How do I lose this desperation vibe?
Q. I need to stop obsessing over girls. I'm still a virgin, even though I've been in a relationship and dated a handful of girls. Despite having a lot going on in my life and confidence in many things I do, I dont seem to have it with girls. I have ...
A. 19 September 2014: First of all, congratulations on becoming fit and improving yourself! That's actually one way to connect if you like it...many people have met at various fitness or sports activities because staying fit is a common and celebrated goal.
Secon... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f of 6 years about my drunk mistake?
Q. Help I got drunk I usually can control myself but this time I had a slight interest in another girl got drunk we got a little handsie immediately after I was and am ashamed of myself but I put a stop to further action ive been in a relationship for ...
A. 18 September 2014: What does "a little handsie" mean? That's vague. If it meant that you hugged her and liked it a little too much, or did you fondle her breasts while making out?? Did her hands touch places on you they shouldn't? And what were your lips doing?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't give me money for an emergency, only advice!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't help me in emergency situations when I need financial help but only gives me a bunch of advices. He spends a lot of money for himself to buy luxury goods like Apple IPhone 5 etc. Is he a good partner?...
A. 17 September 2014: If money ever enters a relationship, it's destroyed.
Never tap a boyfriend for money for any reason whatsoever. Never give money to a boyfriend.
He isn't obligated to help you financially, and even to ask is to weaken yourself in his eyes, and... (read in full...)
We're no longer together but I was offended by his actions
Q. I went to a wedding recently with an ex bf. we didn't go as a couple but we went together because we were both invited, our mutual friends would be there as well. during the wedding I noticed him talking to this girl on the dance floor. then I saw ...
A. 15 September 2014: Your answer is found in your own words:
"but you know that feeling in your stomach you get when you notice the man you love flirting. "
I noticed that you use the present tense of "love" in stead of "used to love". You're not over him, so as ... (read in full...)
His ex paid for his college and housing, now she wants him to do the same!
Q. I’m almost 26 and my bf is 27, his ex is 29. A little background first; his ex helped him get through University as a full time student while she took care of the expenses of their house and his fees. When they split up after 6 years of relationship ...
A. 14 September 2014: I actually LIKE being disagreed with, Cindy. ;)
I want to point out what most people here are missing, and it is a US thing:
Unless she is a rich person, she didn't pay his college tuition. AND, living circumstances often change the amoun... (read in full...)
Can my mom and her new husband really change my name? I don't want them to!
Q. My dad die when i was ten, and for 2 years it was just me and mum. I still miss my dad. Mum made a new friend Dave, he is okay actually and i get along great with him. After a while we all started holidaying together and then Dave moved in with us. ...
A. 14 September 2014: First of all, I am so terribly sorry about you losing your dad. I lost my dad a year ago, and there is a lot I do to honor him and his memory. I can never in this life call anyone else Dad, and I miss him more today than I did the day he died.
... (read in full...)
His ex paid for his college and housing, now she wants him to do the same!
Q. I’m almost 26 and my bf is 27, his ex is 29. A little background first; his ex helped him get through University as a full time student while she took care of the expenses of their house and his fees. When they split up after 6 years of relationship ...
A. 14 September 2014: I need to play devil's advocate here, because morally, I see the logic in the other aunts' arguments, and no matter what, your boyfriend is a guy of integrity.
This is a grayer area than you might think, and it's the very reason WHY finances... (read in full...)
Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...
A. 14 September 2014: I dated, fell in love with, and married a guy who had never even kissed another woman before me. I have dated former "experienced" guys as well. It's not experience, but a willingness to learn and get really good. People (guys and girls) mistake ... (read in full...)
Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...
A. 13 September 2014: Yikes! Very sorry about that. This was for another post!
... (read in full...)
Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...
A. 13 September 2014: Stop posting and start dating! You've had enough attention on here already. Posting question after question about hating women and stuff...when is enough enough?... (read in full...)
He rejected me but still flirts
Q. My guy friend had rejected me and when he rejected me I was really devastated but know he flirts with me and when I wore pants with ripped knees he kept touching my leg and tried to put his fingers up under my pants where my pants were ripped and he ...
A. 13 September 2014: Actually, the correct word for what he's doing is "Groping".
He's doing it to arouse himself sexually by using you.
Tell him to take a hike.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is acting not right!
Q. I'm a gay male dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. I have introduced him as my BF, Other half, Husband. When it comes to his coworkers he introduces me as his roommate. This has been going on since we meet. He doesn't want me to touch him at work ...
A. 13 September 2014: He may be very private regarding his sexuality due to a repressive upbringing and/or a traumatic experience in his past or fear of one.
And I'll say this, you get to learn on an XBOX or PS4 online community that the dregs of civilization come on ... (read in full...)
My wife wants a bi sexual thing and has no idea I know it.
Q. I've been good friends with a married couple for many years. I knew her well long before he came into her life and before I knew my wife. My wife and her developed a close friendship which I didn't mind at all. This woman told me my wife is bi ...
A. 12 September 2014: You'd know EXACTLY what to do if you had a report that your wife offered her body to another MAN, right?? Cheating is cheating, no matter what the gender.
What are you waiting for? Do you feel you need MORE proof of your wife's cheating ways? T... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my hatred and bitterness towards women?
Q. How do I remove my hatred and bitterness towards women for them expecting guys to make the first move? Doing the approaching and asking out, initiating/escalating, taking the lead? I hate this one sided dynamic with a huge passion, even though I am ...
A. 12 September 2014: Hey! Guess what?! Women have testosterone as well, in case you failed Biology.
Now I'm going to challenge you:
Are you here to get advice and either act on it or employ another method of finding a partner, or are you merely here to have us ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to consider porn cheating?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years and the relationship is going pretty well so far. The only thing that really bothers me, and I have expressed myself, is the fact he watches porn on his days off while I'm at work. In my ...
A. 12 September 2014: Oh, CindyCares and Honeypie are VERY much correct. Read the Bible, there's a lot of graphic references to sex in there (even incest! Abraham married his half-sister)...as well as books like the Caunterbury Tales by William Chaucer, and many books ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my hatred and bitterness towards women?
Q. How do I remove my hatred and bitterness towards women for them expecting guys to make the first move? Doing the approaching and asking out, initiating/escalating, taking the lead? I hate this one sided dynamic with a huge passion, even though I am ...
A. 12 September 2014: Men don't "enforce" anything by being the initiator. They just know what they want and have the testosterone to go after it. That's like asking why dogs will chase cars or mailmen...because they want to!
Confidence is attractive to everyone... (read in full...)
Do you think I should've had sex with him?
Q. Please help me!!! I had been going out with this guy for 2 years until he dumped me round 7-8 months ago. The reason for this was because he asked me if I'd have sex with him and I said no because we're waaayyy too young, (we're both 13) He sai...
A. 11 September 2014: You did the RIGHT thing!
If he loved you, he wouldn't pressure you. If he loved you, he wouldn't call you "pathetic" for not giving him sex. I'm curious as to what his age is, because if you two were together and you were 11, does this mean tha... (read in full...)
Is me sending my boyfriend pictures of me in my sports bra okay?
Q. Hi :) I'm 15 going to be 16 soon. I am not exactly sure but like I've sent a number of pics of me in my sports bra to my boyfriend.... It sounds kinda stupid of me... But it also got me questioning if it's okay to actually do that? ...
A. 9 September 2014: You're 15! That's child pornography if he's caught with your pictures. Never send pictures. Ever. Not ever.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend choked me in an argument and I'm extremely disturbed. What do I do?
Q. I got into a silly tussle/fight with my fiancé a few months ago. She had been moody and snappy with me and her parents all day. At the end of the night I got fed up with her horrible attitude and said I was leaving for the night. As I s...
A. 9 September 2014: It's been a few months?? That rules out calling the police, which is what should have happened.
You were physically abused. You're really out of sorts because you don't hear a lot about girls abusing their boyfriends/husbands, but it happens ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner about guys hitting on me?
Q. A guy from one of my college classes walked me to my car the other day (10 mins out of his way). He asked if I was single, I said no, he suggested he was interested. I took it as a compliment. Since then I helped him out with a class he missed, sent ...
A. 9 September 2014: If you're considering whether or not to "tell" someone something, how about telling this guy that you are in a relationship with someone else?? The best way to deal with this is to shoot down this guy with no hope for him whatsoever. The fact that ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my hatred and bitterness towards women?
Q. How do I remove my hatred and bitterness towards women for them expecting guys to make the first move? Doing the approaching and asking out, initiating/escalating, taking the lead? I hate this one sided dynamic with a huge passion, even though I am ...
A. 8 September 2014: Geeze. You're in a Catch-22, aren't you?? You don't want to be alone, yet you hate women and are bitter towards them? Hating them or being bitter towards them is your condition. You deal with it by choosing not to hate women or be bitter towards ... (read in full...)
Should I Start To Pay?
Q. Hi I am married and my husband is not so rich. He works really hard to provide for me and and our child. Money is a hardship for him. However I have 30,000 pounds in savings. I haven't mentioned it to my husband as this was before we got mar...
A. 6 September 2014: To amend my last post, there *is* one exception to the community property rule in terms of sums or caches of money in UK law, and that is in the instance of living trusts or inheritances. That is not subject to divorce proceedings split and ... (read in full...)
Should I Start To Pay?
Q. Hi I am married and my husband is not so rich. He works really hard to provide for me and and our child. Money is a hardship for him. However I have 30,000 pounds in savings. I haven't mentioned it to my husband as this was before we got mar...
A. 6 September 2014: You don't get it, do you??
It's *not* "do I pay or does he pay his own way"...
There isn't "you pay" or "he pays" in a marriage. Your household income is combined now. It's now "We pay" or "We don't pay". There is no "you", and "I".
Did ... (read in full...)
Should I Start To Pay?
Q. Hi I am married and my husband is not so rich. He works really hard to provide for me and and our child. Money is a hardship for him. However I have 30,000 pounds in savings. I haven't mentioned it to my husband as this was before we got mar...
A. 5 September 2014: Let me start by answering your question with a question:
How would you feel if you found out that your husband was hiding half of his income from you, giving you the impression that he isn't so rich, yet he has hidden investments that he withhold... (read in full...)
Re-precautions of being a Turkish husband wanting to divorce wife with one child?
Q. Please anyone out there who could answer this question. What would be the reason as why a man with a child who claims to be separated from his wife, still wants to stay married to his estranged wife? He is of Turkish background. His excuse is ...
A. 4 September 2014: Listen, if he is still married, and he's saying these things so that you will have sex with him, then you need to see right through it. The stuff you're writing on here that he's saying is Stuff Cheater's Say to Groom Their Mistresses 101.
1. "... (read in full...)
What can I do with the mixed signals ?
Q. Hi - what do i do with a guy who gives mixed signals on a daily basis ? He gave me his silver ring and put it on my " engagement " finger after dating me for six months ...then the next day he asked for it back ! he is divorced so maybe he is being ...
A. 3 September 2014: Let me ask you this, and I'm not asking in a judgmental manner, when he gave you a ring to wear on your "engagement finger", did you sleep with him afterwards? Also, does he tend to run full-on passionate with the idea of getting you into the sack? ... (read in full...)
I'm irritated that this girl who is pretty vile personality wise and isn't even that attractive seems to have my crush attracted to her
Q. I feel pretty stupid writing to an agony aunt site but i feel like i have nobody i can talk to about how i'm feeling. There's a guy at work who i have a sort of "crush" on. I've been talk that he likes me, although he's never said it to me. Appare...
A. 3 September 2014: Heh, well then, OP, I shouldn't be married, because I asked the guy out who eventually became my husband. He was so shy, his anxieties had their OWN anxieties when it came to girls! I doubt he would have asked me out had I not simply made the ... (read in full...)
His first weekend out in America and my B/f got a lapdance and kissed a stripper! The trust is completely gone.
Q. My bf and I have been together for 3yrs. He is younger than me. He had the opportunity to go to Florida to study for a year, which I have supported and encouraged. I was, however, aware of all the temptations that would be there in Miami etc for...
A. 2 September 2014: I think getting lap dances and kissing strippers *IS* cheating, and to be honest, I think he wants to break up with you but is too chickenshit to do it properly. Why else would he post his escapades right out in public? He knew you would see them! ... (read in full...)
I'm irritated that this girl who is pretty vile personality wise and isn't even that attractive seems to have my crush attracted to her
Q. I feel pretty stupid writing to an agony aunt site but i feel like i have nobody i can talk to about how i'm feeling. There's a guy at work who i have a sort of "crush" on. I've been talk that he likes me, although he's never said it to me. Appare...
A. 2 September 2014: You should take a lesson from this "vile" girl, because she has something you don't right now - courage. She may be morally bankrupt, but she's going after what she wants.
I'm not saying that you should be like her, but seriously, why are you ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with a younger man and I wanted to hurt his girlfriend so I told her about what we did. I thought this would break them but they're back together. What do I do now?
Q. I've been very stupid. 6 weeks ago I started to talk to a man 11 years younger than myself, he was at work when I met him and I asked for his number for a job that I needed doing in my home. I text him and it started off innocently, I ne...
A. 2 September 2014: This is about your ego. You had the affair with the younger guy to show yourself that you "still got it" and can compete with younger seemingly more beautiful women.
You wanted to take him from his girlfriend of 4 years, which is also about eg... (read in full...)
I would like the power difference in our relationship to even out. Any suggestions on how to do this?
Q. I started seeing my boyfriend over a year ago, we've been official since December last year. Despite the fact that we have both been in relationships which have lasted longer, we have both discussed how this is our most serious relationship to date ...
A. 2 September 2014: Why is this a power issue? He doesn't control your life, career, friends, money, clothes, or dreams, does he? I fail to see where power has a play in this.
I know, it feels like he's the more aloof one in the relationship, which makes it feel ... (read in full...)
Are soulmates even real?
Q. Hi everyone, my mind has been all over the place lately and i just wanted to ask you some questions about soulmates. Does anyone out there believe they have found their soulmate? Maybe you thought you did but then realised afterwards that they cudnt ...
A. 2 September 2014: I completely despise the term "soulmate". The term sets my teeth on edge because to me, it has an obsessive neediness and unrealistic burden of expectations that ultimately cripple any relationship where the term is used for.
The concept of soulm... (read in full...)
Please advice me on how to make the separation and divorce as painless as possible for my son
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband cheated on me. He doesnt know why. To be honest Internet dont wanna hear it either. Maybe life was too perfect and he got bored. His own fault. He sleeps in the guest room until I can ...
A. 1 September 2014: Sometimes, the advice is easier than we want it to be. The answer to your question is simply to get the process over with. Separate the emotions of betrayal from the process of separation/divorce.
You have had your time of emotional pain and... (read in full...)
My Bf calls me insulting nasty names. I want to leave him. What can I do to ensure my future is happier?
Q. My fiancé accuses me of cheating every single day. He heard me get raped. Ever since then he has accused me of cheating. He constantly calls me a "c**t, a stupid worthless piece of s**t" and all these other fowl things. He expects me to tell him...
A. 1 September 2014: You don't need a guy to have a happy future. This guy is horrific, and you are NOT happy with him. Drop him. What does it matter if he accuses you of cheating? Kick him to the curb, and his accusations are worthless. You know that you don't ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that my Bf wants to watch porn when he's getting oral? Leaves me feeling hurt.
Q. Sorry the Q is a bit long but I need to give you all the details, I really need your help!!! My boyfriend and I have an almost perfect sex life. Last night we came back very drunk from the club and started playing around for fun in order to have...
A. 1 September 2014: He was very drunk, which disrupts and delays orgasm. He misinterpreted your statements about being okay with porn as it being a tool during partner sex. He wanted to use it in the same way you might use a vibrator to add extra stimulation. It ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Mom the things my cousin has shared with me about my father and the affair my father is having?
Q. My cousin [We'll call him R] came with me today with news that really shocked me. He told me my dad has been seeing a woman he graduated with who has a lot of money. The other day, R came to my house (I still live with my parents) and I wasn't the...
A. 27 August 2014: Honestly, it sounds like some blackout drunk's fantasy. If your dad is asking your cousin to take him for more beer because he was too drunk to drive, then all of that blathering could have been ramblings under the influence.
If you were to talk ... (read in full...)
Want my best friend to fancy me but I am in happy relationship?
Q. I met both my best friend and boyfriend on dating websites. I have known both for about a year and a half and my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. My boyfriend is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I love him to bits and ...
A. 21 August 2014: You're not going to like hearing this, but if you feel this way about your best friend, then now, every moment you spend with him is an act of disloyalty and emotional infidelity towards your boyfriend.
You don't keep people you have feelings... (read in full...)
I want to take up playing the drums like my dad but my mom will refuse because dad wasn't really the best role model for us. What do I do?
Q. This is an unusual question but- I'm a 15 year old girl and I want to take up playing the drums. I've been thinking about this for a while so it's not a 'spur of the moment ' thing. The only problem is that my dad is a professional drummer and he ...
A. 19 August 2014: That's a tough one. Both of my brothers are drummers (my older a rock drummer and my younger an orchestral timpanist/percussionist who currently plays in an Irish folk band) and I can play them passably, so I have the opposite of your mom - a soft ... (read in full...)
I was bullied in school and can't seem to let go of my anger!
Q. As a child, I was bullied at primary school, and my first years of secondary school. I am an adult now, and yet I still seem to be harbouring a lot of anger for the childhood bullies. I frequently get feelings like how dare they have treated me like ...
A. 19 August 2014: I can give you advice, because I was bullied as an early adolescent in middle school. Coupled with excess severe physical punishment at home, and I know everything about the anger you're feeling. It's this twisting, burning, fury that makes you ... (read in full...)
They say your first kiss is your best, how do I get over the fact that I'm not my boyfriend's first?
Q. This is driving me insane....can anyone help please? So me and my bf are in love but recently I've been getting really insecure about his past especially the fact that I wasn't his first kiss but he was mine. It never bothered me before but I accide...
A. 18 August 2014: Actually, you've misread the saying entirely.
The "First kiss is the best" means "the first kiss with THAT PERSON" is the best. Doesn't mean your first kiss with your first person. It means your first kiss in a new relationship is the best.
... (read in full...)
What can I do with this rather odd employee?
Q. Hello. I am a manager for a small store that has about 20 employees, most of whom are full-time. They tend to have consistent shifts/days, and most people have been there for 2-3 years so they are a pretty tight-knit group. I have hired some new ...
A. 18 August 2014: Yeah, I do. You have a clique. Unless this new employee is being unprofessional or making mistakes that hurt the company, then she isn't the problem. The non-workplace drama with the invites, cruelty, 6th grade Mean Girl behavior is what is ... (read in full...)
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