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female
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*una~
writes:My friend is getting married and she's having a bridal shower next week. I don't know what to get her. She's staying at her fiance's parents basement until their new house get buildt (6 months later). I don't want to get her any furniture/applicance yet. She's a very conservative girl so I don't want to get her things that are too crazy. I looked for night gowns, but I'm afriad she'll feel embarrass opening it infront of her other friends (who are mostly Christian). I also want to get her something she can use as well.Is there any good ideas you can help me with?
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male
reader, xray2112 +, writes (2 August 2008):
I agree with lexilou. Give her a gift certificate from a store. She can get whatever she wants or needs and will always have you to thank for it.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 What about gift vouchers for a store where she can get practical things for when she gets married. Maybe ask around to see if other people will get from the same store?
Failing that get her something personal that will mean something about your relationship, a pic of you two on a night out etc. Another good idea is to have a wishing well and everyone puts cash in on the night but you would have to organsise that in advance x
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (2 August 2008):
I'm curious how the "Christian" thing relates to the question. If you think that Christian girls only have sex in the dark - as quickly and quietly as possible - and only once (per child) - I have some INCREDIBLE news for YOU!! But that's a topic for another thread . . .
Getting married and starting a home is a wonderful adventure because almost everything you have is brand new, and it all matches. This is, of course, courtesy of thoughtful friends like you who give wedding and shower gifts. In fact, some of those things WILL be around for a lifetime - and many won't. With rare exceptions, your friend won't remember who gave what gifts, only that they were given when she got married.
Just recently my wife and I had to toss out a broken drinking glass - an inexpensive, plastic thing that probably came from a discount store. And it was all we could do to avoid tears because it was the last one from a set we received as a gift when we were married. That was over 30 years ago. That cheap glass somehow represented 4 kids, countless breakfasts, departed friends who had shared meals with us, and a host of other things we don't understand.
So I wouldn't get too stressed out, to the point of mounting an expedition to search out The Ideal Gift. You simply don't have the forward omniscience to know it if you see it. On the other hand, maybe I'm out of date but "gift cards" in general always strike me as an impersonal cop-out.
Sexy nighties are something of a stereotypical bridal shower gift. I guess "It's the thought that counts.". I think my wife received about half a dozen. I suspect that one or two of them never even got worn. Except for a few times when we did some role-playing games in the bedroom, I don't think ANY of them got worn after the first 3 or 4 weeks of marriage.
I know that bridal shower gifts are supposed to be for the girl, and wedding gifts for the couple, but among my acquaintances that distinction is pretty hazy these days.
My wife has always enjoyed cooking (and, I enjoy that she enjoys cooking!!). One shower/wedding gift she appreciated was a rather complete set of cooking spices. Cloves, cinnamon, allspice, basil, coriander, tumeric, rosemary . . . you get the idea. That can actually add up to a fair piece of change if you get the good stuff, and not the bargain table varieties they sweep out of the bottoms of ships coming into port.
Somewhat in that vein, my daughter appreciated a whole pile of scrap-booking stuff. The common point is that both of these gifts applied to domestic activities the women were already enjoying, and now had the means to "do them right" in the context of their new lives as old married people.
A gift we enjoyed as a couple was a picnic basket, with associated accessories. We were both financially-challenged grad students when we married - unlike your friend, even a fixer-upper house was five years off for us - and that picnic basket got carried to quite a few "dates" at lunchtime around the Purdue campus. We still use it with some regularity, though it's a bit worse for wear.
Hmmmm . . . those are all the ideas I have at the moment. Maybe someone else can pick up on one of those thoughts and give you some more help.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 August 2008):
 I work at Victoria's Secret (which just picked up La Cenza, I'm pretty sure, so it's a similar company) and have tons of women coming in shopping for bridal showers. Many have the same issue as you - a more conservative bride. I always suggest beauty products!! You can't go wrong with a bottle of perfume! It's a sexy gift that can leave lasting scented memories between her and her new hubby.
And maybe buy her a little something wild (a pair of fun panties), but give it to her after the party so that she won't be embarrassed opening it in front of everybody!
Congratulations to her and good luck to you!
xx India
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female
reader, floraltemptaions +, writes (1 August 2008):
If it's an all girls shower, and you wanted to get her a nightgown or something, but afraid she'll be embarrassed, I suggest a gift card to La Senza or something that she can pick out herself then... thats my idea...
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