A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my birthday is coming up (in two days), and i had some friends and my boyfriend around yesterday to watch some films and throughout the day, me and my boyfriend cuddled and kissed etc..today, me and my boyfriend were talking, and he said 'i may not get you a birthday present' just after mentioning that he was going out to get me a card, and buy himself a new game.I feel really selfish, and like a bit of a brat for saying this, but i felt really disappointed that he wasn't getting me anything. I mean, it's not like he didn't have any money or anything.What should I do? He told me he was going to get me a card, though even a little cheap present just to show some value would have been appreciated. I don't want to go straight out and tell him to buy me something, but I know that i'll feel really upset that he hasn't even thought of getting me a present.Thank you, and sorry for the confusion i might have caused!
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 March 2012):
 Sorry I don't agree with the others here. A guy blowing off buying his gf a present to play a game is quite frankly a joke.
The day that someone values a video game over their partner is the day I'd end the relationship.
If he doesn't buy you something, I'd say you have every right to be upset with him. Surely he could wait a week later?
A
female
reader, Curiouser +, writes (4 March 2012):
Hey, hon,You might be young, but you come across as considerate and mature about this.Personally, I think the key is often to think how you'd feel if the boot was on the other foot. If he's putting off getting you anything because he can't think what to buy you/ is telling himself that you wouldn't expect a gift anyway etc, etc, and then he finds out afterwards that he's really upset you- he's going to feel a lot worse than he would have £5/£10 less in his pocket!So I think the answer is to catch it before it's too late. He's 'told' you he might not get you anything and probably assumes that, because you didn't say anything at the time he's 'okay-ed it by you'. Why not text him and tell him something light / flirtatious without laying any guilt on him (after all -he's not done anything wrong yet, as it's not your birthday yet!)something light, maybe 'I hope you were joking about not getting me a birthday present, Mr!' or if you think he's going to be clueless about what to get you- which may be why he's avoiding getting you anything at all! - you could simple suggest something to make it super easy for him '...the lady loves her chocolates/ you'd better not be picking my flowers from next doors' garden!' etc, etc.Maybe you could be super-mature and talk to him about it face to face- wholly non-confrontational mind you; just take the attitude that you assumed that he was joking and quickly plough ahead with what would make you happy. Maybe you could talk to him about getting you a second games control so you could play his new game with him?Alternatively, you could skip the present and just tell him what you'd like to do where to go on your birthday (or the nearest w/end) -and then make the plans together.But whatever you decide, try and deal with it beforehand to save any guilt and disappointment on your birthday that could be saved by a relatively inexpensive gesture or gift. Otherwise he might end up feeling even worse than you on the day do when he sees how much he's upset you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everybody, I really appreciate it, il just let yous all know though, we are planning on going out tomorrow (day before my birthday) and we've talked about this, and he wasn't planning on surprising me, but when he found out I felt a little sad, he was constantly apologising, and he keeps assuring me that he'll make it up to me. So, yeah I'm a little sad, but I'm relieved because we've talked it through, and I know that it's not because I'm less important than a game, or any of that. But tha k you for your time and advice everybody, it's meant so much to me:)
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 Mass Effect 3 player here too. Good thing my husband's birthday wasn't November 11th, because after I bought Skyrim, it was a long time before I joined the world of the living. My son thought I was awesome though...I got a second copy for him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): Well wait to see what he does but IF he doesn't get anything then you can consider yourself less important to him than a game. And that he's obviously not mature enough for a relationship.
I'm a huge fan of Mass Effect 3, I've preordered it. I wanted to spend all Friday playing it but it's a friend's birthday that friday so I've agreed to go out - for a friend!!!! not even a bf.
I'm a huge gamer but in a relationship if anyone put a game before me, even Mass Effect 3. I'd leave them in an instant.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): "I'm sorry if I gave that impression."
No, you didn't give that impression.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am in no way a material girl. I live by the fact that money does not always result in happiness, I'm sorry if I gave that impression.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): What's unfortunate OP is that your parents didn't have the foresight to not let you be born the same day that Mass Effect 3 is coming out, they should have kept you in there an extra day or two hehe.
I've already taken the day off, bought loads of munchies/drinks and have already paid for the game. My girlfriend has agreed to be out of the house for the whole day because she wants to play it once I've finished it. I will be getting up early to go buy it and then it's straight back into my pyjamas for the rest of the day, curtains pulled and volume up as loud as I can have it.
Given a choice between getting her a birthday present and getting Mass Effect 3, she knows not to make me choose.
If the new game he's getting is Mass Effect 3, then there's some things you need to know:
1. You may not see much of him that day and if you do his mind will probably be on what he'd like to be doing with Commander Shepherd right now.
2. Mass Effect 3 is not just a game, it's an event, something people have been waiting years for. Much like a new Twilight or Harry Potter movie.
3. Give him a chance to make it up to you if he's done any of the above and it is Mass Effect 3 he's buying.
4. Gifts on birthdays can include the gift of time, the gift of memorable day or just a sweet material gift. The amount of money he spends on your birthday is irrelevant to how much thought he puts into making it a really nice day for you. Surely you're not a girl who can simply be bought with expensive gifts are you?
If I were you find out if it is Mass Effect 3. I've learned a long time ago that in relationships you can't always celebrate your birthday on the day with your partner. If my girlfriend or my birthday is on a weekday we always celebrate it together the weekend before or after because that's when most people are available. My advice to you OP, is to arrange to have a birthday day with him this weekend maybe and let him play his game. That way you won't have school or anything else in the way and you can have a whole day together to do something awesome, let him treat you of course.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 March 2012):
Yeah, he might be saying that to throw you off because he is getting you something. Don't get upset or say anything until after your birthday!
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female
reader, StephanieMcQueen +, writes (4 March 2012):
 You guys are so young your not a brat for thinking that way he has a lot of growing up and maturing to do. Just take the card is the thought that counts and you should really talk to him about the issue and see how it goes from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): Its not your birthday yet...whatever happened to surprises, he may just do that you know
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnote: i know im young, but still, please dont judge me on that behalf D:
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): Maybe he doesn't know what to get you?
Guys are terrible with buying girls gifts, maybe a nice day in or a day out with him tomorrow would be better as a birthday celebration?
In advance; Happy Birthday though
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