A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Not sure if he was trying to kiss me or take advantage or what.My best friend and I were hanging out at his place when it happened and we have dated before, but it didn't work out and we were better friends than lovers. Well I was at his place and I was upset because he has been avoiding me and was just plain mean to me. As he watched me cry he apologized and every time he touched me I moved away. He finally wrapped his arms around me and told me that he isn't going to hurt me and that he was sorry (wouldn't tell me why he did it) and just held me until I stopped crying. I wasn't looking at him and his hand gripped my chin and he had this "look" in his eyes and came closer but I jerked away. He paused for a minute and then reached out to hold me again and just kissed my forehead and the top of my head. He pulled me onto the bed with him and told me "don't read too much into this" and held me there for a couple of hours before he told me that it was getting late and that I should go.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 February 2012):
 Uhh...it sounds like you're not good friends OR lovers. You're at his house crying and stuff because he was mean and upset you, and his response was to get physical with you?
This is the very reason why being "just friends" with exes is a very bad idea. You can't move on, you have feelings and get upset and analyze behaviors that you never would with a platonic friend, and stuff like this happens. Would you and your best friend who is a girl pull each other onto a bed platonically? Didn't think so, unless you are a bisexual and your best friend is with benefits.
Think of it this way...if you have any hope to move on, you can't be friends with exes. You will be in limbo and will do a whole lot more crying before the end. Also, you won't be able to have someone new who is more than friends in your life while your ex is still in yours. Would you want your boyfriend to be close enough friends with his ex that they're climbing into bed together while spending hours alone at her house? No way!
Think ahead on this one, and it's time to emotionally distance yourself with him, unless you want to be a hanger-on until he dumps you when he gets serious with a girl again.
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