A
male
age
41-50,
*dj91503
writes:I have an amazingly hot baby sitter, she is new to my family, just me and my daughter, but I have known her sister for while now. How do I find out if she has any interest? I wont lie I would love to see her in more ways than just my baby sitter. I know she is probably much wilder than her sister, I am 34 she is 18 Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 November 2014):
 She is an 18 yr old girl, they are amazingly transparent.
IF she had ANY interest at all you would already know it.
Clearly she does not.... leave it a hot fantasy and move on.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2014):
 You are a parent. Given the way you talked about her, it sounds like she's a regular fixture and cares for your child on a regular basis. Is she a once-in-a-while babysitter, or is she there every day and is your primary source of child care while you work??
I'll tell yout his - if she's the latter, and she is your child's primary caregiver while you work, you could be really exposing yourself legally by making advances toward her. Given that she is 18 and you're 34, plus the power imbalance there because you're paying her and she may depend on your employment situation that she could feel pressured with possibly losing the job if she rejects you sexually. It could be seen legally as your abuse of power as well as sexual harassment.
Not only that, but like I said earlier, you are a parent. Your daughter is forging a relationship with this person, and a good caregiver is hard to find. You could be causing your daughter, who should be the FIRST consideration in your life above everything else, trauma, and at her age needing a babysitter with no mom in the picture, having instability in the home situation can be really traumatic and possibly devastating.
You keep professional and personal dealings separate. You know her sister, but that doesn't give you license to a familiarity that can harm your daughter as well as your employee.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2014): Not all eighteen year old girls are wild so you can snap out of that fantasy big time! Also she's babysitting your child so you're not meant to be hanging around while she does otherwise you don't need ot hire her. My friend was a babysitter and she had a problem because th emarried father developed an infatuation with her and sent her inappropriate messages, she was completely freaked out by this and upset because she needed the money for the job, she ended up showing the texts to the wife and then they divorced . Even though you're not in a relationship I really do think she will be freaked out by any advances, my friend says she would have still been as freaked out if he had been single.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 November 2014):
 Ugh, hands off, because baby sitters will be hard to get if rumor comes out you're trying to get with them.
I say, just be respectable. She works for you and is half your age. The power balance is skewed, and this isn't right. She is off limits.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 November 2014):
 Well.... at least you've revealed that she's 18 YO ....
Otherwise: No comment.... Have at it....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 November 2014):
 If she is wild and up for that she would have been an escort not a babysitter. You get a babysitter because you want to date and have sex. In this case it's not a good idea to kill two birds with one stone or you would lose a babysitter. Both dates and babysitters can be hard to find so don't mess this one up.
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A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (15 November 2014):
 You are eventually her employer. Can you imagine how she feels about you because of that's? She is there to work and take care of a child so it is very unlikely that she sees you as a man. If you make a move on her you will definitely scare her off and you will be looking for a new baby sitter. The blame will be entirely on you. Stop creeping on the poor girl. It's unhealthy and you'll be served a lawsuit soon if you don't cut it out.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (15 November 2014):
Ew, she will think you are a creep if you come on to her (and she'd be right). She is an employee and barely of consenting age. Your letter really skeeves me out. I really hope she realizes what you're up to and quits.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2014): It's very ulikely that any 18 year old girl would be interested in a man who already has a kid. Why wouldn't she want to date someone of her own age and with whom she has more in common?
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A
female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (15 November 2014):
Wow! That is weird. Your 34 and she is 18. She is taking care of your child and is responsible for your child.
If you are just interested in sleeping with her, I say get over it or find a new babysitter. Your going to cause a problem between you, her and your daughter. Check your emotions at the door.
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