A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I keep having dreams of my fiancee cheating on me! It normally happens if we argue and don't resolve it that night, but yesterday it happened randomly. It starts with some girl in bed with him, and me being really hurt crying, etc. and him telling me he doesn't really care (which hurts even more). In the latest dream, he tells me he's been wanting to do it for a while now, and that our relationship is over. I wake up really hurting, and confused even though I know he's not doing anything.How do I get these dreams to stop?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 February 2012):
 It's hard to say why you keep having these dreams.
I'm guessing something else is going on and you are subconsciously looking for reasons to break up with him? Or you have strong feelings for and and fear that he could/would cheat on you.
If it only happens after you two argue, I think it might be the latter.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Hi. I had a few similar dreams once. I looked into their meaning and discovered the dreams were a manifestation of my unhappiness and insecurity within the relationship. The dreams werent a `warning` that my partner was about to cheat on me at all. The person in the bed was actually me really not my partner. It made sense to me at the time because I was very unhappy with him and had thought about seeing someone else. The dreams are about how you feel, not what he might do.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 February 2012):
 Your brain is trying to subconsciously work out a problem. In this case, the dreams popping up after you have unresolved fights are throwing up signals that you are not feeling secure in your relationship, and that the fights are systematically causing him to care less about the relationship.
What do you do? Address the underlying insecurity you're feeling. Make sure no arguments get unresolved, and figure out why you're fighting so much in the first place! Did these fights and dreams happen after you got engaged, or before?
If the arguing ramped up after the engagement and are a recent development, it might be good to consider whether or not he or you are having second thoughts about committing to each other and are manufacturing the fight in order to drive a wall and start the emotional distancing that could lead to a breakup.
It's also possible that your dreams are also a manifestation of your own doubts about the relationship, as in he's arguing with you, so it's not going to last anyways, and your brain is coalescing around perceived future weaknesses.
It's hard to pinpoint without knowing more about the arguments and what's causing them, but that's okay. Hopefully this will get you thinking in the right direction.
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