A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 3 years now and a few weeks ago, we become engaged and have started to plan a wedding in disney, florida in 2010. a few weeks/months before he proposed, we began thinking about seriously moving to florida. He is 27, and i am 19. He still lives with his mother and she has said that she is soon planning to sell her house and give him some money towards property. We began looking at houses in florida, and he started talking about his mum being there too. At first i wasn't that fussed- she is a very nice lady and i get on with her very well. We understood and looked into the difficulties of moving out there (visa's ect) and although it may be difficult for her to move out there, he is still talking as if she is coming too. The thing is, people have been telling us not to start married life together under the same roof as parents/comapny. And i have been telling my partner of the kinda things that i can't wait to do (this will sound cheesy), like cooking him romantic meals and being spontaenous around the house (if you know what i mean!) and he has responded 'so we will be getting it on in the kitchen and my mum will be chilling in the pool'. I wouldn't mind at all living under the same roof as her but i want to have some intimacy and space alone with my partner, doing special things together in our own home. He just doesn'y understand where i am coming from. has anyone else been in a similar situation or could someone give me some advice. Perhaps im just looking into this too much?
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female
reader, ld_mgmt  +, writes (13 December 2008):
OMG I am going through a very very similar situation. However, my boyfriend wont propose to me unless he knows our living situation. As of now, his house is supported by three incomes. His, his mom's, and his brother's. Well, if we were to get married he can't sell his house because its up-side down. So, he suggests that the only way for us to get married is if we allow his brother to rent the downstairs room. This is a 5 bedroom house! So of course its too big for the 2 of us, plus we cannot afford it with just two of our incomes. However, I do not believe that newlyweds should spend their first, MOST IMPORTANT, year together. I am still waiting for him to find another way to resolve this issue because I told him that I don't want to wait around for another 4 years. I basically feel like he would rather keep his house than keep me. Am I being selfish?
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 September 2008):
 I think that marriage is stressful enough to adjust to without your Mother-In-Law living under the same roof. Is she not capable of living independently? If she is capable, I think that you should find her her own place for awhile so that you two can get your lives started together and adjust to married life by yourselves. In the future, perhaps your MIL can join the party, but for now I think that separate living quarters would be best. If you don't want to live too far apart, get places that are super close to each other so that she can visit often... but you two deserve your privacy.
xx India
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