A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I honestly don't know what to do! Me and my boyfriend decided to look at some porn on the internet together to try it out and see whether it was fun or not. Whilst we were looking, we found a website for people to post pictures of themselves on it and we clicked on the link. We opened up a few more pages and went on one with young amateur porn and loads of pics of this girl doing things with different guys came up. The shocking thing was that she is one of my best friends and she has a boyfriend! That was a week ago and since then i haven't been able to look at her the same. It's really awkward talking to her now and even being around her. My boyfriend is avoiding her completley because he is afraid he'll blurt something out, and she keeps asking why i've stopped hanging out with her as much. How can i talk to her now that i've seen guys doing all sorts of things to her? And should i tell her boyfriend that she is on a porn website and has been doing this sort of thing? I don't think he knows because they've only been going out for a few weeks and he thinks she is really innocent and sweet. Help me!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, zoeycee  +, writes (15 January 2010):
I think it's her business if she's posting pictures of herself. Stay out of it. It's not your place to tell her boyfriend, but if you really feel the need to say something talk to her first.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): tell the girl you saw her on the site i wouldent go telling the right away its kind of intrusive.
suggest to her that she tell her boyfriend about it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): god you couldn't make this stuff up!!! talk to her and let her know that you saw her. dont let something like this ruin a perfectly good friendship. she will be embarrassed at first but thats something that she should be prepared for when she put herself up on the site. hilarious story.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): Yes he has a right to know! wouldn't you want to know if your boyfreind was involved in a porn video?
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 You need to let her know that you and your boyfriend saw her. You'll not be able to go on pretending you don't know, it's going to come out sooner or later.
I also think her boyfriend has a right to know. If you have seen her, others might, and they might tell him. It is MUCH better coming from her than from anyone else. It's really her decision, but it's a time bomb ticking (in this and any future relationships).
I guess this demonstrates the risks of having photos like this taken of you. Once they're on they're online, they'll be available permanently, and can cause problems for the rest of your life. It's just not worth it.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hi sweetness,
YES, it is totally normal that your boyfriend got a little turned. Completely natural and please don't worry - he is probably feeling just as weird about it as you are. And while maybe the thought of your friend nekkid is a little sexy, I'm sure that he wouldn't dream of ever hooking up with her. You are his girl, and it's clear that he's committed to you. A keeper. So don't stress about that.
About your friend... definitely talk to her about it. She needs to know that people can find this stuff. She probably thinks that no one will ever know, and you telling her that you came across it might be a big reality check to her. If you can find it, who's to say that someone else can't? Someone in her family could come across it, kids in school...
It could be that her boyfriend already knows. I would talk to her before you make a decision to talk to him. Give her a chance to speak for herself...
I think what your friend needs is complete support. It is easy to judge her for this and make her feel horrible, but you seem like a GREAT friend. Really, a great person. I know you'll do the right thing. Be honest with her, and whie you're at it - remind her about all the dangers of sex. Make sure she is well protected and knows the consequences of her actions. Most of all, be a friend.
Good luck, sweetness and keep us updated!
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): Talk to her about it. You know she might now even know its on the site she might not even know its on the internet. You should really tell her, don't freak out at her or anything just pull her aside one day some where private and say this is what I found. You should talk to her about it before you tell her boyfriend because she may have not even been with him when it happened right?
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A
female
reader, GuardianAngel +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hi there I think you need to talk to her about this and find out if her boyfriend knows what she is up to it's not fair if she doesn't tell him he will be the one who gets hurt find out from her if he knows and tell her to stop this and also tell her if she doesn't tell her boyfriend you will!!!
Best Of Luck
Guardian Angel
p.s Need anything else just write to me Best Wishes With Your Friend xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): The thing is it wasn't just one event, it was several encounters each with different guys and the dates stretched from about 4 months ago to two weeks ago. They were images of her being taken in different positions, of her giving blow jobs and of guys giving her oral and fingering her. We didn't click on any more links because we were a bit shocked and we haven'tchecked since, but because it's so recent i don't know whether to tell her boyfriend or not and it's made things really awkward. I would never have though she was into this sort of thing and i know its her decision buts its affecting our friendship and i can't seem to get over it. Also, is it okay that my boyfriend is turned on by the stuff we saw? Because i think he is but that makes me feel really weird, that he'd like to think of himself doing those things to my friend. I think i'm going crazy!
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