A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i cant sleep at night with my gf, we have been together for two years now but we are LD, we have reach a very acceptable level of comfort with each other, but i cant still pass gas in front of her, not yet. she finds it disgusting. Every night it becomes a nightmare because i wouldn't want to fart if we are in the same bed because im afraid the sound or smell may wake her up. I cant be going to the bathroom multiple times at night either, to release them, because i am specially gassy at night. The bathroom is so close to the bedroom she may hear. i get no sleep!Has anyone being in this situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 March 2014):
 See? Being honest with your partner IS the way to go. After all if you can't be honest, what kind of relationship do you have?
IF there is something nagging you, then talk to her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank all of you guys :) my gf and i were on the phone and by coincidence we touch the subject, it was a very funny conversation, we laughed a lot. she said there is nothing wrong and i shouldnt be embarrased. she was funny and sweet. however she assured me i will never see her passing wind in front of me. lol
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): All people fart yes but not in front of each other.She is right, it is so disgusting. I have never done that in front of my wife.Not in every culture it is acceptable and normal.
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A
female
reader, BlueMusician  +, writes (25 March 2014):
 Your Girlfriend overreacts, I agree with most people here that it is just a normal, bodily function, for both men and women. Hell, my boyfriend farts and burps and does all the crazy stuff a boyfriend can do if his partner trusts him to that degree. HOWEVER, I can imagine some reasons why your girlfriend just thinks farting is NOT DONE. Maybe she has some bad experiences in her past and she has some kind of phobia for farts. Maybe that phase of trusting each other with farts, going to the bathroom with your gf/bf in the same rome etc, does apply for you but NOT for her. Maybe she just isn't into toilet-humor or perverted humor. People with a certain disgust for dirty jokes, definitely won't appreciate toilet humor. Just because it's a normal function, won't mean that some people aren't repulsed by it. Tell a mentally sick person to 'Think' healthy again. it's not that easy now,is it?It's the same: Tell your girlfriend that farts are totally normal while she finds them utterly disgusting. Trust me, those thoughts of her won't pass soon. I am not saying you have to it hold in or be scared, but if she can't appreciate a normal, healthy bodily function, you might as well have a good conversation with her, figure out what has to be done (therapy in a more worse case) or in the worst case scenario: end the relationship. (You HAVE to be compatible on levels, certainly on these seemingly small levels.) Maybe you fart way more that is supposed to be normal. In that case, I agree to eating more healthy food and all. However, she still doesn't have to overreact. In a long distance relationship, the partners don't see each other that often like most couples who aren't LD. Non-LD couples will do more 'every day routine' things togethe which will stimulate accepting certain habits like farting, going to the bathroom while the other is already there, walking naked, just drinking coffee, burping, picking noses, nail biting, certain tics etc. LD couples tend to focus more on doing 'fun stuff' in the little time they have in comparison to non-ld relationships. I can imagine that during those times, these habits won't come as natural. Accepting them takes more time. It's all speculation to some degree, but I am certain that it has some amount of thruth to it. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 March 2014):
 Geeze, does she have no experience in relationships?? She had better never get married or have male children, that's all I have to say.
The fact that you're LD is interesting here - you've been together, but you haven't been. Beano is good at minimizing the gas, but otherwise, a simple "excuse me" should suffice. If she loves you, she should love all of you, bodily functions and all.
I too hate crudeness, like the "pull my finger", the pushing them out and laughing, the under the covers and then shoving the partner's head under the covers crap, but what can you do?? I grew up with brothers who thought it was hysterical, and I have a husband and son who find it funny. They say "excuse me" when I'm there, so I'm okay with it, I just pretend to be disgusted and offended, which they find even funnier.
If she can't handle the fact that you're human, then she's not ready for a relationship. Being discreet (there's a difference between passing it and raising a cheek and blasting it with a grunt) and saying "excuse me" is fine. Don't let her fool you! We women have perfected the "silent but deadly" approach all of our lives. I stay away from cauliflower when I have to be out in a formal situation.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 March 2014):
 What else is she squeamish and precious about? Girls have flatulence too. Almost as often as men. Good Advice from SVC on your diet. Plus if you are stressed you are also more likely to have the flatulence. So tell her that her stressing over it is not helping.Here are the facts on how much men do it and how often women do it. Yes Men a tiny bit more, but the women experience it too. Even babies pass wind.She needs to chill and to stop making out that she is far too ladylike to pass wind. Because she does, and regularly.If she loves you then she loves all of you. Burps, coughs, and yes even episodes of flatulence are completely normal.Just get your stress levels down and if she still complains allow her to read this from an experience conducted by a Doctor:http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Oz-Answers-Mens-Health-Questions/11
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 March 2014):
 See, http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-can-i-do-about-my-bfs-extreme.html
I guess there are people everywhere who have problems with normal bodily things. I would say such an extreme reaction to gas would pretty much preclude any intimate relationship.
FA
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (25 March 2014):
 Passing gas is normal, and I'd say there was something wrong with your relationship if she couldnt get over a couple of farts at night.
HOWEVER I would suggest that if you have a lot of gas at night, then your diet is to blame and you should change it. My boyfriend used to be the same (I do find it gross but I get over it, simply because its really not worth getting upset about). He changed his diet to reduce the amount of carbs he eats, he now eats much healthier and subsequently he doesnt fart anywhere near as much as he used to. Whenever he eats something unhealthy (like a takeaway or go out for dinner) the farting returns showing just how closely linked gas is to your diet.
So try eating better and that will go a long way to fixing this, and stop worrying so much - if she loves you then she wont trouble herself with something so unimportant as farting. If she does get upset about it then clearly she has some issues of her own that need resolving - there really are more important things in life than farts!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2014):
 I gotta agree with Honeypie here... and I would dispute that you have "reached a very acceptable level of comfort with each other" if after two years you still have to "hold your farts"
EVERYONE passes gas. It's a normal natural body function. Some of us are more active about it than others. I wish my husband was MORE discreet about it but I don't expect him to hold his farts all together.
A couple of things:
if you are very gassy then it might be necessary to investigate your diet. Milk or carbs can cause lots of gas.
Something like Beano may help in that area if you do not wish to change your diet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2014): All people fart, even her - it's human nature, and she must do it too. Does she expect you not to fart? Or just do it away from her? I've been with my guy for 4 years and he always does it in front of me. Tell her that it's human nature and you can't help it. If she really really hates it you could even buy an air freshner spray or go to the bathroom... but after being together so long it would be good if you guys could talk to each other about it. It doesn't have to be a serious conversation - my boyfriend teases me because he's never heard me fart lol
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2014):
Tell her.
Passing gas is normal, SHE FARTS too, you know?!
I think what she really dislikes is people who think "dutch oven" or "pull my finger" are vulgar and gross, but normal farts? What can you do it,s a ABSOLUTELY normal body function and if she thinks HER farts smell like roses she either can't smell anything or she is in denial.
I'm sorry if you can't pass gas in her presence, she is being ridiculous.
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