I caught him talking sexually with other men but he denies it!
Q. I need help! I have caught my boyfriend (for the second time) talking to men sexually. We are happy (or so I thought). we've been living together for over a year. He denies everything, i even sent the "mystery man" an email, he says they never ...
A. 24 July 2014: Listen to me very carefully... if he was talking sexually to other women and you verified that by talking with the other woman, would you even DREAM of saying to him "I wouldn't think differently of you"?! Of course not! You'd be devastated, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has baby mama drama and I'm being pushed aside
Q. I am dealing with some baby momma drama. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. We really love each other and talk about a future together. We are both professionals....im a resident physician and he in school to ...
A. 24 July 2014: You said: "The cash flow from his doctor girlfriend is about to end." What?! He's been using you for money??? Wow. He really *IS* playing you. As soon as relationships start getting financial with loans, payments, "borrowing", "supporting", ... (read in full...)
Can alcohol really cause people to blackout?
Q. Hello I was wondering as people claim they had a blackout after drinking excessively and didn't know what happened, is it real or just a way to avoid embarrassment? I have actually never had a blackout or a moment even with extreme drinkin...
A. 24 July 2014: I agree with Honeypie and the others. Tell her what happened, including that you didn't and would never take advantage of someone that intoxicated. She's most likely looking at you that way possibly out of embarrassment wondering if she did sleep ... (read in full...)
Can alcohol really cause people to blackout?
Q. Hello I was wondering as people claim they had a blackout after drinking excessively and didn't know what happened, is it real or just a way to avoid embarrassment? I have actually never had a blackout or a moment even with extreme drinkin...
A. 23 July 2014: Absolutely they can happen, as can "gray-outs", meaning you only remember snippets of a block of time. I've had one blackout when I was a teenager after playing a stupid drinking game involving Everclear and Grape Kool-Aid.
From what I've hea... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has baby mama drama and I'm being pushed aside
Q. I am dealing with some baby momma drama. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. We really love each other and talk about a future together. We are both professionals....im a resident physician and he in school to ...
A. 23 July 2014: After your follow-up, I'm even much more convinced that you're being played. To everyone he's not letting you meet that's in his life, I bet anything that they think she is his girlfriend. Have you been allowed on his Facebook or have you seen ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has baby mama drama and I'm being pushed aside
Q. I am dealing with some baby momma drama. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. We really love each other and talk about a future together. We are both professionals....im a resident physician and he in school to ...
A. 22 July 2014: Something's off on this one. He has no lawyer and isn't dealing with custody issues and child support? She has no right to deny his visitation. If she is violent, why didn't he call the police on her and show the wrecked television? Why didn't ... (read in full...)
It's not that he's cheap, but he resents my paying for a housekeeper
Q. Started living with my boyfriend and he expresses his negative opinion about my housekeeping methods. Basically I really can make myself do all the housework and i don't want him to do it also. He grew up in a household where his mother stayed home ...
A. 22 July 2014: That makes a tiny bit more sense then. He *says* he's not making you pay rent, but there's that unspoken thing that says he wants you to pay rent anyways...by contributing to the housework and stuff. That's why he's wanting you to cook, clean, ... (read in full...)
How do I keep from being a slut?
Q. I fell for this guy when I was 15, and we broke up when I was 17. I'm 19 now. When we were together I was so happy, he was my first kiss, first love and on my 17th birthday I gave him my virginity. A couple weeks later he broke up with me. For the ...
A. 21 July 2014: You're not a slut, and the fact that you're able to tie your rejection from the guy who you gave your virginity to with this whole issue you're dealing with is actually half the battle, so you're on your way!
Here's the thing - your ego took a h... (read in full...)
My girlfriend loves penis-jokes, but I am feeling hurt by them!
Q. Hi there, I am in a horrible situation where my anxiety over penis size is ruining my life. I am a 30 year old guy and am not someone to believe in the usual pressures of society, in fact I think they are immoral and insensitive. Nonetheles...
A. 21 July 2014: What does your girlfriend *say* exactly that has you upset? You weren't clear about that, so it's hard to tell you how to react to it.
There is one thing you said I need to address very directly. You said this:
"I feel that the penis is at ... (read in full...)
Why would a girl that I hurt so much want to meet up after a couple years just 'to see how things were'?
Q. Please advice on this would be great!! I don't want to be swayed by the lads incase I'm wrong and do something stupid again. I dated this girl for a while just over 2 years ago, a long time now and she didn't know how strong my feelings for her...
A. 21 July 2014: Okay, so two years ago, you were immature (your words), you panicked and flaked out on her. Are you still the immature flake you were 2 years ago? You write about what happened as if you regret what you did. So the real question is - is it true? ... (read in full...)
It's not that he's cheap, but he resents my paying for a housekeeper
Q. Started living with my boyfriend and he expresses his negative opinion about my housekeeping methods. Basically I really can make myself do all the housework and i don't want him to do it also. He grew up in a household where his mother stayed home ...
A. 21 July 2014: My mom was very big on the worth of a woman in housework. She was a clean freak who I'm not kidding...WHITE GLOVE inspected our work after we cleaned our part. It took most of our Saturday to clean the house and all of the animals my mom loved ... (read in full...)
She took my virginity and now she's all cold?
Q. So... Sort of a long story. I'm a 19 year old male and up until recently had been a virgin. Wanted to lose it to someone I care about. Well, I've been falling for this girl for a while, she knew the situation and was falling for me, but had a lo...
A. 21 July 2014: The problem boils down to the fact that you were her strange on the side. She has a live-in boyfriend and was cheating on him with you. Relationships like that do not go anywhere. She wanted a diversion - a conquest on the side, and that was you. ... (read in full...)
Is there really ever a good time to break up with someone?
Q. I've been dating someone for 3 months who has started to get clingy and needy. He's a very nice man and has many wonderful qualities but he is way more into this relationship then me. I'll give some examples of his needy behavior: He tex...
A. 20 July 2014: Sounds like he found someone who wanted connection as much as he did. May they both live happily ever after!
My best friend from high school married 9 months after meeting her husband, and they dated for about 6 months until they married.... (read in full...)
I miss the "old him" so much
Q. I'm so torn, do people change or is it a case of a leopard never changes it's spots? Basically about 5 years ago I met this man through friends, we had a lot of friends in common and always seemed to be at the same events. I had a boyfriend though a...
A. 20 July 2014: You need to get the notion of "old him" out of your head once and for all. When you two were just friends and starting out, you didn't know him on the intimate level that you did when you two started getting closer.
He made some decision... (read in full...)
I want to be doubly sure that my behaviour around my baby sister is appropriate
Q. Okay so I am female and 13 years old, and she's still just a little one, six months old. I was wondering if it is appropriate to kiss your little sister on the cheek/forehead? We had a family member living with us years ago that attempted to molest ...
A. 20 July 2014: Of course it is okay to kiss her on the forehead! I'm really sorry about what happened to you in the past. Kissing on the forehead or cheek is quite alright and is a tender and innocent expression of love and caring, and is very healthy for you ... (read in full...)
It's not that he's cheap, but he resents my paying for a housekeeper
Q. Started living with my boyfriend and he expresses his negative opinion about my housekeeping methods. Basically I really can make myself do all the housework and i don't want him to do it also. He grew up in a household where his mother stayed home ...
A. 20 July 2014: This sure does sound like a compatibility issue, both with his focus on traditional gender roles in a partnership, and with the vegetarianism.
First of, if you are living as roommates, he shouldn't have a thing to say about your finances, as long ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who uses a wheelchair? Or consider it?
Q. Just curious. Because I use one but it seems that most people are really weary of it and I think a lot of them think wheelchair-users are a no go when it comes to dating, or even friendship. I'll be honest and say that making friends has been...
A. 20 July 2014: I'd date someone in a wheelchair if I were single. My aunt dated a guy who was in a wheelchair, and they eventually married, staying married until he passed away. She always still calls him the greatest love of her life.
... (read in full...)
I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 20 July 2014: I'm not even a scotch drinker, and now I'm curious!
Though, I've had Cristal and thought...ehh.
(Sorry, back to the subject at hand!)... (read in full...)
Why are some younger guys physically attracted to older women?
Q. When you write that question on google, you get a lot of answers such: having their life together, being more self-assured, more open sexually, etc etc, but I was wondering how some younger men find bodies with signs of aging attractive, what do ...
A. 19 July 2014: You should do a quick search for the top searched porn terms by country, and you'll find that the terms "granny", "mature", "old", "cougar", "mom", and "milf" are right up there with teen and college, revealing that the attractions of guys aren't ... (read in full...)
Why are some women so insecure when it comes to porn?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for the last five years. We met in high school and pretty much hit it off right away. We became instantly close from then and although we have our own share of problems, porn was never one of them. We have b...
A. 19 July 2014: You are very lucky you have a girl who is sexually compatible to you at this level. This means you never have to hide it or come up with lies or hide your hobby to protect her feelings. Some statistics state that women make up about 1/6 of the ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 18 July 2014: What?! She saved herself for marriage! How much better could you have it?! There *is* no double standard unless you decide that you *want* one. In fact, I've seen where people like her who saved herself and didn't have intercourse casually would ... (read in full...)
I told my porn-addicted fiance that if he looked at porn again, I'm done. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and guess what?
Q. My now fiance had a porn addiction he was even looking at it at work. I basically told him if you do it again i'm done, this was over a year ago and i never caught him looking at it until now. I'm 37 weeks pregnant I looked at his phone history last ...
A. 17 July 2014: If ultimatums were all it took to stop addictions, then the world would be free from alcoholics, meth addicts, overeaters (put that cake down or we're through!) opiate addicts, smokers, and coffee drinkers. But you were reacting as if porn was a ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 17 July 2014: You have a sexual past as well. People's pasts are their pasts. If you love her as much as you say you do, then recognize that your obsession with the details of her past sex life will destroy your relationship in the present.
That would bo... (read in full...)
My parents hate my boyfriend who was also my ex...and now I'm 6 weeks pregnant. How do I break this news to them?
Q. When I was 15 I met a guy and started dating him, he was everything a parent didnt want their teenage daughter dating. Part of me liked him because he drive my parents crazy. He was older (20 yrs old) had run away from home , lived with friends,...
A. 17 July 2014: Nothing of what you have just said about the boyfriend or your parents' approval of him or any of the past matters in the face of the fact that you're going to have a baby. Unless you are terminating the pregnancy, which it sounds like you aren't, ... (read in full...)
Do you have any idea how I can work on self worth issues to make me feel like I'm deserving of love for who I am?
Q. Hi all, I have significant issues with self worth and self esteem. I have never been to a therapist to discuss thid but as I get older, I'm finding these issues are negatively impacting other areas of my life. I have struggled with eating di...
A. 17 July 2014: First of all, I'd drop a guy who would take female friends out one-on-one to bars until 3 or 4am. I don't care if they are platonic -- there *are* boundaries in a committed relationship. It's one thing to go to a concert or an event or out to ... (read in full...)
Is my online friend right to be angry that I didn't ask him for money?
Q. I have a great online friendship been going on about 18 months now, we are good friends have lots of chats and fun. Earlier this year I was out of work and he was very supportive of me cheering me up and just being there for me to chat when I was do...
A. 17 July 2014: Very interesting. I have a question for you - in the past 18 months, how much of the conversations you have with him are about him cheering you up or you talking about your problems or him giving you advice, being a good listener, or in some way ... (read in full...)
They say I would have been rocked by a tree stump. Do they have a point?
Q. OK, I had sex with a new boyfriend recently. It was our first date and he took me to the highest heaven. My friends were not as impressed. They told me my reaction was based on circumstances and looks, ie it was my first time after 23 years of ...
A. 17 July 2014: I also agree that sex should be private and personal. But since we're past that and what's done is done, I'll answer your question.
I think your friends *do* have a point. You had sex with this guy on the first date, and it's like a drink of... (read in full...)
How to control rage issues, that have cost me my marriage?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I have a big problem and was wondering if anyone can refer me to some good websites, or help me to find information on this. Basically, my husband and I got in a fight, and I hit him. This has happened before, and I went to ...
A. 16 July 2014: That's the ultimate kiss of death you know, the moment you feel you have a handle on rage. It's when things are going well that you must be on your guard, and when you are most vulnerable to an attack.
The problem with this is - your therapy ... (read in full...)
I found a receipt for perfume purchased after I went out after a row!
Q. can i have some advice please.i have been with my partner 5 years and we have a 16month son and i am 2 months pregnant with our second child. my partner is in the army so only comes home weekends, the last 2 weekends he has been so horrible to me ...
A. 14 July 2014: If it was bought today while you went out, it appears very much like a "peace offering" gift, especially if the perfume is something you usually use.
Your hormones are off the scale now, and he must FEEL himself start to take things out of you, ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 14 July 2014: Like others have pointed out, there's no changing the OP's mind, so the "advice" part for me has passed all usefulness.
I'm curious as to why the OP HASN'T already done it. The last contact was back in March, and 4 months is more than enough t... (read in full...)
How can I move on and overcome all the drama that resulted from my sister's complaint about my Bf and I having sex in my parent's home?
Q. Me and my boyfriend started having sex about 2 months into our relationship. We both lost our virginities to each other so everything was need and exciting, we had sex every time we saw each other which was around 5-6 days a week. Problem was we ...
A. 12 July 2014: You'll never really move on until you move out. Your sister doesn't owe you an apology because that is a pretty tough thing to hear right next door to you. Put yourself in her shoes - usually young teenagers who lack a lot of experience tend to ... (read in full...)
I get the silent treatment every time we have an argument!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship with a very passive aggressive man. We've been together for 2 years. We had a small argument 2 weeks ago, and i did apologize to him the next day telling him that i'm going through a lot of stress l...
A. 12 July 2014: He disappears for weeks and month? Sorry, but you're not in an LDR with this guy. He's got someone there, and if he didn't, then you're not in any real commitment with him.
It's time to end the pretend relationship once and for all and date som... (read in full...)
Is it possible to find any handsome and confident guys that are not assholes?
Q. It seems that every descent looking guy I come across ends up being a total asshole! They turn out to be liars and cheaters and users and honestly I'm sick of it. They think that just because they are good looking they can step all over peoples ...
A. 12 July 2014: If you're finding a pattern to the guys you're attracted to, then the issue lies in what attracts you, or your "type", as it were. Some women are attracted to guys who end up abusive. Others to guys who end up jealous to a fault, and you happen to ... (read in full...)
Chatting online for a month and he wants me to pay his phone bill so we can talk
Q. I met this guy in a dating website about a month ago and he asked me to pay his phone bill. It makes me a little uncomfortable because I don't know if he is using me. He says he likes me a lot and has plans to come visit me in 3 weeks (lives 7 hours ...
A. 11 July 2014: You're probably one of about 10 girls he's doing that to. A con artist makes money off of the gullible, and you've shown just by coming here and asking our advice that you AREN'T gullible enough to be his mark.
Aunty BimBim hit the nail on the h... (read in full...)
Is it possible to gain back trust once it's lost? What if the person is a repeat "white liar"?
Q. I will keep this question as simple as possible. Is it possible to gain trust back once it's lost? How? Has anyone ever dated/married someone who told numerous "white lies" but never cheated or lied about something extreme? And lastly, if ...
A. 10 July 2014: I would have guessed immediately that he had a rough childhood. If I was guessing, I'd say that his parents/guardians were really viciously physically abusive or prone to uncontrollable rage. The fact that he's also dealt with depression is not ... (read in full...)
How to tell your partner you have HIV?
Q. I recently found I that I am hiv positive. I've only had 3 sex partners. Last year I was dating 2 guys and I was tested last year after sex with them and I was negative. I've been single and haven't been sexually active. I recently started talking ...
A. 10 July 2014: First off, I'm so sorry about your HIV diagnosis. I'm sure that's nothing short of earth-shattering to you to find this out.
Second, I agree that you should get a lawyer, because knowingly exposing someone to HIV is a pretty serious crime, a... (read in full...)
Is it possible to gain back trust once it's lost? What if the person is a repeat "white liar"?
Q. I will keep this question as simple as possible. Is it possible to gain trust back once it's lost? How? Has anyone ever dated/married someone who told numerous "white lies" but never cheated or lied about something extreme? And lastly, if ...
A. 10 July 2014: What you've described are not white lies. A "white lie", in my opinion, is a lie like the answer to "do these pants make my butt look fat?" or "Do you think she's prettier than me?".
This guy's not a white liar. His problem is that he's a compul... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 10 July 2014: Anon Reader: It's okay to disagree with me, and to the OP, from this part of your original post, it appeared to me as if you were living with the guy because of this: "Since I lived with some of them, I couldn't leave right away, but I DID leave. I ... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 9 July 2014: Come on, now. This is a no-brainer.
If you're with a guy who doesn't respect "no", you leave the guy. You break up. You ditch him for good. It should never *get* to the point of you using a guy's place to store stuff, spending lots of time at ... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 9 July 2014: Come on, now. This is a no-brainer.
If you're with a guy who doesn't respect "no", you leave the guy. You break up. You ditch him for good. It should never *get* to the point of you using a guy's place to store stuff, spending lots of time at ... (read in full...)
He only put the tip in. Am I still a virgin?
Q. I don't know if I'm a virgin or not.. Help? I was with him and he kept fingering me and tryed to make it easier for him to get it in.. Well, when he tryed to put it in It definitely hurt. He told me he only got the tip.in and that's all.. But I ...
A. 9 July 2014: Agreed. The legal definition states that penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete the act.
There doesn't need to be orgasm, nor does a guy have to go in all the way. Your hymen was damaged which caused the bleeding, and his tip ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 21 February 2014: OH - forgot to mention - you lose your virginity in the program.... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 21 February 2014: Have you ever heard of Surrogate Partner Therapy?? It's "hands on" therapy designed specifically for people like you with social issues who are virgins. You actually have several sessions designed to break down all of the hangups like what you ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 20 February 2014: "These are things I just cannot grab overnight like I can do with a escort. Escort I just make in-call go see her (at her place) for the hour and then leave."
42 different posts on here and you haven't learned a thing. You might as well call tha... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 14 February 2014: Heh, I think men do more judging towards women who *are* prostitutes/sex workers/porn starts than women do to men hiring them. To me, buying sex is a cop out. What will be accomplished?? You'll still not know what the hell you're doing, and so ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 February 2014: I was thinking similar along those lines. A sex doll would have about the same level of emotion when it comes to you. The GFE takes much more than one hour, and I don't know about you, but I'd miss that kind of money. And not to burst your ... (read in full...)
Is there really ever a good time to break up with someone?
Q. I've been dating someone for 3 months who has started to get clingy and needy. He's a very nice man and has many wonderful qualities but he is way more into this relationship then me. I'll give some examples of his needy behavior: He tex...
A. 26 November 2013: In this guy's case, why haven't you straight up told him that he was acting needy and clingy, and that you're having a hard time staying with him because of it? Sometimes the direct approach is the best approach.
If he still is oblivious after yo... (read in full...)
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