A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really irritates me. Occasionally when he has asked during the day, this has still irritated me. My feeling is, buy your own! He does not think this he is wrong as he pays for meals when he takes me out. I also pay for meals. I dont like anyone helping themselves as I would never to that in someone elses house. Am I right or am I wrong? Please help as he thinks it is an ok thing to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (9 March 2012):
 cut the b.s while it is early.
theres a saying that people from nothern "colder" countries are also colder...as in you normally expect to hear this from someone in england than spain for example....
U are being very technical about this but love has nothing to do with being technical.
So first things first :
1) If you are annoyed by the fact he raids ur fridge, stop paying for meals when u go out. if he asks why, smile and say " Whats the problem? You always eat food at my place and not pay for it. I dont say anything about it". Then change the topic. The negotiation is over :)
2) STOP FEELING AS IF YOU GOTTA OWE HIM SOMETHING OR NOT. Ur a lady so let him treat u as one.
3) as someone else suggested, next time he comes, go grocery shopping together
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): OP I'm confused!
Your quote ...'If during the day he sees me making my son a milkshake he says ' can i have one'? If he sees I have fruit he says 'can i have a banana'? If he sees I have bread he says 'can i take 2 slices'
Your quote... 'I dont have young children i have a 25 yr old autistic son living at home who i have taught to 'ask' before taking as i was always aware that it would be more socially acceptable for him to do that than just 'taking'. If my son can do that and have manners surely it is not too much to expect from a neuro typical man, no??'
You taught your son to 'ask' before taking...Your boyfriend asks befor taking...Sooooooo,what's the problem? Sorry I don't get it? Please explain????
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 March 2012):
 I have found, OP that when a person gives their POV, the things that are important to them are the things they mention. Why do you have this need to feel like everything is fair and square and even. You say you pay for things alternately so you don’t feel like you owe him anything… that’s a business deal not a romantic relationship.
My 27 yr old PDD-NOS son lives in a group home so I get the whole thing about having an autistic child at home… even as an adult it’s difficult with them…
The issue I see is that you complain when he asks and you complain when he doesn’t ask. So which is it?? He asks too much or he doesn’t ask enough… is there anything he does other than sit like a lump that makes you happy? JUST WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING FROM THIS MAN??
When you want something who do you clear it with? Do you ask your son? NO? why not? Oh wait… it’s YOUR home… well YOUR BOYFRIEND feels at HOME at your house and if he’s there every weekend for 6 months he should. BUT you see him as a guest and an intruder and not someone you are close to… so WHAT purpose does this man serve in your life????
IF his neediness put a stop to your love developing why didn’t you end it then? Why are you leading him on and dragging it out??? You need to end it NOW… don’t make him come for the weekend and then end it… you know it’s over… end it now and for his sake.. go NO CONTACT.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 March 2012):
 Well you taught your son how to behave, so why can't you just tell this man how you like it as well? If you aren't telling him then you're expecting him to read your mind. Good luck in trying to find a man with absolutely NO annoying habit. It's a lot easier to deal with a man who has a habit he can easily change (as your boyfriends habit) than find a man whoose habits can't or wont be changed, yet are still annoying to you.
Just tell him how you feel about it. It's really no biggie, he can adjust.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): Thank you all for your time. Just to add , it was not my intention to use the 'single mum' card ( as someone said) i was only just stating the situation. Some of you can be quite cynical! Anyway, We take it in turns to pay for meals when going out, that way I dont feel I owe him anything. I dont have young children i have a 25 yr old autistic son living at home who i have taught to 'ask' before taking as i was always aware that it would be more socially acceptable for him to do that than just 'taking'. If my son can do that and have manners surely it is not too much to expect from a neuro typical man, no?? Also who mentioned the word 'love'! I have never said i love him, it has only been six months not six years plus i only see him at weekends. His 'neediness' puts a stop to any love developing as i do not see this 'need' as attractive. I only find it irritating. So dear friends this guy has shot himself in the foot with me and now needs to go and find himself a woman who finds his habits endearing, thank you all and i mean that x
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (8 March 2012):
I'm betting on this to have nothing to do with the actual food at ALL. I think you are upset, OP, because he eats when he wants without waiting for your approval. It is your home, and like me some years back, you want to have things your way and done your way and food to be eaten YOUR WAY. You'd offer him food when YOU think it is a good time to eat. You dislike him eating at night because YOU DON'T EAT AT NIGHT. You dislike him asking for food between the times YOU would like to eat.
You want his eating pattern to be the exact same as yours. It's about a need for control over your territory. You can blame it all you want on manners, or single mom, or kid's food, but it isn't about all that.
You just want him to eat when you allow him to eat, and not at other times. YOU are the one treaing HIM as a child. He is acting like an adult: he eats when he is hungry and he uses his own judgement on when he should eat or not. A child on the other hand needs to be offered and served.
Sure, if he was a GUEST you'd expect him to wait until served. That'd be good manners. But he isn't a guest, and that's what you need to get over. He is your boyfriend, and he is old enough to decide for himself when he should or shouldn't eat.
And you are old enough to communicate with him. Put words on how you feel, be polite, and ask him if he can humour you by waiting until you offer him food. But I highly recommend you let this go so you and him can get on with your lives and your relationship.
He isn't eating you out of the house. You can afford having him eat at yours. And he isn't taking your kid's food. If you want something reserved then put it at it's own shelf in the fridge and tell him that that food is off limits. Simple, and no need for drama.
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reader, Miamine +, writes (8 March 2012):
 Just remembered something....my mum once dated this handsome guy, and although she's known for feeding everyone, including the homeless, she complained about him eating her food. She gave him the number of a Chinese restaurant and told him to call that.
I found it very strange, it's not her normal behaviour. She found him handsome, but she didn't actually like anything else about him, and that was the problem. The food issue was only a way of her saying she didn't want to date the guy. He was soon gone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012):
Maybe he should just take you out , pay for everything, take you home,have Sex,
Then leave you, go back to his with a cheery wave so he can eat his own food in the night
and your cupboards stay untouched
Or just finish it because your so not compatable, you don't love him x
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 March 2012):
 I don't think we're talking about the boyfriend grabbing boxes of cereal of pounds of meat and taking them home with him, or taking frozen foods or deodorant or laundry detergent out of your house.
He's staying for the weekend, and they've been dating 6 months. A "guest" asks for a drink, but a boyfriend of 6 months staying overnight having to ask whether he can have a snack? That's absurd!
Now you're saying "Single mom" as if that makes you a victim? Sorry, but this isn't the guy for you if you're feeling this way after 6 months. He's not coming over constantly asking to borrow food. He's over to your house on the weekends. He's buying you dinner out. I'm thinking that if you were staying at his house on weekends, he'd happily open his home to you if you felt hungry.
I don't know, but it just feels like your attitude towards him is that even though he's staying at your house because you don't want to leave your kid alone (meaning he's accommodating you), you're splitting hairs over the food? How far apart do you live? Is he spending money in gas to drive to your house every weekend? Why aren't you spending weekends at his house?
I just don't think you love this guy. If the two of you were living together and you were footing the entire grocery bill, that's one thing. But this is weekends, you want him over at your house instead of being at his. He's paying for meals, he's been generous with you, he's paying for the gas to get to your house.
The thing is -- he *is* asking. You make your son a milkshake, and he's asking for one. If that's pissing you off, then he's not the guy for you. I would be asking my guy if he wants one before he could even ask!
If he's there for weekends, why are you having a problem with him taking a shower?! That's messed up! He's there for the weekend, but you don't want him to shower? Weird.
I think you love yourself far more than you love him. Break up with him so that he can find a woman who will love him, because you don't. Enjoy your food and hot water.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 I'm in minority here, but, I side with you,OP. I get what you mean, what you describe would bother me too. And no, it's not about money , at least for me ( albeit, that too could be a reasonable objection for many people, since food is becoming more and more expensive ). I've always had younger friends, or less financially secure friends- and also a big dining room with a big dining table :). By now I've fed tons of food to lots of struggling artists, struggling actors, struggling anything- always voluntarily, with great pleasure, and without keeping score of reciprocations. But, going through my cabinets or drawers , and taking stuff without asking first, eh no, I don't care for that at all. I'd never do that at other people places' and I don't want them to do it to me.
I live with my son, and if he's out of soap or shampoo, he does not just grab some out of my bathroom cabinet, he asks first. I gave and give my son ALL I can afford and more, and sure I would not begrudge him a dose of shampoo !, but it's not about splitting cents, it's about courtesy, respect, manners, and personal boundaries.
I come from a very hospitable culture too, and a very food oriented one :). To a fault even, here you can't just pass by to say a quick hallo to a friend for a couple of minutes, you'll be literally besieged with offers of food and drinks and they won't take no for an answer.So yes, we normally offer. But the key word is " offer ". You wait to be offered, you don't just ask , unless you have a medical problem or you are literally starving. Or if you need to ask, you do - but surely you don't go raiding people's fridges and cabinets at night !
So yes, OP, I feel your pain , I dont know if there is a solution. Actually, there is a very simple solution, next time he comes over, you take him grocery shopping with you, and you split the bill. But ,that's just a bandaid, the real problem is that deep down you aren't that compatible, you seem quite different, and you sound already quite tired of playing mommy for this overgrown hungry toddler. I personally don't blame you, I think having a grown up man around that acts just like a bored preschooler ( Mommy I am huuungry , they always say that when they don't know how to kill time ) would be a total turn off for me too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): What he doesnt have to spend on food, he can put in a savings account and be financially well off when he has eaten you and your kids food and saved you the crumbs.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 March 2012):
WOW…. He’s staying at YOUR house I get that. YOU Have small kids I get that. But you have said you are very generous and make more money then him but then you play the ‘single mum” card. Don’t have him over this weekend and ruin it with “buy you own” call him now and END it with him and find a man that fits your needs and desires. Personally for me I would say to MY PARTNER “no need to ask dear, just take what you want and if you take the last one put it on the shopping list”
I guess it’s a difference in personalities… because I would never think of my partner as taking things from my kids mouths… if you are close enough to be in my home every weekend and be that close to my kids then what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.
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reader, Miamine +, writes (7 March 2012):
You don't like when he takes your food, and you get irritated when he asks, and the suggestion that he brings his own food isn't very sensible.... do you see why your getting advice to leave him because you don't really want him there. Men are not children or women, they have higher food needs. You say no guy has acted like this before, but they aren't with you now, maybe it was a problem but they preferred not to discuss it and upset you.
You say your just gonna "grit your teeth", and what, sit there and get resentful and start disliking him? This is not a good way to run a relationship. Why don't you talk to him about it, he obviously doesn't know he's doing something wrong and he might come up with a better solution.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): I wonder why he feels the 'need' to keep asking or to help himself. Surely any man worth his weight would want you to fancy him and would just 'know' this was an unattractive way to be. Surely a man would want to provide and would not 'take' a thing off a woman unless he was a 'taker'. I do not understand why any woman would find a man clearing her cupboards a turn on??
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): Thank you all for replying. Boyfriends in the past have waited to be offered ( which I always do) or provided food for both of us if they had wanted to eat whilst at mine. They would never have dreamed of taking food from a single mums house, after all, how would they know the food wasnt there for my kids! Taking and asking in my opinion is just bad manners and lack of thought or respect. If he is that hungry greedy or needy he should buy his own. I would if the roles were reversed.I dont understand why he always wants things he is perfectly capable of obtaining himself, after all a girlfriend is not charity. I try to forget these incidences and just when I have, there he goes again, 'can i have this, can i have that' I do not want another child, i want a man. I understand this must sound very petty but his ways just irritate me! I am trying to get over it , so this coming weekend i will grit my teeth and say 'BUY YOUR OWN'
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 March 2012):
OP I read your follow up and I’m thinking that this is not a good fit for you relationship wise.
IF you are not happy if he’s asking and you are not helping if he’s doing it on his own what WOULD make you happy?
I envision this: he arrives for the weekend, you greet him lovingly with a hug and a kiss and say “hello darling here is the list of things you can and cannot eat or touch and the time frames you are allowed to do so, please adhere strictly to this list so that we may have a pleasant weekend visit”
Clearly he is ASKING because you have in some way communicated to him that you don’t like him making himself at home.
Funny thing, we live together and yet we still ASK each other about shower times so we can coordinate water usage… perhaps that’s his thought that he does not want to deprive other household members of hot water?
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (7 March 2012):
What puzzles me is this: "I have not encountered this 'taking' and 'asking' from any boyfriends before."
May I ask what on earth the previous boyfriends have done? Starved? Brought their personal picnic with them? I can imagine at breakfast you make your own food, while he runs out to the car to fetch his pre-made breakfast from home.
I'd actually find it RUDE if someone brought their own food into my home, as if my food wasn't good enough for them to eat. Clearly you and him have differing views on this, but thats also all there is to it. Different views. Try to get over it and accept his ways.
If I were you I'd avoid the entire issue by saying "Here. help yourself. I don't have much in my fridge, but what you see you can take." I also mention anything of interest I have in my food-closet, if that might be of interest. I try to be a good hostess! I offer my guests food! I feel bad if there isn't anything in my fridge that is edible. In fact, when I have boyfriends coming over, I buy in extra food, or foods that they like that I normally don't have. That's what a good and thoughtful girlfriend/host does.
If it costs money I ask the boyfriend if he can stop by the super market on his way over and pick up some foods.
But sure, I was just like you when I was 20 years old and not accustomed to having boyfriends sleep over. I felt it was odd to have someone enter "my" house and not follow the same routines as me, or not eating "my" foods the exact same way that I would eat it, or prepare it. I found it odd then. Now I am more mature.
Learn to accept that people are different from you, without that meaning they, or you, are in the wrong.
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reader, Miamine +, writes (7 March 2012):
I've just seen your follow up, and yes this guy is not right for you, you don't sound like you want him in your house. People are bought up differently in regards to how they treat guests. In my culture we have the opposite problem of not feeding guests until they get sick. We even try to feed the postman and the delivery people. It's our way. I've never encountered a house where I had to ask, because every thing is constantly provided. If someone wants to eat, they offer food to everybody. I would never ask for food (because you never need to) but if someone was eating without offering me, I would wonder why I'd been left out and would sit and starve rather than humiliate someone by leaving their house to eat, or bringing my own food in. Having to ask for something is seen as rude and an insult to the host. Having somebody go to feed themselves is seen as an insult, because your not a good host and you have left them hungry. It might be because I'm from an extended family, and your guy's experience might be similar, so how he behaves is seen as natural to him. If your a single mother you might have learnt to be careful about the bills. If money is a problem, in my culture people will just bring you half a cow and a ton of rice, and even come and cook in your house and give you some time to relax. No matter how poor you are, food is never an issue.Bottom line though, you don't run your house like this, your not used to this type of behaviour and your starting to resent and probably dislike this man, so put yourself out of your misery. This guy aint right for you, so end the relationship and find somebody else more suitable for you. I hope you and your son do find the right guy, someone who makes you smile instead of making you wish they would just disappear. Good luck.
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reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 March 2012):
 If he was raised in my family, the fridge and kitchen were pretty wide open to the family. Mom cooked meals and we ate them but if we wanted snacks or anything outside meal time, we'd have to fend for ourselves. No lock on the fridge or pantry.
I entertain a bit and have people spend the night fairly frequently. I expect them to help themselves to whatever they want, even in the middle of the night. I stock up when I know there will be extra people around and make sure they know they can help themselves. I cook of course and prepare meals and snacks but I have no constraints on anything in my kitchen. On busy weekends, I prefer people to help themselves as I often don't have any time to drop what I'm doing to heat up a snack for someone. I set up a coffee and tea area, and at appropriate times of the day, there's buffet breakfast, lunch or snack items.
Maybe that's the kind of background he comes from? I mean, why not take the attitude that he's not doing this to be rude or nasty, but that's just how his family did things? Look at the bright side of this, he feels close enough to you to consider your house almost as home.
Let me ask you this, how many more months or years will he have to be your boyfriend before you feel comfortable with him helping himself to food in your house? Another 6 months? A year? Two years? Ten years? Or is this something that is taboo for you?
Why not compromise? Create an area for snack food for him; tell him you've done this so that he's not rummaging around in the cupboards, as that bothers you (try to articulate why to him so he understands). Ask him what he'd like in it and see if that diverts him from the need to rummage for food. It will keep it controlled and in a contained area and maybe that will be enough for you to feel comfortable.
I guess if a random friend stopped by and asked for a sandwich and a shower, I'd find that a bit puzzling but a boyfriend? At some point, doesn't the boyfriend go from being a formal guest to being almost a member of the family? When does that happen for you?
Hope this helps you look at it from a different perspective. If you can't stand it, tell him and give him an alternative spot, but do clarify for him when he can expect to be considered close enough to be treated as a family member.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): Do you stay at his house? Ever? if not...
Why not just say 'Are you planning on coming over/staying this week? If so, shall we do a shop and split the bill?'
'Oh and get a shower, when you need it you don't have to keep asking'
Simples!
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reader, Miamine +, writes (6 March 2012):
If he's staying the weekend he will be starving if he's not allowed to touch your food. If it's late at night all the shops are probably closed and so there is no food available. If he has to carry a box with food, he might as well bring toilet paper and water too. Not sure what kind of boyfriend expect to carry around his own box of food. Is he allowed to cook something or does him using the cooker upset you too. Wonder if you get upset if he turns the light on.
Your house sounds real fun for guests to be in? Anyway if you can't treat him as decently as a hotel(tea and coffee provided free) then tell him he is not welcome. You could also calculate how much he costs to stay at your house, and present him with a bill for his stay.
You feel how you feel, but I couldn't have a friend like you, let alone a girlfriend. Why can't you just go stay at his house and eat out all his food? And if he travels to come and see you, are you gonna pay for his petrol bill? If you need extra money for shopping, why don't you just ask him to chip in?
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reader, YouWish +, writes (6 March 2012):
The two of you see each other on weekends. So, whenever you two go out, he pays after 6 months. You say you're "very generous", so what does that mean?
So if he's paying for dinners out, and you two stay on weekends, and he's raiding your fridge, wow, you have the best part of this arrangement! Why get mad at his raiding your fridge, when he's paying for expensive meals out after 6 months? After 6 months of dating, I'm usually eating out Dutch.
If it were a guy I was really into who was paying for food when we went out to eat, I'd be stocking my fridge with his favorite foods.
The other people's suggestions of going on a Dutch "snack run" before going home is a good idea too. Otherwise, right now, his generosity is more than matching the food he's raiding from your fridge.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Why on earth would you mind, he stops over at your place so the man has to eat,do you have the same feeling with regard to electricity he uses or water or gas?
Its 6 months into a relationship and he feels at home,relaxed at yours.If he never took you out I would understand.
If it bothers you that much then go shopping for 'munchies' with him, just suggest popping to the shop before you settle down for the evening, then you can pay 50/50. Or stop at his every 2nd weekend.
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reader, suzy16 +, writes (6 March 2012):
My old nan used to used to say
'Help Yourself And Your Friends Will Love You'! ( which of course meant the very opposite). I still think this is an undesireable trait in someone. Even if they were told 'make yourself at home and help yourself' still to tre
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reader, MsSadie +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Tell him you'd rather he not help himself to your food.
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reader, Blonde68 +, writes (6 March 2012):
I too personally think you are over reacting. If I loved someone, I would give them my last breath, never mind my last slice of bread, or last tin of beans!!
If it really bothers you that much - then when he comes to stay, go and do a food shop together and go halves with the bill! However, if it is because you are struggling financially, then I would explain to him that you are on a tight budget and have noticed your food bill raising. If he is a nice man he will probably feel a little embarrassed and say "I didn't think" because a lot of men really don't think about stuff like that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Thank you very much for answering. Well, it is not about the money at all. I earn more than him and I am very generous. I pay for stuff as much as he does, maybe more. What i dont like is the 'helping himself' bit. I would not go through someone elses cupboards without asking.
If during the day he sees me making my son a milkshake he says ' can i have one'? If he sees I have fruit he says 'can i have a banana'? If he sees I have bread he says 'can i take 2 slices'? He also keeps asking to take showers. I am on the verge of screaming 'ANYTHING ELSE'!! I have not encountered this 'taking' and 'asking' from any boyfriends before. It is irritating beyond belief and maybe he is not the right man for me.
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reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (6 March 2012):
 I do have to ask: are you like this with everyone? Are you stingy when it comes to sharing food with friends and family as well, or is it just him? Do you have free access to his food when you're at his place? Do you feel that he is cheap and selfish with you and this is why you feel shouldn't eat your food for free?
If you're this protective of your food with everyone and deep down you feel that your friends, family and boyfriends should not have access to the food that you bought, then the problem is you. You say that you're generous, but this type of thinking would never cross a generous person's mind.
My friends and my fiance have free access to the fridge. I don't care what they take out as food is meant to be shared. I offer food and drinks to anyone that comes to see me - that's my first thing I do after greeting them. If you can't share food, the most basic, readily available thing in life, what will you be able to share then?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Yah I have to say its odd mentality to believe he has to ask permission to eat and you see it as YOUR food. So clearly this is not a loving relationship about equality and WE are a WE but still, on your side of things, this is a ME vs HIM relationship and I'm keeping score and so far, he is losing.
Not very loving at all.
I could see if you lived on a tight budget and could not afford food so being ADULT and asking him to contribute to groceries when he is over is reasonable.
Agreed its time to ask, not confront, BF to provide some snacks and contribute to meals on the weekends he stays over, as it would be helpful and thoughtful, and give him a kiss.
Also agreed if you have 'comfort' food, you label it as hands off, this is for me and any one touches it- dies. :P
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 March 2012):
I think you are over-reacting as well. Don’t you want him to feel comfortable in your home… He’s not a stranger or a casual friend he’s your boyfriend and he sleeps at your home in your bed right?
When I started staying at my then boyfriend’s home I would stop on my way over (it was a 2 hour drive) and pick up groceries I might need while there. Maybe you could ask him to do the same.
IF there is something SPECIAL you are saving (i.e. special for breakfast on Sunday) then label it as such “don’t eat I am making this for breakfast on Sunday)…
Six months… and you still feel that it’s YOURS vs HIS? How do you feel about him otherwise?
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 March 2012):
 If he was doing this in the first month or so then yes it would be a bit weird and wrong. But you have been together for 6 months now, do you really still see him as a guest in your house?
I have been with my boyfriend 5 months and we see each other almost every evening and at weekend - I cook in his house, I will make myself drinks, help myself to food - he is not my slave and I dont expect him to be getting up making me a drink or getting me food when I'm hungry! It would be absurd to me if I didnt help myself, it would drive me and my boyfriend mad if I were asking him every time I wanted something!
I buy the food for my house and he eats it when he is at mine, and then he buys the food for his house and I eat it when I am round at his. So that way it is pretty fair - we both buy food for our own houses and we can both help ourselves when we want.
I suppose if he stays at yours every weekend and you are never at his house, then it is a little different. It is not so much about him being rude or the behaviour itself, it is more about the money issue. If you are paying for everything and he is not contributing at all during that weekend, then he should start helping out with food shopping.
But again, do you really feel so precious about your food that you feel you 'own' it and he cannot have access to that food? Surely you buy food with him in mind when he is coming to stay? Or is the food all yours and he is not allowed it? I would never dream of acting this way, at the end of the day if my partner is hungry and wants to get something out of the fridge he is more than welcome to do so. It would be ridiculous to think that just because I have bought the food he cannot eat it - whatever happened to sharing?! Do you really care more about your wallet than your boyfriend?
Sorry if this seems harsh but I think you are being selfish, you have been together long enough now for him to at least feel comfortable in your home and he is not a guest anymore, he is your partner and he can have something to eat if he is hungry. If the money is a massive problem then get him to contribute to the food shop for the weekend. But dont be so tight, money isnt everything and you shouldnt begrudge him a sandwich or whatever he is eating just because you are tight with your money.
Try being a bit more generous and relaxed about money, him having a little bit of food isnt going to bankrupt you and I'm sure he would do the same if you were staying at his house.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Come to a compromise, get him to buy some bits to put in a cupboard in your kitchen so he can help himself to his own food in your house.
This is what i used to do at my ex's house, worked fine :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 March 2012):
 I think you are overreacting honestly. BUT I suggest you tell him to go buy some of his favorite cereals/snacks to keep at your house. Or suggest that he contributes to the shopping.
They guy FEELS at home at your place THAT is why he raids the fridge.
You obviously have no problem eating food HE pays for. Seems a little double standard there, if you ask me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Sounds to me like he is a senseless person and he is using you. Keep a wary eye on his 'low' behaviour, and if it continues break up with him, and confront him with the massive flaws in his personality.
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