A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I know this is gonna sound childish and all but here's the thing: I'm getting married in a few months. It's gonna be a very intimate ceremony with just my fiancé and I plus the witnesses and a bunch of friends. Problem is, my fiancé's witness is married to a really pretty, smart and skinny girl who's also funny and truly amazingly gorgeous- kinda like a model. I know her and she's nice, laid back and fun... problem is... I'm just scared she's gonna steal my thunder at my own wedding because she'll be stunning and way better-looking than me. I know this is horribly childish, but this is how I feel! Do you think I'm being childish? How should I deal with it? Is this even an issue or is this all in my head? Thank you everyone!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): How did it go?!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012): Seriously you should just be happy on your wedding day and that you have a great guy who wants to spend his life with you! This is your day to make vows and- it's not a competition to see who can look better- this the first day of your new life with your love, just enjoy and glow! Be happy to have nice people there, who are also beautiful, to share that happiness with you- that is what they're there to do.
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A
male
reader, landomando  +, writes (1 March 2012):
After watching like brides mades and well any movie with a wedding, I am surprised that she is even on your mind!!!! lol I think you have more things to be worried about like the cake, or family coming, or your dress, or the future, with your soon to be husband then to care about this girl!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 Find out to which hair salon she's going for the wedding, then bribe her hairstylist with a hefty sum to give her a horrible haircut or dye her hair purple " by accident " :)
Just kidding.
Nobody will steal your thunder on your wedding day, you'll be the star, all eyes will be on you, I promise you, and most of all your husbands' eyes will only be on you, he would not notice your model-type guest even if she should show up wearing only her underwear .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Other people may notice her, but what really matters is that your husband you'll probably only have eyes for you, which is what really matters... Enjoy your big day and don't care too much about other people and what they think.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 February 2012):
 Turn it into fancy dress and make everyone wear a mask?
Seriously, though, you will be aglow and no one will be able to take their eyes off you.
I would tackle that self-esteem issue head on though; there will always be more beautiful, more handsome, more fit, more _______ (fill in the blank with desirable attributes) women than you. This even goes for Angelina Jolie (who is a bit too think in the arms right now) or any other female celebrity.
Looks fade over time, what shines through is the quality of your spirit. I am serious about this. I know some physically gorgeous women who are miserable because they are looking for happiness in the wrong places. This misery translates to them living chaotic and dramatic lives, without peace and without joy.
Now, you've described her as a lovely woman both inside and out. Look on her as a fabulous addition to your wonderful day and embrace her presence. She makes your friend happy? Great! Throw open your heart to her and throw open your heart to all your guest and you will be utterly stunning. No lie.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 February 2012):
 IF she's really nice, laid back and fun and you know her then yes it's all in your head and you are perfectly normal.
I can PROMISE you that Angelina Jolie would not outshine you at your wedding.... there is something spectacular about a bride and her glow that outshines even the most stunning of women...
Are you close enough to maybe take her to lunch and talk about the wedding and find out what she's wearing etc... and maybe talk about your nerves and how perfect you want it to be?
I bet she looks in the mirror and says "I'm fat, my skin sags, my boobs sag, etc etc etc... " for all you know she's jealous of you getting married.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 February 2012):
 You have to keep your eyes on what's the most important at your wedding. It's not an attention pageant, it's a celebration of the marriage and life commitment between you and your soon-to-be-husband. Everyone invited is there to see YOU and your guy. They're giving gifts to you. They're official witnesses.
Unless your fiance's witness's wife and you are going to duel to the death over your fiance, then she's not going to steal your attention. Remember, it's not about attention. It's about your marriage. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world capable of causing men to fall to their knees, but she isn't the one getting married. People aren't assembling for her.
The issue is your insecurity, and I don't mean that as a flaw in you. You simply need to re-focus the reason for the event. At the end, you will be married to the man you love, and no matter how pretty this woman is...your fiance fell to his knees for you, and this is a life commitment that so utterly transcends anything to do with the looks of your witness in 2012.
Stay focused. This is yours and your husband's day, and everyone's there for you, not her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Nobody is going to even notice her except maybe one or two horny bachelors at the wedding after they've stopped checking you out. Even her own husband won't even be looking at her. This is you and your soon-to-be husbands wedding, everyone else is there to pay you attention and celebrate with you. She could turn up fully nude and painted green and she'd still be the second thing anyone notices after you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): No your not being childish,its a real problem to you, its your big day so everythings magnified
If this girls as nice as you say then there is no way she will want to deliberately steal your thunder. The weddings about you and your partner, everyone knows its the brides day and you will be who they look at, you will look beautiful and all eyes will be on you.Please believe this.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (29 February 2012):
 It's your wedding, all eyes will be on you! Don't worry about it!
It's proper etiquette that everyone dresses down to emphasize the bride. If she doesn't dress down, she looks like an attention whore, so really, don't worry about it :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Well it is your big day, so all eyes will be on you not her!
I understand where you are coming from, but think about it like this, you partner wants to marry you and in his eyes you are all that too!
There will always be prettier, skinnier, smarter women, that you and your partner will come across in life, also uglier, fatter and thicker ever thought of that? lol!? So why even try to compete? You are unique, you are you, you have a man than loves you and wants/is marrying you...stop trying to keep up with the Jones' so to speak...!!
Oh an enjoy your day!
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