A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone......There is this guy I have been seeing for a month now.he is a great guy and I like him.but I can't stand his lips.we haven't kissed yet and it's all because his lips gross me out.he has a habit of chewing his lips which is an annoying habit for a 27 year old.as a result of his chewing his lips are un karetinized and have become red and they are always dry.this is not a good look for a black guy.I dont want to be a supetficial person and breakup with him because his lips.how do I approach this without hurting his feelings.because I know it's something that can be easily handled because I had a similar problem when I was in high school...thank you in advance for your advice. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for the advice.I really want to give this guy a chance.I will get the lip bam and talk to him.thank you very much.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (30 October 2014):
 Yea be charming. Offer lip balm cleverly and... avoid skiing.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 October 2014):
 I know what you mean. Dry lips with dead skin hanging on them are such a turn off, and I really wonder if the persons who walk around with such lips KNOW how off-putting it is? They just don't care?
You're less shallow than I am, because I would not date a man with such lips at all. To me, it says so much about their lack of care about their own appearance. If they are so blind to how they present themselves, on something that is so vital if you want to have a relationship (kissing with such lips? No thank you!), then I really wonder what they would care about, or what they would show up with next. I would wonder if they are so uncaring in other departments too, or have any mirrors at all...
But that's just me. You want to give this guy a chance despite his obvious lack of self grooming. Tell him you like him. If he leans in to kiss you, pull away, and tell him "I really do like you, and would like to kiss you, but your lips are so dry and red from you chewing them". He'd get the hint.
Or if you want to be nicer (but boys do NOT get a hint), you could bring it up casually in conversation: By the way I have noticed you bite your lips a lot. I had a similar problem myself, and if you want help in stopping it I can tell you what worked for me...
Then guide him in how to stop it. But really, I doubt he will take the hint. How about you just tell him flat out that you would like him to stop chewing his lips so they can heal and not be dry and red and damaged? Then follow up with the reason why you tell him this: because you would like to kiss him, once his lips are healed and healthy.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (30 October 2014):
 You can do it with charm. Get some lip balm like Chap Stick, hand it to him, and say "This will make the kissing EXTRA sexy if you use this every day".
Hopefully he's smart enough to take the hint (like handing breath mints to someone who suffers bad breath).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2014): Buy him some lip balm and say 'I thought this would help your lips. They are very sexy but you keep chewing them and that's not good for them. They dry out and go red. Let's moisturise them and make them kissable'
And then compliment him when his lips are soft again.
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