We started to rekindle, but he can't let go of the past!
Q. Ran into my bf the week of new year's. We instantly felt the connection again and we started talking and went out a couple of times. We live in different states now so it's a little complicated. We decided to try to see each other again and keep ...
A. 20 January 2015: You're 37 years old. When you started with the guy, you were 24-25 years old. You've wasted all of your prime years on him, got cheated on, broke up with him, which you should have done, and instead of moving on, you're flinging yourself at him.
... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend out of line in her comments about mental illness?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend 2 and a half years and honestly some of the things she does and says take the absolute biscuit. Yesterday we were speaking about mental illness, I have confided in her before and gotten the same reaction, in my ...
A. 20 January 2015: She's not your doctor. If you are under the care of a doctor, then they are your care. It sounds to me like this is part of a larger ongoing issue, and that the prawn crackers are just a tiny part of the overall much larger issue.
Honey... (read in full...)
My b/f wants to try anal sex, but I don't think I'm comfortable with it. How common is it for people to try anal sex?
Q. I'm wondering what everyone thinks of anal sex. I'm 21 my b/f is 23 and we've been together roughly 2 years. He's the only guy I've ever been with and we have been sexually active for a few months now. He's recently told me about wanting to try a...
A. 19 January 2015: Don't do it unless you're completely comfortable with the idea. I tried it and didn't like it - it was painful and we did the whole lube/slowly thing, and I'm lucky to have a considerate husband who didn't pressure me and in fact decided it wasn't ... (read in full...)
Alternative to engagement rings?
Q. Hello everyone, so I have been with my boyfriend for some years now and we have talked about marriage. He has already asked me if I would like to marry him (he's asked several times). I said yes each time except once (as a joke because he already ...
A. 19 January 2015: Have you gone to the doctor to get that diagnosed? That would be your first step whether you were engaged or not.
However, wearing the ring as a necklace around your neck would be appropriate if there is no alternative, or you can decide mutually... (read in full...)
My Cousin Has Fallen For A Former Player, But I'm Not Convinced He's Changed...
Q. My cousin is gay, and he happens to have fallen head over heels for a gay older guy (who's 29 and my cousin's 22). There is apparently mutual interest. The older guy is one of those people who is nice but very flirty. I've met him before and he ma...
A. 18 January 2015: I have some complex thoughts about this, and I need to number them for my own mental organization.
1. First and foremost, there are those who were players in their intemperate, immature youth who have sown their wild oats and have more mature g... (read in full...)
I am sure my Mom was just a bit tipsy but this creeped me out!
Q. Hi, I m a 23 year old guy. Yesterday I asked my friend Jeremy (also 23) to sleep over my house for the whole weekend. Around 10 my mom and her best friend were sitting at the kitchen counter drinking some wine when Jeremy came over. This was the ...
A. 18 January 2015: You don't have anything to be worried about. Her saying "he was cute" means she was being polite and going with the conversation. Had she started sexualizing him with her friends and getting explicit, then that would be creepy!
Your mom isn't go... (read in full...)
Great opportunity if we move, but it would take me away from family
Q. What would you do? My husband has the opportunity to make an extra 35 grand. However, to do this we'd need to move across the country and away from my extended family. Our money situation is good at the moment. He makes 70 grand. But we still ...
A. 18 January 2015: Yes, you should move! The world is a lot smaller than it was when I was growing up moving across country for my father's job. But I wouldn't trade it for the world! Going on an adventure, meeting new people, getting itchy feet, it's awesome.
... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about putting off sex until he feels he can trust me again?
Q. I am in a rut in my relationship. Long story short I cheated, There was no physical cheating. I was texting my manager and deleting the messages..they were not in any way inappropriate but I knew the fact bothered my fiancee so instead of nipping ...
A. 18 January 2015: Is this the same fiancee you had in 2011/2012 you had a daughter with??
If so, he's hysterical. The guy's a cheating loser, has never given you an orgasm, and you're posting THIS??
Are you playing a game with us????... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about putting off sex until he feels he can trust me again?
Q. I am in a rut in my relationship. Long story short I cheated, There was no physical cheating. I was texting my manager and deleting the messages..they were not in any way inappropriate but I knew the fact bothered my fiancee so instead of nipping ...
A. 18 January 2015: You can NOT accommodate someone else's insecurities, because they only get worse when you do that. He should NOT have access to your phone. He's not entitled to it, and given how much access into your identity/finances that phones have nowadays, ... (read in full...)
I don't trust him with this other woman
Q. I want my prevent my husband from working for a female tennent. My husband is the repairs manager for a local housing authority. One of the female tennents has needed ALOT of repairs done to her home and my husband has visited her for every repair. ...
A. 17 January 2015: There are many reasons that he himself shouldn't go there himself all the time, and not just because of your insecurity or jealousy issues.
If he has a team of repair workers out there that should be doing the work, then he is RISKING your fin... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting my nineteen yr.old son to move out and get his own apartment?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have a three bedroom apt.my mom,son and I live there its roomy for us .But my son has a problem with helping with house hold chores.He works and goes to school but in between time he doesn't take trash out wash dishes or anything to ...
A. 17 January 2015: I don't think you're wrong if he's not pulling his own weight around the house. I started paying rent right after I graduated high school. Wasn't a massive amount, but I also kept my room clean and picked up after myself in the common areas as ... (read in full...)
She will not break up but refuses to see me again!
Q. Girlfriend will not break up, but refuses to see me again. What is the best course of action as a man? So, the girlfriend of 9 months says that she now has no "free time for anything more than friends." She won't bring up breaking up, but feels ob...
A. 17 January 2015: Tell her it's over, that you two are no longer in a relationship, and wish her well.
That makes you "broken up". She has nothing to say about it.
Then stop seeing her and get on with your life without her. Don't contact her. Block her number... (read in full...)
She will not break up but refuses to see me again!
Q. Girlfriend will not break up, but refuses to see me again. What is the best course of action as a man? So, the girlfriend of 9 months says that she now has no "free time for anything more than friends." She won't bring up breaking up, but feels ob...
A. 17 January 2015: Tell her it's over, that you two are no longer in a relationship, and wish her well.
That makes you "broken up". She has nothing to say about it.
Then stop seeing her and get on with your life without her. Don't contact her. Block her number... (read in full...)
How much planning and discussion should be done prior to moving in with a partner?
Q. Inspired by a post on here today, I was wondering what sort of things should a couple discuss before they move in? Should they just know they both want marriage and children, or should they commit to a proper date/timescale beforehand? I know ...
A. 16 January 2015: I'm going to answer your questions on here, as well as ask you some of my own. I'll number them because I can tell from your posts that you would benefit from some concise direction from an intellectual or commonality standpoint:
1. Should t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want his expensive birthday gift, and I can't get my money back!
Q. I got my boyfriend an pretty expensive bday gift. I got us a cabin as a weekday getaway. I planned everything including food and transportation. I wanted to surprise him and he doesn't want to go. He says he'll be hungover and he wants to go out ...
A. 16 January 2015: I happen to agree with Chigirl on this one.
I too was wondering why he was looking to spend his birthday away from you. Didn't he get the memo that college was over and being sloppy hungover drunk isn't really that fun??
I know people are ... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: Wait a second...
Have you NEVER MET her???... (read in full...)
I played a prank on my girlfriend.. Should I break up with her because I can't handle the guilt?
Q. Hey Cupid I think I have messed up. I played a prank on a girl I was dating and sort of felt guilty by doing so. My plan was to make her doubt me because she trusted everything from the beginning which I found a bit naïve so I thought I'd just ac...
A. 16 January 2015: You didn't play a prank on your girlfriend. What you did was the farthest thing from a prank you can get, but you fell back on it as a "prank" so that you could get away with what you did in the disguise of "Hey! it was all a joke!"
You are one ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants to break up due to financial problem. Does this mean he is involved with another woman?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he wants to be friends because his job lower his hours and he is having a hard time paying his bills. Do this sound like he is involved with another woman? ...
A. 16 January 2015: I agree with Sy - doesn't sound like an affair to me either.
He's either freaking out about his job, or he feels like he can't afford a girlfriend. Guys are under a lot of pressure to take girls out, buy things for him, and appear virile financia... (read in full...)
What does this post-sex text mean?
Q. I got this text about 18 hours after we had sex for the second time. We see each other several times a month without anything physical happening. I've known him for 6 years and we have always had a strong attraction to each other. He's 43, I'm 35. ...
A. 16 January 2015: I think it's because you're still married. You are still married to your husband even though you are separated. He may think you being with him is a salve and that you and he are using each other to self-medicate the bad feelings away.
If th... (read in full...)
How do I get my wife to forgive me for cheating with a coworker?
Q. I have been married for 2 1/2 years. 2 months ago, my wife and I welcomed our first child, a girl. Over the last 6 months, however, my wife and I have disconnected. We fought, argued, and argued while fighting consistently during this time. ...
A. 16 January 2015: Well, here's the thing. Pregnancy can really do a number on marriages and relationships in general. Hormones are off the chart, even though that's not any sort of excuse for a pregnant person to act out without any thought to anyone else. ... (read in full...)
A year of living together but I don't see us moving forward. Am I wasting my time?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years now, and we've been living together for about a year. We're both 28. When he asked me to move in, it followed some pretty intense conversations about our future and if he saw marriage and kids as part of ...
A. 15 January 2015: What you got was the classic "bait and switch". He promised you marriage and kids if you would move in with him.
However, he wanted all the domestic benefits of marriage without having to commit. He got you moved in, keeping house, paying f... (read in full...)
Flirting with my best friend's wife...should I go further?
Q. My best friend started dating this girl years ago. My gf at the time and her were bffs. My friends gf and i had this chemistry that is so lustful and exciting. We would mess around a bit and eventually it came out in the open. We admitted guilt and ...
A. 15 January 2015: By all means, make it a three-way with your best friend and his wife. Then your betrayal's all the in the open right there, and you can all live polygamously ever after.
/sarcasm.... (read in full...)
My MIL leaves me in tears and always gets away with it
Q. This question is about my mother in law. I know that lots of peoples mothers in law are a pain in the ass, but mine is something else! She has a lot of mental health issues, including bulimia and alcoholism. She gets away with preposterous comments ...
A. 15 January 2015: I honestly think that you should remove yourself from the situation. Do not go to see her under any circumstance. If she is abusive towards you, then don't give her the opportunity.
Think of it this way -- I'm sure her mental and alcohol ... (read in full...)
Is it weird for my husband to lay on his little sister'a lap and stroke her face?
Q. Is it just me, or am I normal in thinking that it is very wrong for my husband who is 27 years old to lie on a sofa with his head in his 10 year old sisters lap and start stroking her face because I personally find it weird. My friends also said it ...
A. 15 January 2015: SVC, how DARE you not be in 100% agreement with me?!??!
;)
LOL...actually, she brings up a good point. A good, non-accusatory conversation with your husband would put you at ease about the situation, and she's right -- it does boil down t... (read in full...)
Should I tell my husband I almost cheated?
Q. So I am married two years to my childhood sweetheart, and I love him dearly. Lately we have been put to test with stress, family issues, his mentally ill mother and trying for a baby. Its all been very stressful and was starting to take its toll on ...
A. 15 January 2015: I agree with the others. What you had was a learning moment. If you had kissed the guy, I'd be on the "tell him" wagon, but you didn't kiss him, so where is the transgression? Did you have your hands all over him and vice versa?? If not, then ... (read in full...)
What was he thinking looking at Incest pornography?
Q. My fiance and I of 3 years just recently had a baby about 2 weeks ago. I understand men like to read and/or watch porn and I've had this talk with him a few times before because he would sneak off while i was asleep and watch it instead of having ...
A. 15 January 2015: You're breaking trust by snooping. You need to TALK to him about these sort of things, not rifle through his phone, which is a breach of trust.
Let me ask you this -- would a guy have the right to drug a woman to violate her and have sex with... (read in full...)
Her lack of sexual desire has me wondering if I should break up with her.
Q. So Ive been with this girl for over 2 years now and nearly everything is great with her. We moved in together 6 months ago and we still get on really well and I love her very much the problem is her lackof sexual desire. She has admitted she no ...
A. 15 January 2015: Just because someone (or both people) are asexual doesn't make sex any less important in their relationship. In fact, to an asexual, I'd suggest that sex is more important than someone who has a sex drive.
An asexual person would need someone ... (read in full...)
Is it weird for my husband to lay on his little sister'a lap and stroke her face?
Q. Is it just me, or am I normal in thinking that it is very wrong for my husband who is 27 years old to lie on a sofa with his head in his 10 year old sisters lap and start stroking her face because I personally find it weird. My friends also said it ...
A. 14 January 2015: WiseOwle is right. Different cultures would make the context different. Some people may think it's weird, and other people may just think it's normal depending on their own family dynamic.
However, I'm not really alarmed by what you mentione... (read in full...)
What was he thinking looking at Incest pornography?
Q. My fiance and I of 3 years just recently had a baby about 2 weeks ago. I understand men like to read and/or watch porn and I've had this talk with him a few times before because he would sneak off while i was asleep and watch it instead of having ...
A. 14 January 2015: What kind of incest porn was he looking at?? Was it specifically daddy/daughter, or was it generalized brother/sister/whatever?
You're going to have a lot to answer for yourself. If he was abiding by the rules of using porn only on his phone, t... (read in full...)
I'm devastated to find out my wife and brother had an affair!
Q. after twenty years of marriage i have just found out that my wife had an affair with my brother.this happened several years ago and had been going on for a few years.i love her so much and she says she hates herself for it.she says she's sorr...
A. 14 January 2015: Oh boy. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's not only a betrayal by your wife, it's also by your brother.
Why would you WANT to get it out of your mind? It's something that needs to be dealt with with both people, and frankly,... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is pressuring me into a threesome!
Q. Me and my fiance are very close but I feel like as many times as I talk to him about this he just wont understand we were at a party and I was the only sober one well him and his friend pressured me into some stuff the next morning he did not talk ...
A. 14 January 2015: I had a thought here. After I ended my last post, it hit me that you're being set up. I think your fiance has been cheating on you, and I think the party where he and his friend got you to do things with his friend was a set up into letting him ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is pressuring me into a threesome!
Q. Me and my fiance are very close but I feel like as many times as I talk to him about this he just wont understand we were at a party and I was the only sober one well him and his friend pressured me into some stuff the next morning he did not talk ...
A. 14 January 2015: Easy advice. DO NOT MARRY HIM. Break up with the cheating no-good bottom-feeder.
Why is there even a question about this?? Being a fiance doesn't mean being a plaything in his drunken fantasies. he's not treating you like a loving fiance. ... (read in full...)
How do I approach the delicate situation of having messy siblings they don't care about how they live?
Q. Hello. Thank you for reading my post. All advice and opinions are welcome. To attempt to keep this short as possible, I will jump to my point. I come from a very messy family. Growing up, I manage to maintain my sense of cleanliness and have alw...
A. 14 January 2015: I didn't see the country flag you have, but why does your family need to stay with you bill-free to a capacity that rent is or isn't an issue?? There is a correlation between their squalor and their sense of responsibility in this case.
Yes, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't touch me! How do I tell her this without upsetting her?
Q. Im in a lesbian relationship and I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months we have alot of sex, but she dosnt touch me. Its always me touching her. How can I bring up to her that it bothers me a lot that I'm always giving to her and she ...
A. 14 January 2015: There is something wrong here. If her response to asking for mutual reciprocity is to cry or be pissed, then she is either extremely selfish, or there's a professional-grade mental or emotional dysfunction going on. It is not normal to freak out ... (read in full...)
Her lack of sexual desire has me wondering if I should break up with her.
Q. So Ive been with this girl for over 2 years now and nearly everything is great with her. We moved in together 6 months ago and we still get on really well and I love her very much the problem is her lackof sexual desire. She has admitted she no ...
A. 13 January 2015: I'm telling you - Honeypie reads my fricken MIND!
It could be her, but before you dismiss it as being sexually compatible, let me ask you this hypothetical question:
What if you never got to have an orgasm again during couple sex?? What if y... (read in full...)
How does this happen? Normally cautious. So why did I open up to her, trust her, and share things with her soon after meeting her?
Q. Hi I was wondering that sometimes we just click with people and regardless of how less we know them and how less we spent time with them, we start to share the secrets we never want anyone in the world to know. It's not that you are careless...
A. 12 January 2015: You've been lonely. That's why. You're wanting someone like that in your life that you can open up to. You are right to be nervous about doing that, because that can scare people away to get that deep that fast.
Getting way too deep from the... (read in full...)
Stay renting where I am? Or move in with him? Do I pay him rent when he's the one buying the apartment?
Q. My boyfriend plans to buy an apartment, and asked me if I would like to move in with him when he's bought one. I have suggested we rent together instead, but he's very keen on buying his own place and not rent. He can not afford a big place, so it ...
A. 12 January 2015: Do not move in with him. A studio apartment is an apartment for ONE, and you paying half the interest when you won't get to share half the equity is a crap deal for you. If you can afford to do so like you say, buy your own place and start ... (read in full...)
I unfriended his new Gf. Should I call him and question why my ex suddenly blocked me? We were on speaking terms.
Q. Dear Cupids, I was coping ok after finishing with a guy I had a quick fling with and we remained friends on Facebook for a bit. However, I unfriended his current partner for obvious reasons and now he has blocked ME!! - and I can't cope!! I was ...
A. 12 January 2015: It's all because he has the new GF, and it is right that he unfriend you. It's not you - it's about their new relationship. You unfriending the new GF was because you're not over your ex, and you know it. That makes you both a threat to her AND ... (read in full...)
Confused and torn between loyalty to some long term friends versus the rest in my friend group. What to do?
Q. I am really confused and not sure what to do. In my friendship group at school, there is 7 of us. Two of my friends are obsessed with these celebrtites. Anyway, it is obvious my other friends are getting angry with them constantly talking about it, ...
A. 12 January 2015: You're actually doing the right thing by staying out of it. You can be neutral and not lose any of them, especially if the whole celebrity thing is just silly to you. Don't worry about emailing the celebrity or anything, though that's nice of you ... (read in full...)
Went on a date with my online friend, but received mixed messages. Did I offend him?
Q. Dear all. Your views would be welcome. Thanks. I went on an online date on saturday night. I had been talking on the phone to this guy for over a week. He was polite, and interesting. Anyway, we hit it off on the date, but after about 30 minutes h...
A. 12 January 2015: He wanted sex and you didn't want to go that fast. He's too touchy-feely and forward and you didn't like it. Why are you worried about offending him??
I think he's not talking to you because he's interested more in internet hookups than he is an... (read in full...)
He's moved in and we're in love. But after what I found on his phone - could he be cheating?
Q. Hi I have been seeing this guy for10 months he has moved into my home and is sweet and I'm so in love. I found porn on his phone which I don't mind but now I have found this site called f^^k buddy Could he be cheating? I work, he doesn't....
A. 12 January 2015: I agree. Sometimes sites like that link up and auto-pop up on the screen because they are paid sponsors of all that porn he's watching. Sometimes it's sites like that with the tag-line (F*** a girl in **whatever town** tonight), and it's nothing ... (read in full...)
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