He pulls the disappearing act but gets upset when I do it.
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years has made it clear he doesn't like it when I don't answer his calls or text back right away. However, he has previously gone out drinking all night and failed to tell me and I'm left wondering when he goes MIA for hours. L...
A. 20 November 2014: Doesn't sound like you two live together if he's sleeping when you're calling him.
Maybe I may have a more old-school view on things, but to me, a "disappearing act" is days, not hours. I don't get mad if the guy I'm with takes a night off or t... (read in full...)
How do I show him I was interested, I was just scared?
Q. Hi, I met a guy through then summer he was very flirty with me, and always stared at me, he did come on quite strong that scared me a little. So I started ignoring him in the street. Wasn't being mean but I was nervous and little shocked as he is 15 ...
A. 18 November 2014: I don't think you should show him anything until you straighten yourself out. Why were you scared in the first place, and what would your fear, undealt with, do to you now if you wanted to try to show him you were interested?
No, the truth is... (read in full...)
When it comes to sex she calls the shots
Q. My girlfriend Is controlling sexually she keeps rejecting me every time if try to have sex. It's destroying our relationship so much, I try to talk she won't We have sex 1time a month on her command. It is destroying my masculinity Help me flip...
A. 18 November 2014: Anon - you're right! It was late and I forgot to finish my thought! I meant - if they just became parents, it could be postpartum depression or the exhaustion a new mom feels. Sorry for being vague, and after reading it in the light of day, heh, ... (read in full...)
When it comes to sex she calls the shots
Q. My girlfriend Is controlling sexually she keeps rejecting me every time if try to have sex. It's destroying our relationship so much, I try to talk she won't We have sex 1time a month on her command. It is destroying my masculinity Help me flip...
A. 18 November 2014: Early 20's and you're only at once per month??
I think if you were smart, you won't marry her. Unless she's eager to change and do whatever it takes to, nothing will change.
If you've tried to talk this out and she won't, then you are sexually... (read in full...)
Weird feeling during sex
Q. So when my boyfriend and I are having sex, I swear it feels like something is moving inside. I feel like my stomach or uterus or something is moving when there's thrusting. Yoy can hear it too. It sounds like a stomach gurgle kinda thing. I'm not ...
A. 18 November 2014: I agree - see a doctor. To me, it sounds like air trapped during his thrusting, which can especially happen if he's too rough or overthrusts, like all the way out. Does he sometimes pull too far out and then has some "misfires" trying to ... (read in full...)
I walked on egg shells around his wife and my relationship with my son have changed from good to bad! How can I show my son that I love his wife and children?
Q. My son and I have a close relationship until he got married. He's 33 years old and a wonderful son but now I felt like I walked on egg shells around his wife and my relationship with my son have changed from good to bad. I called him one day and I ...
A. 17 November 2014: First of all, you should be truthful here. You love your son. You do not love his wife, and the passive-aggressive way you go about dealing with it broadcasts that to the world. NOW, here's a news flash: You don't *HAVE* to love his wife. Your ... (read in full...)
My fiance and father of our child has revealed that he has fantasies about having sex with other women. How am I supposed to cope with this?
Q. What would you do/think if your fiance who you just had a baby with says he fantasises/wants to have sex with other women! One of the woman he sees around work and talks to. Hes never cheated as far as i know and says he only would sleep with oth...
A. 16 November 2014: I have a very important question for you, one that my advice hinges everything on...
Did he reveal this to you because you ASKED him about it, or did he come out and say it on his own??
I've seen too many times where a guy was too young to rea... (read in full...)
I have the hots for the amazingly hot baby sitter
Q. I have an amazingly hot baby sitter, she is new to my family, just me and my daughter, but I have known her sister for while now. How do I find out if she has any interest? I wont lie I would love to see her in more ways than just my baby sitter. I ...
A. 16 November 2014: You are a parent. Given the way you talked about her, it sounds like she's a regular fixture and cares for your child on a regular basis. Is she a once-in-a-while babysitter, or is she there every day and is your primary source of child care while ... (read in full...)
How do I put this guy in his place? I need a good ultimatum line
Q. Hey Aunts So I have a crush on this guy for a while , back then he was mostly talking about his ex gf but the day his present gf came down (before that he referred her to me as an ex), he told me that they were just going to meet up and catch up....
A. 16 November 2014: I mean this in the most compassionate and respectful way, but I think your ultimatum should be to yourself, and should be worded like:
"You either are going to be desperate for the dregs of male society while waiting for this lying guy's crumbs... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work when it starts with sex on the first date?
Q. Does sex on first date ever lead to a relationship? I met "Al" two weeks ago and the connection was amazing. We didn't want the date to end so we hung out on his roof and then, his place. One thing led to another and we slept together. I have NEVER ...
A. 16 November 2014: I never advise sex on the first date, but my half sister did the same thing you did, and she's married to the guy for 23 years with two kids.
There are exceptions to the rules, and the fact that he's eager for more dates bodes well for you.... (read in full...)
I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?
Q. I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...
A. 16 November 2014: So, "Husband", every day that you do not leave your wife makes the very words that you type on here about the flowery feelings for your mistress are WORTHLESS.
From August 2013 until now, you've been sitting on your hands, eh? Please.
I be... (read in full...)
I have resentment toward my husband who won't talk about his business and never gives me support!
Q. I am building resentment toward my husband. My husband though is a nice man has no ambitions whatsoever. He has his small business, which basically pays for itself. I don't even know what he does with his money. He pays for his clothes, outings...
A. 15 November 2014: All I had to do is look at the flag you have to know that you don't realize how much information you're actually entitled to in this matter.
He started this business when you were married. This means it's not just HIS business. It's a communal... (read in full...)
A (small) betrayal or much ado about nothing?
Q. I told my husband in confidence that his best friend was getting a divorce. Before telling him I made him promise not to tell anyone until his best friend tells him himself. A few weeks later, he blurted it out. Now, as usual, he’s angry AT ME fo...
A. 15 November 2014: I don't get the whole "I don't keep secrets from my spouse" thing. What if someone were in a job where they knew top secret or classified info? I view confidences told to me by friends to be in that same category.
The initial "betrayal" *IS* fro... (read in full...)
How do I continue with this relationship with my married boyfriend when I have periods of doubt creeping in around his ability to be faithful to me?
Q. Hello DC Friends. I could use your advice. Not judgement or answers which predict future behaviour and outcome. None of us knows what will happen with certainty. And let us remember that not every man is the same nor is what they do nor is every ...
A. 15 November 2014: If your last boyfriend cheated on you, why on earth would you be with a married man, who by all the laws of nature CANNOT be your boyfriend in any sort of way except secret on the side??
You are with a cheater. Being an accomplice to cheating... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same since he admitted to a threesome
Q. What would you do/feel if you had a friend for whom you had feelings. You had started to get close physically and emotionally. Plans were made to meet up (we're living far apart now). But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and ...
A. 13 November 2014: "But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and his girlfriend."
Wouldn't the OP have said "HER" girlfriend?... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same since he admitted to a threesome
Q. What would you do/feel if you had a friend for whom you had feelings. You had started to get close physically and emotionally. Plans were made to meet up (we're living far apart now). But he tells you he got drunk and had a 3some with his friend and ...
A. 13 November 2014: I'm confused. You have feelings for the guy, right? He just told you that he blew off a meeting with you because he JUST had a 3some with two people, one being his current girlfriend? Was he describing something he JUST did?
Doesn't this mea... (read in full...)
In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you?
Q. This is an age old question but I would like to poll a question. In a marriage, would you be happier with the person you love or the person that loves you? (Note that it's a one-sided love. You may care for the other person but I am referring to ...
A. 12 November 2014: I'd rather be married to someone out of mutual love, or I'd rather be alone.
The problem with loving someone who didn't love me is that I'd live under a constant state of pain, which is untenable.
The problem with being married to someone who l... (read in full...)
Who do I leave my money to?
Q. I'm going to make a will.I'm quite comfortable financially, with a property paid for and money in the bank.I'm only 55, but you never know... Thing is, my only son (from a divorce) is 27 and has basically never worked. He occasionally works as a DJ ...
A. 12 November 2014: I had a feeling it had to do with your feelings about his mom. Seriously - nothing you've said in your follow-up has anything to do with disinheritance. In fact, I'd ask you how much you have connected with your son in his lifetime? If she had ... (read in full...)
Who do I leave my money to?
Q. I'm going to make a will.I'm quite comfortable financially, with a property paid for and money in the bank.I'm only 55, but you never know... Thing is, my only son (from a divorce) is 27 and has basically never worked. He occasionally works as a DJ ...
A. 12 November 2014: There is something else, since I gave my opinion of the morality of your decision, I feel compelled to bring up some legal issues regarding it, and why it might be much more difficult to disinherit your son than you think.
Being that you're i... (read in full...)
My man won't put out but wants me to please him only!
Q. In need of some advice please! So I've been in a relationship and living with my bf for over 2 yrs. and we just had a baby (he did not want to have the baby) we didn't have much sex at the end of my pregnancy cause he said it's weird...it drove me...
A. 12 November 2014: You had a baby 5 weeks ago? You're not supposed to have sex until 6 weeks!! You're not healed, you're still bleeding most likely, and it's way too soon, especially if you had tearing and stitches.
After 6 weeks, gentle fingering or a non-pene... (read in full...)
Who do I leave my money to?
Q. I'm going to make a will.I'm quite comfortable financially, with a property paid for and money in the bank.I'm only 55, but you never know... Thing is, my only son (from a divorce) is 27 and has basically never worked. He occasionally works as a DJ ...
A. 12 November 2014: If your girlfriend is in any way someone you want to take care of when you die, then why haven't you already married her? In my opinion, giving your major inheritance to a girlfriend who isn't your wife, and who has 5 years to your son's 27 is ... (read in full...)
How do I go about this when I have NO PROOF if I suspect he is/had an affair
Q. I am living with my boyfriend. All I can go on is my suspicions. I've read numerous articles about spotting behaviors that would point to a man having an affair, but those behaviors don't show in my boyfriend. He has talked about marriage with me...
A. 10 November 2014: Quite honestly, why do you need proof??
If the relationship is not good, and he lies to you regularly so much that you have become attuned to a lying pattern, then why isn't that enough for you to kick him to the curb?!
I wouldn't put up ... (read in full...)
Coming out to my mother please help
Q. Okay, so basically I only have one last person (also the hardest person to come out to) that I am a lesbian and my best friend is also my girlfriend. I was wondering how I should tell my mom about us. Also we both still live with my mother and we ...
A. 10 November 2014: In this case, DO NOT put the cart before the horse.
Your primary goal is to make yourself self-sufficient and financially independent. Due to her religion, her first response may in fact be to put you out of the house, which can derail everythi... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my married lover
Q. I've been in a relationship with an older married man for a year. In the last year, my feelings have grown for him, and I am in love. I know it's selfish, but I want more of his time to be spent with me. He insists that it will get better, but I'm ...
A. 10 November 2014: You're getting great advice. I'm going to tell you something that you'll reject now, but will soon be the only thing you'll think about the moment you either stand up for yourself and reject your counterfeit affair, or he does it to you by ... (read in full...)
I've been dating him for 2 years and he won't show me where he lives?
Q. I have been dating a man for two years but he refuses to show me where he lives.he took me to visit jis family out of state; but he can't show me where he live in state.he tells me he lives with a family member.he get many excuses about the ...
A. 7 November 2014: Definitely married, especially if when you date, it's on a several day stretch. All he has to tell his wife is that he's out on a business trip, and voila - he's yours.
I'm also guessing he has more than one cell phone to throw his wife off the ... (read in full...)
I am dying for my boyfriends attention.
Q. I know this sounds self-centered, and maybe it is. But I am dying for my boyfriends attention. We do not have a bad relationship, never fight or anything. But he isn't very romantic at all.. I love to cuddle and give gifts and am very interested ...
A. 6 November 2014: Actually, I have the oldest thought in the romance playbook.
The one tried-and-tested way to get more attention in a relationship like yours is to pull away. In your case, he doesn't have to make any effort because you are making enough effort f... (read in full...)
He used to do his own laundry! Is he cheating on me?
Q. Is he cheating? My boyfriend of 4yrs and 11 mnths . nowadays constantly takes his clothes to the dry cleaners where his ex works.but before he used to do his own laundry. Is he cheating?...
A. 5 November 2014: Actually, don't dismiss the thought.
If a behavior pattern purposely puts him in a place his ex works, where before he never did that, then he may be looking for an excuse to see her.
Did he start a new job that requires him to wear suits?
... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he says I am his "guilty pleasure"?
Q. What does it mean if a man tells you your his guilty pleasure? What would it mean to you if you were to say this to someone or someone was to say this to you? How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing c...
A. 5 November 2014: If you're sure he's single and you're not a mistress, then he means that being with you is "addictive". Basically, it's a compliment, even though he may not know that "guilty pleasures" are ones that usually aren't good for you, like chocolate, ... (read in full...)
Should I settle down or take the "you only live once" attitude?
Q. I know this will sound selfish so I'm asking if you're going to reply having a go then please don't! I'm in a 4 month long relationship with a man who is everything I could possibly want but we want different things. He is ready to get a place t...
A. 5 November 2014: Actually, at the 5 month mark, he's moving WAY too fast. You're still in the "getting to know you" stage of a relationship, and his wanting to move in and such is going way too fast. Also, moving in with a guy doesn't mean giving up having fun or ... (read in full...)
Is my brain fixated on porn? Is that why I can't keep an erection during sex?
Q. My girlfriend and I are trying to have sex. It his her first time so it takes tries to finally do it. But there is a problem. I lose my erection when its not stimulated with friction. She gives oral to make me have a full erection. After that whe...
A. 5 November 2014: You're right. You have become addicted/desensitized to porn stimulation. There is a site both you and your girlfriend should read that isn't judgmental at all, but rather medically and physically describes what you're going through. You're not ... (read in full...)
Should I try to become a paratrooper or join the Navy?
Q. I'm joining the military, but I'm torn on what to do. Please, if you have time, help me out. I made a short version if you don't want to read a lot: There are two jobs I'm considering. - The first one is becoming an officer at the army para...
A. 4 November 2014: I don't want to dissuade you from your dream or desire, but I feel compelled to tell you that my brother was a paratrooper when he was in the service, and the accumulation of injuries eventually forced him out early. He is in his 30's and will need ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and upgrading of porn. Should I be concerned?
Q. Hi all, I have been with my boyfriend for three years as of two days ago. I know he watches porn, even though he's been hesitant to admit it. I am not comfortable with porn, but our agreement is that as long as he clears his search history a...
A. 3 November 2014: Actually, I think you've broken your word with your boyfriend. You can't "be okay" with it as long as he clears his cache and then turn around and snoop on him. You can't "be okay" and then surveil him on HIS laptop.
What are you doing, anyways?... (read in full...)
Normal for boyfriend to watch shemale porn ?
Q. I recently discovered on my boyfriends computer history that he has been watching shemale porn. To be honest I'm very disturbed by it , it had like ladyboy asain boys and guys with girls too but the girls wore strap ons. He had other porn like teen ...
A. 2 November 2014: People who are bi-curious also watch it, as Honeypie says.In this guy's case, I believe she is right. In other cases, porn addicts watch it because they're looking for more edgy stimulation and they've become too desensitized to conventional porn
... (read in full...)
He's broke. I'd like us to live together. But financially I'd have to carry him. Is living with him going to end in tears?
Q. I'm 35 and my boyfriend 33. We've been together 3 years but don't live together. He lives with his parents. I want us to live together but the problem is that he's broke and just finally got a steady job 3 months ago where he makes 3 times less than...
A. 2 November 2014: Actually, if you're LUCKY, it'll ONLY end in tears. More likely it will lead to ending you in financial ruin, your dreams obliterated, you in despair, a hollow shell of what you are now, and bitter at the world, wishing that the one day you could ... (read in full...)
How do you let a man understand that having premarital sex is not the way to go
Q. Any man out here waited for their woman who did not want to have premarital sex and married her? And how are you doing in the marriage. Or do you know of anyone who this worked for? I am recently single two years ago and made a vow to the Lord ...
A. 31 October 2014: I came from a really religious background as well and I can tell you that dancing naked on Skype was a really bad thing to do. You can't be taken seriously about waiting until marriage while giving a strip tease, AND if he was the type of guy to ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of dealing with my friend's manipulative husband
Q. I'm not sure how to handle this situation with my very best friend. (I'm her very best friend too) The problem is that she tells me she doesn't give a crap if her husband gets mad at her but her actions don't match her words. Every time we want to ...
A. 31 October 2014: Yeah, people like her husband get on my nerves too, and I'm sure that you feel protective of not only your best friend, but your time with her as well, and that's totally understandable!
Unfortunately, apart from saying something to her when the... (read in full...)
Violence and lack of respect in our marriage -- how do we work on this on our own?
Q. Once in awhile my husband and I get into some real physical fights, which is NOT acceptable, I know that. Last night it started with my husband coming home after travelling for a week (I was alone with my toddlers), and he noticed a crack in the ...
A. 31 October 2014: The question is - who was the first to get physical and put their hands on the other person?? The answer is - YOU. You can't blame someone else for your hitting him. You can't hit someone for hurting your feelings or making you mad. Is there any ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat because of how he behaves on line?
Q. i have been in a relationship for 14 years. started dating him at the age of 17 him 27 now aged 31 and him 41. im confused. i cheated on him with a friend of ours. i have seen his facebook over the last couple of years with all porn sites and stuff. ...
A. 30 October 2014: Let me make something extremely clear to you:
You cheated because you wanted to. You can never blame anyone else for you cheating. Yes, it takes two to make a relationship work, and both of you are equally responsible for the deterior... (read in full...)
I don't want to be superficial, and I know the problem can be fixed ...
Q. Hey everyone......There is this guy I have been seeing for a month now.he is a great guy and I like him.but I can't stand his lips.we haven't kissed yet and it's all because his lips gross me out.he has a habit of chewing his lips which is an ...
A. 30 October 2014: You can do it with charm. Get some lip balm like Chap Stick, hand it to him, and say "This will make the kissing EXTRA sexy if you use this every day".
Hopefully he's smart enough to take the hint (like handing breath mints to someone who suff... (read in full...)
After her meeting with her ex I don't trust her
Q. Hey guys, My relationship it was going great, we understood each other very well. She loves me but her x-bf is irritating her. He still thinks that they're together but they're not. We study in the same college and I went home for a week. She had ...
A. 29 October 2014: Wow. This guy is blackmailing sexual/physical favors from her, threatening her with calling her parents, harassing and stalking her, and your response is to rifle through her phone as if she's having a clandestine affair???
What is wrong with you... (read in full...)
My Dad has told me he's disowning me for spending the night with my Bf. Feel incredibly hurt. What can I do?
Q. I'm sorry if this post is lengthy and/or complicated. I'm 19 years old, and ever since I turned 18, I've been having more and more issues with my dad. My parents are divorced, and are very different from each other. My dad is very overprotecti...
A. 28 October 2014: So you don't live with your dad? You live with your mom?
I see fault on both sides, to be honest. I agree that your dad is unstable and needs medication for sure, and he does sound controlling especially with you being 19 years old, you shouldn'... (read in full...)
I've been dating him for 2 years and he won't show me where he lives?
Q. I have been dating a man for two years but he refuses to show me where he lives.he took me to visit jis family out of state; but he can't show me where he live in state.he tells me he lives with a family member.he get many excuses about the ...
A. 26 October 2014: Oh yeah! You can easily see where he lives at the sites Honeypie listed, as well as zabasearch.com and "reverse phone lookup" on some occasions.
You *do* realize that there are only two reasons he'd hide his address from you, and one of those re... (read in full...)
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