He's moved in and we're in love. But after what I found on his phone - could he be cheating?
Q. Hi I have been seeing this guy for10 months he has moved into my home and is sweet and I'm so in love. I found porn on his phone which I don't mind but now I have found this site called f^^k buddy Could he be cheating? I work, he doesn't....
A. 12 January 2015: I agree. Sometimes sites like that link up and auto-pop up on the screen because they are paid sponsors of all that porn he's watching. Sometimes it's sites like that with the tag-line (F*** a girl in **whatever town** tonight), and it's nothing ... (read in full...)
Just found out my long term boyfriend texts a woman from work... and also gives her a lift to work in the morning! should I be ok with this?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. He is very loyal and sensitive... In fact I have never known him to really text other women, even though he is a very friendly person. He is very trustworthy, I honestly don't think he would cheat ...
A. 12 January 2015: It is telling a bit that he talked about a guy lift but not the girl, and that she is texting him. I'm not about to say that he's got some thing for her, but it could be that he thought it would cause trouble at home.
I think he should have tol... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend wants to take me out
Q. Hi, My ex boyfriend and I dated for one year, we never had any fights and truly loved each other. Before we started dating I told him that for our relationship to work, he ll need to convert to my religion. He promised he d try to learn more and...
A. 12 January 2015: You can't be friends with your ex, and let me ask you this:
Why can't you convert to his religion?? Why is YOUR religion not on the table and his is?? Why aren't you committing yourself to being as open-minded as you are expecting him to be?? ... (read in full...)
I really like him but he never went to university.
Q. I really like this guy I've been chatting with. He's caring, kind and hardworking but, I just found out that he didn't go to university. I know this shouldn't matter, but I cant seem to get over the prejudice that because he didn't get a higher ...
A. 9 January 2015: First of all, I completely understand where you're coming from, because I know that feeling. I did the whole academic enchilada taking years and sacrifice, yet I married a guy who never completed his bachelor's degree. Did I wrestle with it?? ... (read in full...)
Two years together and he's married. I don't want to be in love with him any more. How do I supress my feelings for him?
Q. This has been a bit of a problem for a while. About two and a half years ago, I fell madly in love with this guy that I know. I guess that scared me quite a bit because I'd never had such feelings for anyone before. This wouldn't be as much of a ...
A. 8 January 2015: What you're feeling is limerence. It's obsessive, intrusive, compulsive, the whole butterflies thing. It's infatuation, not love. You're not "in love" with the guy. You can literally be in extreme euphoria and total despair in the span of ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend of two years is torn. He cannot give me up but he cannot leave his marriage. How do I handle this?
Q. I have deep feelings for a man who has been married for 20 years. I have been with him for almost 2 years. It happened because I suppose we met at the right place and the right time and we had this undeniable connection... right from the very st...
A. 6 January 2015: He is never ever going to leave his wife. There is no "torn" about it, especially after you clarified what his age bracket is.
Every time you make a demand, big or small, he goes cold or he'll say whatever it takes to keep you on the side. O... (read in full...)
She's blamed me for her sexting, flirting and flashing on webchat. Is this classed as cheating? Can I trust her?
Q. i have been with my fiancee for almost 4 years now and we are actively planning our wedding. she has confessed to me that she has been flirting with her ex on text, flirting with other guys on web chat and has also been flashing on webchat....
A. 5 January 2015: NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
She is LYING her ass off to you! But I think on an elemental level, you already know it, but your own fear keeps you from standing up for yourself.
When you join the army, do it as a single man. She is cheating beca... (read in full...)
I think this is catfish behaviour!
Q. So currently I am in a LDR with a girl whom I share feelings for. We have been talking to each other for well over what's going to be months already. Throughout this relationship I have always been willing to send pictures and to want to skype an...
A. 1 January 2015: I smell a catfish too. After months and in this technology age, you should be video chatting by now.
Listen to Honeypie! The first thing I thought of was what you told this person about you. The more personal you get, the easier it is to steal... (read in full...)
A dear friend turned hostile
Q. Dear Cupids; Let me start by setting the scene (I'll try to keep it to the point). I was raised in a large, strict and very religious household. I am one of 29 grandchildren (soon to be 30) and the only one who is gay. My family did not rea...
A. 31 December 2014: I came from a similar ultra-religious conservative background, and my husband did too, so I know how stifling and pressure-filled keeping up appearances and toeing the family line is. When my husband's brother came out at the age of 22, the scene ... (read in full...)
I verbally abuse my boyfriend!
Q. I verbally abuse my boyfriend and I am aware that it is wrong. However, I do it so he can pay attention to me. This time I did it while visiting his job. He ask me for a hug and I told him that I did not want to hug him. Then, I proceeded to tell ...
A. 30 December 2014: It sounds like you broke up with him. You said you were over. You kicked him to the curb. Breakups are like bullets - they are a permanent solution. Even if there's getting back together, there's no calling back the extreme pain caused by those ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says my the relationship between me and my son is unhealthy!
Q. My son 21 and we have a great mother and son relation but my girlfriend always finding fault in our relationship. Because my son tells me I'm his number one woman in his life and he's the only child i have and we can talk about everything, my ...
A. 27 December 2014: I don't think you have an unhealthy relationship just because he says that to you. A mom *is* the number one woman in a son's life until they find Ms. Right.
You both aren't acting inappropriately like flirting and stuff. I know! It sounds a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is emotionally unavailable so I cheated. Now what?
Q. I have been with my bf together for 1.5 years and for the past 6 months, we have been arguing a lot (a weekly basis, and it always ends up with me crying). Things we argue about: him flirting with other girls excessively, him texting other girls ...
A. 26 December 2014: What is there to think about?? Break up with your boyfriend. Now what? Break up with your boyfriend.
You're guilty you cheated?? Break up with your boyfriend.
He is disloyal to you? Break up with your boyfriend.
He's emotionally unav... (read in full...)
My parents are so strict I can't grow my relationship!
Q. I'm 15. Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years now. We go to the same school and are in the same grade but we don't have any classes together. So, we only get to see each other between a few of our classes. Neither of us have our own ...
A. 26 December 2014: Maybe that is your parents' plan that nothing "grows" outside of school, meaning they want you concentrating on your education instead of making opportunities to become sexually active at your age.
I wasn't allowed to date under the age of 16, a... (read in full...)
I need some reassurance before I make a doctor's appointment
Q. Hi. I am a 24 year old female and I'm currently in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We started going out in March this year and everything was perfect( I thought). And we broke up 4 months later cause he didn't trust me. We got together in mid- ...
A. 26 December 2014: You did this because....nothing says "I love you" quite like HIV??
You did this because...you wanted the gift that keeps on giving??
You did this because...you were serious about the last time being the last time with anyone??
The ... (read in full...)
Is he subconsciously trying to impregnate me?
Q. My partner and I had a pregnancy "scare" for want of a better term!!! We decided that we were ready to start trying for a baby in a few months so I have come off birth control pills since last week. We agreed that we would not try and not prevent ...
A. 26 December 2014: If you're trying for a baby, then it isn't subconscious. It's CONSCIOUS. There's a higher chance the more sex you have. If you hadn't wanted to try for a baby until a few months from now, then you should stay on birth control UNTIL a few months ... (read in full...)
Abusive manipulative ex bought me an xmas present. I' ve gone no contact but feel guilty for not saying thanks.
Q. Dear all. Happy Christmas!! Please advise. Thanks. I jave recently finally got out of a long horrid relationship with a guy My feelngs have almost gone, and I'm doing ok. Anyway, to get to this point I decided no contact was best, so changed ...
A. 26 December 2014: I agree - he is a master if he added his sister.
I'd send a card addressed to his sister, thanking his sister for the present. I'm guessing that she had nothing to do with the present, and that he thought that you'd send it back if it was just... (read in full...)
I want to stay calm and be rational but something doesn't add up. Are the texts really innocent?
Q. My boyfriend is a friendly guy but he takes it too far with women he doesn't know well. When we were going through a bad patch he struck up a friendship with his new single neighbour and she then came on to him despite knowing about me and this ...
A. 26 December 2014: What do you mean by "confiding in her too much"?? And why do you have an "open policy" with your phones?? Did he cheat on you? If he cheated on you, why are you still with him??
Relationship are build on MUTUAL trust. It's a trust violatio... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loses interest in a girl if she puts out too soon.
Q. So my boyfriend has this "thing" where he loses interest in girls if she puts out too soon. I know this because we were friends for a long time before dating. And he would meet a girl, he seemed interested cause he would even tell us, "I met this ...
A. 19 December 2014: It's a bit of a stereotype, the old "He won't respect you in the morning" thing. Sexual values take many forms, and truly, only your boyfriend can answer that question because we don't know his side of the issue.
However, I would strongly... (read in full...)
I'm dating someone with kids so that means I'll be alone for all the holidays and events happening in his family
Q. I've always gotten good advice here before so I'm back again. I'm just wondering why it is so hard to be ina relationship with somebody who has baggage? Has anybody been in this situation before? Maybe dated somebody that has kids? It's very hard ...
A. 18 December 2014: Why does he have to be around her??? If they are apart, he has time with the kids as well as she does. Many relationships with children work out custody without ever having to spend time together.
You didn't tell me how long you have been tog... (read in full...)
I'm a cheater trapped in a sexless marriage and my wife has cancer. I'm at a breaking point here...help me please!
Q. My wife and I have had a sexless marriage since shortly after marriage in 2003. This made me feel alone and unwanted so I started cheating to fill this void. Everything else in our relationship was fine and we had two children within a few years. ...
A. 18 December 2014: Is your wife in remission? Is her breast cancer gone?? Is she still dealing with chemo or radiation?? Two years is a long time to fight it, and I don't know what I would do if my marriage was sexless.
You are in a pickle. You cheating did noth... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 18 December 2014: "He mentioned as X-girlfriend and actually said "She never complained about waiting for me. She would help out with my chores or clean or do something productive while I was getting around.""
He *SAID* that to you?! So basically, not only is ... (read in full...)
Does clothing really play a part in attractiveness?
Q. Does clothing really play a part in your attractiveness? I come from a relatively 'poor' or woking middle class family. While I've never had to worry about going to bed on an empty stomach and have always attended quality schools, my family income...
A. 18 December 2014: Who said Rockport? 5 stars just for saying it! :)... (read in full...)
He's never made me reach orgasm!
Q. Hi, I have a problem and I think it's really superficial but it's driving me mad. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he's everything I could ask for except he's never made me reach orgasm. Also, he has an incredibly low sex ...
A. 18 December 2014: Your problem is absolutely NOT superficial at all! It's extremely important and valid!
I'm glad you said that you can bring yourself to orgasm in minutes, because that's half the battle. Many women can't or have never tried who come on here wit... (read in full...)
Annoyed with his manipulative ex
Q. Let me start this by saying that my new boyfriend is wonderful. I'm 34 years old and have never met anyone so perfect for me in all of my life. He goes out of his way to do things for me. This weekend I had to be away for a business trip and he ...
A. 17 December 2014: You don't think it's wrong for him to keep contact with his ex, especially if she's trying to get him back, and he's sucking up the attention??
There are only three reasons you would ever think of saying that:
1. You still keep contact with exe... (read in full...)
Does clothing really play a part in attractiveness?
Q. Does clothing really play a part in your attractiveness? I come from a relatively 'poor' or woking middle class family. While I've never had to worry about going to bed on an empty stomach and have always attended quality schools, my family income...
A. 17 December 2014: It depends upon the type of guy you're attracted to. For example, a guy who likes casual, blue collar, outdoorsy get-dirty as a lifestyle would prefer a girl who looks as lived-in as he is, and would eschew a porcelain over-makeupped person who ... (read in full...)
Annoyed with his manipulative ex
Q. Let me start this by saying that my new boyfriend is wonderful. I'm 34 years old and have never met anyone so perfect for me in all of my life. He goes out of his way to do things for me. This weekend I had to be away for a business trip and he ...
A. 17 December 2014: I forgot to add - would he be as sanguine if you had an ex-fiance you stayed in contact with where you kept having long, deep, emotional conversations with?? Would he be understanding, or would he have visions of your body shuddering under his ... (read in full...)
Annoyed with his manipulative ex
Q. Let me start this by saying that my new boyfriend is wonderful. I'm 34 years old and have never met anyone so perfect for me in all of my life. He goes out of his way to do things for me. This weekend I had to be away for a business trip and he ...
A. 17 December 2014: His actions paint him to be a liar when it comes to her.
If she really had "blown through all of her chances", he would have nothing to do with her and would cut off all communication in disgust. The fact that he keeps it open means she hasn't r... (read in full...)
Why is he allowed to complain and I'm not?
Q. Hi my partner is quite complex we have been together nearly 3 years and have a 2 year old son. Ok so I go to college and work and pay for everything in the home my partner is currently unemployed and hasn't really looked for a job either. I'm not ...
A. 16 December 2014: When you go to college and work, who is watching your 2-year old son?? Do you put him in day care, have your parents or in-laws watching him, or does he watch him?? If it your boyfriend is watching your son, that is a contribution. If he's home ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a gamer and I don't know how to deal with his hours, suggestions would be helpful!
Q. I have a bit of a problem.. My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost two years now. I'm 25 and he's 24. Our relationship started out as long-distance for eight months until he moved away from his small home town, family, friends, and a j...
A. 16 December 2014: Here's how I see this...
He was unfaithful by communicating with other women while with you. It sounds like his "crimes" had to do with internet online communication.
So, I'm wondering why he no longer is able to go out with friends if that ... (read in full...)
My husband had the following conversation with the woman he slept with behind my back. Please tell me what you think of it
Q. I'm writing this post because i found something which has concerned me a bit. I have been married for a little over a year and things have been going fine, at least, i thought so. Before we got married my husband slept with another woman be...
A. 15 December 2014: He's been cheating behind your back the entire time. That conversation is him telling her that he wants to be a sex buddy and her wanting more from him.
Either way, it's crap. Tell him to shove the marriage up his ass, and then you walk.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 15 December 2014: One more thing - if he's just jumping in the shower, don't MAKE a show of leaving. Just slip out. You can leave him a note as you go, but don't say "Alright, then I'm leaving" inviting a huge fight. Just go. You hear the shower on, and you're ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by keeping me waiting.
Q. I will keep this short. My boyfriend does not see anything wrong with keeping me waiting. I will say "I can be to your house at 7, does that sound good"?He will say yes and a lot of the time when I get there he is just getting in the shower. He ...
A. 15 December 2014: When you were first dating, was he on time?? And - if he has a job, does he report to it on time?? In my opinion, if he has no problem showing up to work or a doctor's appointment at the appointed time, doing the same thing for you should be a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he thinks it's disrespectful to finger a girl. How can I encourage him to consider it as part of lovemaking?
Q. My boyfriend says he thinks it's disrespectful to finger a girl and that he's never done it. I think the disrespect thing is a cop out. I don't get it. He says he never has and never will. It's a big deal for me because it's a way to be intimate...
A. 15 December 2014: If he says he "never has and never will", to me that would be a dealbreaker. I'd rather have someone try it a couple of times and both people deciding it's a no go rather than someone who rigidly says "forget it" and give some half-ass excuse.
... (read in full...)
I snooped, found something I didn't like about my boyfriend, and now what??? ADVICE please!!
Q. Been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. We currently live together; have been for 2 years. We also have a 1 year old together! The first two years of our relationship was a long distance one. We lived three hours apart and we saw each other f...
A. 11 December 2014: I'm going to ask you the only question that matters now:
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?!?
I loathe caps for a very good reason, but given your emotional shattering of his past, it's the only thing I can think of to draw you back into the present... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay for her martinis and lobster plate.
Q. I have a question on what to do in this situation., We go out once a month with my girlfriends. we usually split the check equally., We noticed long ago that one of the girls when we re out orders in exess. By that I mean: she orders always t...
A. 10 December 2014: OP = re: server's extra efforts to separate checks...
Add a little extra on your gratuity to compensate if you feel that way. You'll still save a lot more not carrying your friend who is taking advantage of you.... (read in full...)
How do we rebuild trust after this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had an argument about 5 weeks ago now as I found messages on his phone to other girls. Messages like 'Hey Sexy', a picture of a girl with no top on and his reply was 'now thats hot' and other stuff. We had a chat and we both...
A. 10 December 2014: Did he explain WHY he did it?? And, who are these girls he was doing that to? Where did he know them or meet them or see them??
If it were my husband doing that, those are the questions I'd be asking, and I wouldn't accept "I don't know why I di... (read in full...)
He isn't willing to spend New Years with me and his friends because his ex will be there. Am I overreacting?
Q. Dear Cupid, Going to try and keep things to the point. I am 22, the guy I am involved with is also 22. We are not in a relationship but that is what we're working towards, there have been a few hiccups in our situation which is why we aren't o...
A. 10 December 2014: You have a big issue here. You are in a no-strings friend-with-benefits deal with him. You're not in a relationship with him, and FWB's aren't "Working towards a relationship", especially if he's having sex with others while he's with you.
Your ... (read in full...)
How much angry behavior is too much?
Q. How far is too far? My husband got really mad this morning. I'm a house wife and I'll admit I'm not the best at keeping up with everything. I had two loads of laundry in baskets on the floor this morning. I had folded one load and just needed ...
A. 10 December 2014: If this is a common occurrence where he trashes things when he loses his temper, it's no wonder you hadn't gotten a chance to put away clothes. I would have left the mess he made that morning and demanded he clean it up when he got home from work. ... (read in full...)
I think this is disprespectful -- am I right?
Q. Girlfriend told me that another guy has been touching her butt in school and she basically just lets him smack it! I feel so betrayed by this. Dnt I have the right? Is this not super disrespectful? ...
A. 9 December 2014: What is her attitude towards the guy doing this to her?? If he's a friend and she likes it, then it's VERY disrespectful and would be close to if a girl came up and playfully grabbed your "package".
If she's uncomfortable by it and is too scar... (read in full...)
I don't want to pay for her martinis and lobster plate.
Q. I have a question on what to do in this situation., We go out once a month with my girlfriends. we usually split the check equally., We noticed long ago that one of the girls when we re out orders in exess. By that I mean: she orders always t...
A. 9 December 2014: Definitely separate checks - I'm with the consensus. If she asks why, explain that splitting fair way doesn't work when one person's bill is much higher than the others. She shouldn't be doing that without offering to kick in a bit more in the ... (read in full...)
My visiting a strip club upset my girlfriend ... how do I fix this?
Q. I need help fixing things with my girlfriend. Over the last few months she has gone off sex quite a bit and we only really have it once a week just now. She's been to the doctor who said she is physically fine so it might be stress or something. ...
A. 9 December 2014: You *do* realize that what you did was, in fact, cheating on her, right?? All of the ones here who are suggesting that he stop apologizing aren't seeing this from every angle.
You said that you paid for another woman to turn you on, right? ... (read in full...)
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