A
male
age
30-35,
*ensativeguy010
writes:I've been dating my gf for 6 months and for the first 3 months we had sex every day sometimes twice or three times. But the last few months we have been having sec less and less and I don't low why, it doesn't bother me if we don't have sex so often but it kills her and she gets so upset when I reject her that she gets mad at me and makes me leave. She has gotten to the point of thinking we will end up never doing it and thinks it will be the end of us. :( she keeps asking me why I don't want it more often but I honestly don't know and I'm getting so worried that she's gonna break up with me cuz I can't satisfy her and I don't know why! I just need to know of its normal to have less sex after being in a relationship for so long or after having sex for so Long? I've been a little stress about finances and my band and I've recently read that stress can effect sex to where there won't be any desire at all. I just wanna know what I can do to make sex happen more often?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): I'm concerned she uses sex like a drug, to help her feel distracted. Or she may even be a nympho.
Either way, I think she's the unrealistic one.
Her reactions speaks control, abuse, manipulation with a side of abandonment issues.
She needs counselling to learn how to communicate and figure out why she feels she needs sex 3x a day, on a daily basis.
Jeesh, most people, men and women, cannot sustain on that schedule.
Agreed with So Confused- There should be more REAL, loving, tender intimacy now over sex and lust.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 February 2012):
 Daily sex or more often (2 or three times a day) is not sustainable for a long term relationship. Life gets in the way.
“we have been having sex less and less and I don’t know why”
“she gets so upset when I reject her”
Well there’s your answer YOU are rejecting her advances… that’s why you are having sex less and less….
IF she gets MAD when you say NO and she makes you leave… well that’s not a very adult response to rejection….
IF you are stressed about work and money that’s enough to drive your sex drive into the ground. If she has a very high drive and she gets rejected over and over it will beat at her sense of self as well.
Do you guys cuddle a lot? Are you affectionate with each other?
She may only equate how you feel about her with sex… it’s hard for younger folks to see the day to day aspects of life as love. Many people only feel love when it’s related to physical aspects.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 February 2012):
 Okay, if YOU are the one rejecting her then how can you say you do not know why you don't have sex more often? You should know why, because YOU are the one who rejects her. Figure out what's going on with you and communicate with your girlfriend. Maybe it's time you stop rejecting her as often as you do, because it probably will kill this relationship. That means, if you want to be with her you need to communicate better and figure out what's going on and why you keep rejecting her.
You might want to talk to your doctor and tell him that you interest in sex has suddenly dropped, and you want to find out why.
No, it isn't normal for sex to drop down so much after a while in a relationship. If you have been married for 7 years I think it is more normal. After only 6 months of dating this isn't normal.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 February 2012):
 Sex 2-3 times per day is not usually sustainable, and a good relationship is based on more than just sex. She's misbehaving when you tell her that you're not in the mood, and the "we'll never do it" and the making you leave are all manipulation.
She may break up with you, but it would be stupid to. I agree with blonde30s, time to sit down and have a talk with her about what she's looking for, and talk to her about how you're feeling, because you're taking her reaction to your refusal as her possibly breaking up with you, and she's taking your rejection of sex as rejection of her.
Things blow out of proportion when we don't talk to each other!
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