A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is very important to me so I hope I get some answers soon. I have been with my boyfriend for about eight months now. We are very much dedicated and in love with one another. Not too long ago, he inserted the TIP of his penis inside my vagina for the first time. We did not consider that to be sex because there was no ejaculation and we did not leave it in for too long. We've been doing the same thing for awhile now. Each time, the penis has stayed in a little longer, however the entire penis has never been fully inside. There are not ever too much penetration, there is no blood coming from my part that would indicate a lost of virginity. But I'm afraid I might have lost my virginity. It is incredibly sacred to me and I never imagined I would lose it so spontaneously. So, I was wondering if I did lose it or not. My definition of losing virginity was always that the entire penis would be inside of the vagina with deep penetration. I did not have that. But since the penis (although not entirely) has been in my vagina, would that still count as me losing my v-card?
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ejaculation, lost my virginity, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, gottascrewlose86 +, writes (21 August 2008):
 hey i know what you are talking about. Technically, you did not lose your virginity but you basically had sex. His penis penetrated you and any form of vaginal penetration by a penis is considered a loss of virginity in my opinion.
i wouldnt feel too bad about it tho, at least you lost yours with someone who loves and cares about you. I lost mine with a FWB who eventually dumped me and "got rid of me."
A
female
reader, bumblebee:] +, writes (20 August 2008):
![bumblebee:] agony aunt](/avatars/90eb3455-be30-4b8a-ae3a-36e0cf7641ea.png) That is called
Genital Contact.
And im sorry to say this but your not a virgin anymore.
Me and my boyfriend did the same thing and i went to the hospital and they told me I was not a virgin anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): I would hate to accuse you of being "careless and clueless", HOWEVER. Taking a sexual education course isn't an offensive piece of advice, it is actual advice. It seems like you may not be aware of the risk that you are taking and that you may need to touch up on the realities of what sex is and what sex can cause.
While perhaps the "tone" of the suggestions got you offended, I really think that the Aunt's were suggesting only what it sounds like you need. A touch up on your sexual education. You said that it's not as if you "don't know what you're doing", and I don't doubt that's not true in every other aspect in your life. However, in this one, you don't quite know what you're doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): One man here said you lose your virginity through anul aswell - that is a matter of opinion - if you have anul, but your hymen remains intact, you are technically still a virgin.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): You are not careless teenagers however your obsession wih the extent of penile penetration is boring. Go on a sexual education course. You may claim to know what you are doing but by asking a question such as this I would seriously doubt whether you are mentally ready to be engaging in a sexual relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): If the penis, in any way shape or form penetrates, to any degree, a vagina or the anus then you are no longer a virgin.
Simple as that.
Kissing and heavy petting, while not cheating perse, are despicable if done with anyone but the person you are going out with. Unless you are acting in a show or film or television broadcast in which case it doesn't count as its 'Acting'.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): It sounds like you were trying for virginity-by-technicality. It also doesn't sound like you've really had intercourse.
Call it whatever you like, but I don't think you can hide behind "virgin" anymore.
You've had enough sex to get penises touching vaginas and mingling bodily fluids and risking STDs. And when you take into account pre-cum, you've even risked pregnancy already.
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A
male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (20 August 2008):
 The truth is, virginity is lost at the first sexual act with another person. It's the loss of "innocence," if you would think such a thing exists in our culture these days. It doesn't matter if it's full-on intercourse, oral-sex, mutual masturbation... anything more involving than "heavy petting" is already past the line.
Think of it this way... if you'd have gone this far with someone other than your boyfriend, wouldn't it be considered cheating... rather than "almost cheating"?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf you think we're careless teenagers, we're not. Don't lecture me and tell me I need to "take a sex education course" and "treat my sexuality as something to be gambled with". That's offensive. I'm not a clueless teenager that has no idea what they're doing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): It doesn't matter if he was in the entire way or not, you are no longer a vergin as far as I know. What is the difference if a guy with an 8 inch penis goes in 4 inches or a guy with a 4 inch penis goes in the whole way. Same thing. You lost it. As others have said, be careful.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 August 2008):
 My vote is that yes, you have lost your virginity. I don't know what the technical answer is, but it seems like you've had a penis in your vagina. Doesn't matter how far in he's been in there, to me personally... you are still playing with the same consequences - pregnancy and STD's. I may be wrong though, I'm interested in what other aunts and uncles will have to say...
Be VERY careful. If your virginity is extremely important to you, back away from what you're doing!! Keep things above the waist! And if you do want to play, keep yourself 100% protected.
You seem like a smart, sweet gal. Good luck!
xx India
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