATION My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and he is an ex army militant. In our early days I noticed he had a tattoo with a female name followed by a date which whe...
A. 28 June 2014: That to me would be a deal-breaker lie. I personally detest anyone who would lie and disavow their own child just to get some tail. I wouldn't care how long I had been with him. If he hid his own child and lied, that's hurting HER. How do you ... (read in full...)
Is she worth it? Or should I stay away?
Q. Perhaps it is my age, given that I am a sophomore in high school, or that I am just flat out stupid, but my ex girlfriend has caused issues yet again. I will not use names, so let's call her.... 'K'. And me as, 'A'. Freshman year of high...
A. 25 June 2014: Do not date another woman until you learn how to treat them.
Let me clarify using your own words:
1. "So, I told her (via text) that I am a man of morals, and will not have my lines crossed."
I seriously hope you didn't tell her like tha... (read in full...)
Is this retroactive jealousy or is it abuse?
Q. I'm not sure whether my boyfriend is suffering from retroactive jealousy or is actually a bad and possibly abusive person, what do you think? Story - we are 25 and 28, about the same number of partners (+1 for me), neither of us feels insecure, ...
A. 24 June 2014: I agree with Mark1978. This guy has retroactive jealousy, is emotionally and verbally abusing you, and he's gone obsessive about the whole thing. I wouldn't have answered his questions and refused to give him every detail of that which was none of ... (read in full...)
Who shall I choose? My long term partner? Or the married guy from work whose wife treats him badly?
Q. I've been engaged for 6 months to a man who has doted on me for the last 4 years. He literally would do absolutely anything for me. We have a wonderful life together...we always cuddle, text, call, miss each other and go travelling lots, his hous...
A. 23 June 2014: You don't have a choice anymore. You just betrayed your fiance. You've cheated and destroyed the relationship, and it's only a matter of time before he finds out. The sad part is that you betrayed your fiance by having sex with another cheater ... (read in full...)
I need him right now but he's not there for me
Q. I'm having a hard time finding a job which is really affecting me emotionally and financially. My parents are splitting up my dad moved out yesterday on my mums birthday:(. and my mum won't talk about it. He's moving in with another woman. B...
A. 23 June 2014: I'm confused as to why you complained to his friend about your relationship with him. That's oftentimes a grooming maneuver for those looking to cheat on their partners with their friends. Why not talk to your boyfriend, or complain to one of YOUR ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't let me forget my mistakes
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up last year as I admit myself that I could be insecure and I was just unhappy with myself and he couldn't take it anymore. Cut a log story short, we continued sleeping with each other with mainly me doing the chasing as I ...
A. 23 June 2014: Heh, Sage is actually right on this one. You are behaving like a doormat to this guy, when a woman in control of her life would have thrashed this guy verbally 8 ways from Sunday.
You don't get it, do you? He mistreats you, lies to you, uses you... (read in full...)
My sister is attractive. I have low self esteem problems. How can I overcome these issues?
Q. Hello I have suffered with low self esteem for years and need to get over it really! I have a sister who is beautiful, tall, slim and popular. My family always used to comment how she looked like a model and their faces would light up when sh...
A. 23 June 2014: She is not you. You aren't her. She should have nothing to do with your self-image, nor vice versa. Comparisons suck, quite frankly, because if you have self-esteem issues, you'll come up short no matter what because you've made your mind up to ... (read in full...)
I'm dating her but my gut tells me there is something amiss with her male best friend!
Q. I have been dating this single mum for about month now. Everything is going alright, obviously haven't let the child or anything crazy like that yet, but I have an issue. She has a male best mate, obviously this girl is bisexual, and this make be...
A. 22 June 2014: Your gut is correct. He's not her friend, nor does he intend to be just friends. He is in full-on pursuit mode now, and even if she's not reciprocating with him, she's being intoxicated by his attention. She could easily tell him to back off, ... (read in full...)
Why was this embarrassing for him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I hung out with this new guy the other night and as the night was winding down he walked me out to my car to say goodbye. We started making out and he.. well.... got a huge erection... pulled away and joked that he was just going to "w...
A. 20 June 2014: The only time I have ever seen a guy react like that to an erection was because his mom would shame him for any display of "lust".
Just tell him that your effect on him turns you on and that you felt the same way. I agree with the others t... (read in full...)
My husband, a veteran, has extreme anger issues
Q. I am well aware that no marriage is perfect. Mine is one example, but unfortunately, I think it has gone too far. My husband loves to spend money--two days ago he spent almost $900 on one single comic book just for the heck of it. There was th...
A. 20 June 2014: Listen. To. Honeypie! ... (read in full...)
He's a recovering alcoholic, not yet divorced from his wife and 3 months post-breakup with his girlfriend. Is it reasonable to keep dating him and see how it goes?
Q. He's a recovering alcoholic (2 years and 3 months, attends AA) He is separated for 2.5 years, not yet divorced, while he is paying his wife for the business they had together He broke up with his girlfriend 3 months ago. I have been seei...
A. 20 June 2014: Alcoholism aside, his situation with his not-yet-divorce means he has nothing to offer you, cannot make any promises, and has a lot of baggage that could be pretty dangerous to you.
If you desire a long term relationship or marriage, this isn't yo... (read in full...)
I'm worried by his taste in porn
Q. Hello, well I been with my boyfriend for 8/9 yrs we have 2 kids and very active in this relationship as far as intimacy and time together. I'm 31 he's 33 I'm white he's black. Well here it is, he watches nothing i mean nothing but ebony granny porn. ...
A. 20 June 2014: If he's never cheated, then he hasn't betrayed your trust.
I think he's telling the truth when he talks about the site opening up chats and stuff. Many free porn sites throw pop-ups to freewebcams or fetish sites involuntarily.
Believe it or... (read in full...)
Am I being a petty girlfriend?
Q. So I'm in a relationship with another woman and we both have our own places. When I stay over at her place I bring my own towels but not toiletries. If I see she's out I go buy her some. Newayz I noticed she uses the same towel for days at her own ...
A. 19 June 2014: I have to have my own towels in the house too, and if I didn't replace my husband's and son't towels as well, they'd probably keep using them until they disintegrated or something.
I like to replace mine often. Not every day, but every other da... (read in full...)
Am I being a petty girlfriend?
Q. So I'm in a relationship with another woman and we both have our own places. When I stay over at her place I bring my own towels but not toiletries. If I see she's out I go buy her some. Newayz I noticed she uses the same towel for days at her own ...
A. 18 June 2014: Actually, I think she's doing it to be courteous to you. She may have it in her mind that you are a germaphobe since you bring your own towels with you. She's being a "When in Rome" and giving respect to you and the way you do things.
I don't th... (read in full...)
I'm worried by his taste in porn
Q. Hello, well I been with my boyfriend for 8/9 yrs we have 2 kids and very active in this relationship as far as intimacy and time together. I'm 31 he's 33 I'm white he's black. Well here it is, he watches nothing i mean nothing but ebony granny porn. ...
A. 18 June 2014: Who cares? Porn is fantasy and not real. He may be attracted to older women, so what? There are many other types people are attracted to.
The point is - you're reality. If he's showing love to you, and your sex life is good, then there's ... (read in full...)
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