A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi im a 45yr woman been with my partner almost 6yrs he play pc games every night in the bedroom we have not had sex in 8 months there is no intimacy at all not even a cuddle i have discussed about the pc but he dosent care its so awkard now that i would feel uncomfortable even trying to make a move on him now i feel like we are brother and sister not partners anymore we do nothing at all together i dont know what to do
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 IF you have talked to him and he does not care, possibly it's time to consider ending the relationship (even if it's just long enough for him to realize what he's doing in losing you) It seems drastic but it sounds like it's very bad at your place.
I have a rule in our house (we have written house rules as part of our relationship) and it is NO COMPUTERS in the bedroom. As much as I want to drag my laptop to bed with me sometimes, I just don't.... because while we have a TV in our room we need to have it be a retreat for US and the computer brings others to our room.
My fiancé is a huge MMO player. He plays City of Heroes... and I encourage him to play every night as a way to unwind. I do expect him to come to bed at a reasonable hour and I do expect him to have dinner with me at the table most nights. And he does. Occasionally (like last night) we had plans and the game and time got away from him and he came to bed too late... but MOST nights he makes time for me.
AND we cuddle and kiss daily even if we are not having sex daily... we have affection and attention.
IF you have talked to him and he will not change, he may need to see what happens when you actually are not there... do you have friends you can stay with for a bit to let him get a taste of life without you?
He may change... he may not but he won't change if he's not forced....
A
male
reader, joeyb67p +, writes (5 March 2012):
 The fizz has fizzled. I was in a 13 year marriage and I would good months without having sex with my wife and play video games. It's not that I wasn't attracted to her or that I didn't like sex. It's just that I was not feeling it - whatever IT is.I guess we slowly drifted apart. She was kind of cold, not into a lot of affection and that made me feel less encouraged so to speak.I suggest getting back to the basics and doing the things that you did when you fell in love in the first place. You know that magical time when you can't wait to see each other and you have so much sex that things start hurting.People think that things naturally have to slow down after the initial connection glow wears off. I think that there is no reason for things to get stale or boring or routine.So, demand date nights, and romance, and cuddling - and everything you need, want and desire. Do things that drove him wild in the beginning - be demanding and serving. Enjoy each other.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 March 2012):
 I think there is more going on here than just PC Games. Most men are wired to want sex and for him to shut you off completely is sounding alarm signals -- at least to me.
Some men can get addicted to gaming. I know I was a World of Warcraft junky for a while. While I didn't neglect things about me, I do know many people's lives revolve around their gaming.
If things are icy in the bedroom, there are a few things you can do about it:
1) Spice things up. Have a date night. Schedule it in advance and make it no ifs / buts or exceptions. Wear something sexy and seduce him like when you were first dating.
2) Have a talk with him. Explain to him that you feel neglected and that his attitude towards you hurts. Explain that you understand his need to do computer games, but he also has an obligation to you. If he is mad about something with you, talk it out.
3) Plan a vacation together. Get him away from the PC. Sometimes that's all it takes to get out of the "home" habit. Even a quick weekend someplace new can rekindle his interest in you.
Finally, I hope you take stock of your relationship. Again, my inner voice is telling me that there is a lot more going on in your relationship than his preoccupation with PC games. Hopefully you can uncover the mystery before it deteriorates any further.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 March 2012):
 You've discussed the PC, but have you pointed out the real issue to him, the lack of physical intimacy that you're really having a problem with?
It's easy to deflect and start an argument about the PC, but that's really not the issue. the PC is only what he's doing instead of being physically close and affectionate with you.
You must have a heart to heart. Don't make his PC gaming the focus of the discussion because it's not the real focus. Make it absolutely clear to him that you feel like you're brother and sister, and that there isn't intimacy or even a cuddle between you two, and that you feel uncomfortable even thinking about making a move.
If, after laying the *real* issue on the line, he doesn't care, then it's time to move on. But simply having an issue with all the time he spends on his PC isn't facing the real issue. Yes, I know it's a symptom, and it's what you feel is coming between you and intimacy with him, but the issue is intimacy with him.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (4 March 2012):
 You pack your stuff and move out is what you do next.
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