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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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When, where and HOW to propose???
Q. I've been dating a girl for the past year and a half now, we've had time to grow up, fight, cry, laugh and all the other good stuff together and I'm ready to tie the knot but the problem is, I don't know how to do it, do I do it on a holiday with ...
A. 25 November 2008: A long engagement is a great idea... take some time to get to really solidify your relationship and decision to spend your lives with each other. If you feel ready to get engaged and you're positive she's the one, go for it, sweetness. A long ... (read in full...)
I found out my friend's girlfriend used to work in the sex industry! Now I don't know how to react? Tell him?
Q. What a small world we live in. Here is the story. I have a friend, single guy who recently about 4 months ago met this woman, that he obviously likes. Everytime he talks about her he portrayies her as this little angel with so many talents in craft...
A. 25 November 2008: Touché, alright. I see now that you are just the bearer of a overwhelming secret. You feel like your friend is left in the dark about a fact that may render him unable to date her (for whatever his personal reasons may be). You want to tell your ... (read in full...)
I found out my friend's girlfriend used to work in the sex industry! Now I don't know how to react? Tell him?
Q. What a small world we live in. Here is the story. I have a friend, single guy who recently about 4 months ago met this woman, that he obviously likes. Everytime he talks about her he portrayies her as this little angel with so many talents in craft...
A. 24 November 2008: I guess this strikes a chord with me because I worked at a strip club for a year and well, it was an experience for sure. I'm probably the last person anyone would have thought would work at a place like that, and heck - I look back and can't even ... (read in full...)
When, where and HOW to propose???
Q. I've been dating a girl for the past year and a half now, we've had time to grow up, fight, cry, laugh and all the other good stuff together and I'm ready to tie the knot but the problem is, I don't know how to do it, do I do it on a holiday with ...
A. 24 November 2008: I agree that I think it's still a little soon to be popping the question and that you're a little young. A year and a half isn't very long... I'm on year 3 with the love of my life, but we're not engaged yet - just really enjoying the pre-marriage ... (read in full...)
I found out my friend's girlfriend used to work in the sex industry! Now I don't know how to react? Tell him?
Q. What a small world we live in. Here is the story. I have a friend, single guy who recently about 4 months ago met this woman, that he obviously likes. Everytime he talks about her he portrayies her as this little angel with so many talents in craft...
A. 24 November 2008: I think that you should keep this secret to yourself. It isn't your place to blow up her spot - obviously she's really trying to change her lifestyle around and that is WONDERFUL. Maybe she's not ready to tell him yet, give her time to do so. Maybe ... (read in full...)
His gift was more expensive than mine!
Q. Im 15 years old and my 18 year old boyfriend of not even a month bought me a $200 gift for christmas. I had like a $50 budget for him. But I don't know anymore. I don't want him to feel like I don't care. What should I do?...
A. 23 November 2008: A gift isn't about how much it costs, it's about the thought behind it. If your boyfriend isn't a creep, he knows that. $50 is not a bad budget at ALL!! You can totally get a meaningful gift with that. Think outside the box and you can always add ... (read in full...)
How can I help my pee shy girlfriend?
Q. What can I do to help my girlfriend who is very pee shy? This makes it very difficult to plan a day out going to the beach or to a concert or even to a long movie. When she gets home to her apartment, I have to wait outside so she can pee. Sometimes ...
A. 22 November 2008: It's a common fear. Loved all the rest of the advice you got.
Maybe instead of figuring out how you can end her fear, you can be a good boyfriend and help her try to avoid situations where she'll get bladder shy. Voluntarily leave the vicinity... (read in full...)
High School Madness
Q. So... I'm a Senior in Highschool and I'm dating a Sophomore. I'm sure there are alot of you who say that a teenage relationship is meaningless; well maybe it is maybe it isn't. Anyway there are alot of underclassmen who openly like her. They f...
A. 22 November 2008: I agree with your girlfriend, so keep it classy for her and don't beat down on anybody. I don't think it's horrible though, if they say something in front of you and you tell them, "back off, not happening". I think talking to them and being firm is ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and considering an abortion - but I need to ask him about it first and don't know how!
Q. I have a daughter and her father passed away a few years ago so I have been raising her on my own. I just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant with a guy I have been seeing for a few months. I am so confused on what to do. Part of me feels I need to ...
A. 21 November 2008: Hi there,
I think it's important that you tell him what's going on. While I think you do have to do what's right for you, I also think it's unfair to not involve the father. After all, it is both of yours child, so he should get to voice his opin... (read in full...)
What is chemistry?
Q. What is chemistry? Examples? Can it be developed or is it a first instant gut feeling? Is chemistry mutual or can one person feel it stronger than the other? Would you break up with someone if you had immediate, intense chemistry with s...
A. 21 November 2008: I think "anon" has it right, chemistry is often confused with lust and infatuation. I think chemistry takes time to figure out, and is really two parts - mental connection and physical. Does he tell the kind of jokes you laugh about? When you talk, ... (read in full...)
An anyone tell me what it means when a guy has "blue balls"?
Q. Dear Cupid - I'm in this wonderful relationship with my boyfriend (I'm a virgin, he's not, but it's not a problem for either of us). Although we're not having sex yet we often do things like dry humping, fingering me etc. And I just heard abo...
A. 21 November 2008: Amen, Fade!!... (read in full...)
Is it ok to wear 2 bras?
Q. Heyy Everyone I'm 15 years old and I kinda have small boobs... I want them to be bigger but I don't wanna get plastic surgery or anything when I get older cuz I just don't want to but I wear two bras so they look more round and fuller... is tha...
A. 21 November 2008: Hi there,
Is it bad to do? No, it's not bad to do. The worst it could really do is be too tight on you and cut off circulation, I guess. But otherwise, no, it won't kill you.
But, it's certainly not the right solution. Sweetness, I see... (read in full...)
What would be the best movie to watch with a guy you love and hope it sets to mood to see if he has similar feelings?
Q. What would be the best movie to watch with a guy you love and hope it sets to mood to see if he has similar feelings? And, in watching a movie, which would make him more comfortable: watching a movie in a theater or at his house? He's a very shy ...
A. 21 November 2008: Love Actually - I know tons of guys who love it even though it's sort of a chick flick. Definitely watching it at his house sets the mood for romance - it's a lot more private and intimate than any ol' theater.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Should I marry him if this is how he acts with porn?
Q. my fiance watches porn. It has been two encounters where I have been sleep, wake up to find him in the other room butt naked looking at a porno movie, and butt naked sitting in front of the computer. I guess he was going to masterbate to it until I ...
A. 20 November 2008: I'll be honest with you. I really agree with Flynn 24 here. If you can't deal with a little porn usage, you are in for a real rocky road trying to find a fella who doesn't indulge.
Here are the real questions: does your man make you feel good abo... (read in full...)
How can I advice my friend to choose the right guy??
Q. My best friend (who is female) and I are always there with advice for each other when times are tough, but this time I don't have advice, so I would like your help. Hopefully I can keep this short because it is really a long story. She star...
A. 20 November 2008: Content seems not good enough for me. Your friend is young and shouldn't have to settle for someone who is okay for her. She should be excited about her relationship - which it seems she is with fella A.... (read in full...)
How can I advice my friend to choose the right guy??
Q. My best friend (who is female) and I are always there with advice for each other when times are tough, but this time I don't have advice, so I would like your help. Hopefully I can keep this short because it is really a long story. She star...
A. 20 November 2008: I am so sorry. I see now that you're a guy. Anyhow, you sound like a great guy - you should go out with her! Lol, just saying.... (read in full...)
My best friend and I fight over this boy's love, what should I do?
Q. My best friend and I are in love with the same boy. We fight over it every single day and hate each other to bits at the moment. This boy told me he loved me and hated my best friend...... what should i do?????? XxX...
A. 20 November 2008: Oooh...
Betty, Veronica and Archie come to mind (not sure if you're familiar with that classic comic book over in the UK, but it's a love triangle just like yours).
Friends are forever. This guy seems a) scummy - trying to pit you and your BFF... (read in full...)
She wants me to do her but I'm afraid it'll hurt her too much, we're 16, your thoughts?
Q. me and my gf are both 16 and we've been talking about sex lately we have protection and whenever she gives me a blowjob and i finger/eat her out it gets so intense... i just wanna go in we love each other very much and i dont wanna hurt her though ...
A. 20 November 2008: Hi there,
My first time hurt a ton. My fella couldn't even get all the way in, and it was a solid month before we ACTUALLY had complete sex. Now, of course, it's great, but then it was intensely painful.
My advice to you is to take things real... (read in full...)
How can I advice my friend to choose the right guy??
Q. My best friend (who is female) and I are always there with advice for each other when times are tough, but this time I don't have advice, so I would like your help. Hopefully I can keep this short because it is really a long story. She star...
A. 20 November 2008: If she isn't breaking up with B just because she feels bad that they just recently got back together, well, that is just not a good enough reason. If her heart belongs with A, that's who she should be with. Her and B broke up for a reason, and per ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex girlfriend want to see me if she can't control her feelings about me?
Q. I'll be the first to admit that I am being strung along by my ex-girlfriend. I know that everyone here would suggest that I leave her alone for both of our sakes, but I'm not that strong and I am head-over-heels for her. That being said, she has a ...
A. 20 November 2008: She is just playing with fire is all. If she really wanted to end all of this drama with you, she wouldn't be putting herself in the position to create it. Help her and yourself by just not going over to see her. It's torturing you and it's giving ... (read in full...)
She acts weird while on the phone, I'm in a lot of pain because of it, should I leave her?
Q. I got a girlfriend for 2 years now and she means everything to me. She makes me feel special and everything. The Only problem is that she been acting weird i don't know if she is tired of me when we are next to each other she acts the way i want ...
A. 20 November 2008: 5 hours is a reeeeaaaallllyyy long time to be on the phone. Cut that down by some of those hours and she'll probably be much happier on the phone. ... (read in full...)
He dumped my BFF because he likes me instead. What do I do?
Q. My best friend has been dating this boy for about 6 months, and he has just dumped her. But, he dumped her because he likes me instead. To make it even more complicated, I like him too. I really want to date him but it will hurt my best friend ...
A. 19 November 2008: Let it go. Best friends are forever, boys come and go. Don't throw a best friendship away because this guy is cute or nice or whatever. There's a billion nice, cute guy out there who haven't just broken up with your BFF, find one of those fellas.
... (read in full...)
My GF wants me to finger her but I have no clue what to do!
Q. my gf wants me to finger her since shes starting to give me bj's but i have no clue what to do lol... and ive read it up on the internet but it sounds complicated do you think she'll show me? or does she expect me to know how D:...
A. 19 November 2008: I'm sure she'd be more than happy to show you if you ask her. However, if you really just want instructions, here you go:
Put your hand between her legs, use one finger to explore, pet - gently. You don't need to be forceful with a lady... ... (read in full...)
For two years our relationship has been cruising, parking, making out. I want more!
Q. so...me and my boyfriend's relationship is becoming the same routine (he picks me up, we drive around, we park and talk, make out, and that's it) which is good but i like to do more like have sex. he wants me to wait for a while til we get our own ...
A. 19 November 2008: Do you want to do more physically or just spice up your routine? Do you two go on fun dates with each other? You need to take the reigns and buy some tickets to the zoo before you hang out and say, "today we're not just going to drive around, we're ... (read in full...)
She always able to steal my guys because she has big boobs!
Q. My best friend has really big boobs and all of the guys like her. Any guy that she asks out says yes, and any guy that I ever like she has to get with him. It really frustrates me and I hate her for having big boobs sometimes. What should I do?...
A. 19 November 2008: "It really frustrates me and I hate her for having big boobs sometimes."
Just sticking up for Simply Singular. That sentence may have led her to believe that you hated your friend (if only occasionally). I'm glad that our advice helped, though!!... (read in full...)
Ladies: Would you wear a ring on your left ring finger if you're single?
Q. This question is for the ladies. Oh man :)... crushes really are unavoidable aren't they? It's a like a slow motion car crash and it just keeps building every time you see her and there's nothing you can do about it. So she's got what looks l...
A. 19 November 2008: I wear a ring on my left hand and yeah, it's mostly to keep fellas away from me. But, I've worn them in the past because I think my hands look prettier with rings on them!!
If she's got a boyfriend, I would just step back anyways...... (read in full...)
Does the fact my girlfriend sleeps over a lot bad for our relationship?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now and we both love each other but she lives about 30 mins away and until a couple of months ago she didn't drive so she usually just spends the night about 3-4 nights a week. I'm 20 and she ...
A. 18 November 2008: Is she still pregnant? What happened with that?
I think that you have settled into this routine that is creating a total rut. It seems like neither of you are courting each other anymore. You need to up your game here, buddy and get her excited ... (read in full...)
She always able to steal my guys because she has big boobs!
Q. My best friend has really big boobs and all of the guys like her. Any guy that she asks out says yes, and any guy that I ever like she has to get with him. It really frustrates me and I hate her for having big boobs sometimes. What should I do?...
A. 18 November 2008: You should continue to be her friend. Someday her boobs will be down to her ankles. And someday she will realize that all these guys only like her for one thing - her body. I assure you that guys mature and start looking for quality rather than ... (read in full...)
Does every straight man feel pleasure when touched in the anus?
Q. Hi! Does every straight man feel pleasure when touched in the anus? If so, why do some say they do and some say they dont? Are they scared we think they're gay? I only met two men who asked me to touch them there. However, I don't really know how...
A. 18 November 2008: Many men are completely afraid of having their backdoor toyed with because, yes, they think that suddenly they'll turn gay or something (which is ridiculous). It's probably best to ask first rather than just going for it - just going for it is ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 17 and want to have a baby, but I'm worried what my Mom will say.
Q. Hi. Im 16, nearly 17 years old and i want a baby. Im in a very stable relationship with my boyfriend who i have been with for almost two years, and i just feel i am ready. at the moment i am living with my boyfriend and his parents as me and my mum ...
A. 18 November 2008: These answers may have read a little harsh, but they're all completely COMPLETELY true. We Aunts are giving you a little tough love, my sweet. For the time being, why don't you just buy a bunch of really cute baby stuff to soothe the urge? Keep it ... (read in full...)
We are driving each other nut's, and I don't know why!
Q. My boyfriend and I moved in together 6 months ago and since then we argue almost everyday. At this point I don't even know why we are agueing. We love each other and when we calm down its really easy to see this but we are driving ea other nuts with ...
A. 18 November 2008: Hello my darling,
Moving in together, isn't it a bitch? The first 6 months are the toughest, because you're really adjusting to cohabiting with another human being. And living with your man isn't at ALL like living with the family, right? It's tou... (read in full...)
We broke up as I moved away, should I tell him I still like him and how?
Q. I went out with this guy for about 3months and I had to break up with him cause I moved to another state but I still like him I keep in touch with him what should I do?and how should I tell him that I still like him...
A. 18 November 2008: By telling him that you miss him a lot, he'll probably get that you like him and miss him as your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Should I just forget this crush and focus on my boyfriend?
Q. Im with a guy at the moment, but have had a crush on another guy at work for about two years. My current boyfriend and I have been together on and off for a number of years, however recently had a 9 month break. During this break, i did som...
A. 18 November 2008: Hello my dear,
What does your heart say? I mean, it's not really clear if you feel like you are really head over heels crazy for your boyfriend. If you are starting to have that flame dwindle down with your man and you don't know if you really l... (read in full...)
I hate breasts!
Q. I hate breasts! I hate the fixation, the obsession, the sexualization! Why can't we be just like other mammals who only get large breasts when they're lactacting, and have flat breasts the rest of the time? UGH! Yes, I'm small chested, I have ...
A. 17 November 2008: Here's a random thought for you, but it came to me while reading your question. I used to work at a strip club - true fact - I didn't do a whole lot of dancing (I was mostly DJing), but in that line of work you get pretty familiar with breasts and ... (read in full...)
I have no one to talk to... what is masturbation?
Q. ok well this is probably 1 of the hardest questions for me to ask anyone. so this is why i am asking everyone here i dont want to ask my friends or my parents because its embarrassing. what is masturbation? what is jacking off? how do i masturbate? ...
A. 17 November 2008: I am penisless, but I'm still clear on how jacking off goes.
Close your eyes and imagine kissing someone you like, or a celebrity that you think is beautiful. Steal one of your Mom's Victoria's Secret magazines and use that as some inspirat... (read in full...)
Should I text him to say I miss him?
Q. Hi Aunts/Uncles I went out with this guy for a month in September, things were amazing, I really liked him and lost my virginity to him. It was my first proper relationship. We broke up just after we turned one month, he dumped me by text and stil...
A. 17 November 2008: Why waste the energy on this jerk who used you for sex? I'm so sorry, sweetness, but this guy didn't really care about you if he was sleazing around behind your back. I'm not saying that you're not completely worthy of his love, he just wasn't ... (read in full...)
Is he ashamed to take me out in public or just simply scared that someone else might come along?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months now. We've always been very close and honest with each other. But recently it seems like he's ashamed to take me out anywhere, or even show me affection in front of family. I've told him that a ...
A. 17 November 2008: Some people love PDA, some people not so much. He may just be a fella who likes to keep his intimacy private and there's nothing wrong with that. I personally don't kiss in front of my parents and I've been with my gentleman for 3 years! It's just ... (read in full...)
Is there a right way to have sex and what mood should we do it in?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 2 years and I really love him and we know we're both ready to move onto the next step of our relationship, we both know about protection and all that but is there a right way to have sex? or is it bad to plan out ...
A. 17 November 2008: I would TOTALLY wait. I think when people "plan" to lose their virginity, that seems like it makes it that much more awkward and weird. Like, you don't plan when your first kiss is with a fella, "well, it's 3:45 and according to the schedule we ... (read in full...)
A question about WATER!
Q. Quick question My mum told me it's bad to drink different types of water in the same day - i.e Evian and Caladonian. I was just wondering if this is true and if so what are the side effects??...
A. 17 November 2008: Water is water is water.... (read in full...)
What's happening to this world?!
Q. What's happening to this world? Every time I'm here everyone is talking about sex, even 10-11 year olds, what happened to childhood? I didn't even know what sex meant when I was 10, there must be something to do, I can't take seeing some girls ...
A. 17 November 2008: You're not alone... it is really sad to see some of the questions, the lack of education and the bizarre socialization of sex into our elementary and middle school systems. It's upsetting and disappointing, however we just have to accept that it's ... (read in full...)
Is sperm good for the complexion?
Q. Is a guy's sperm really good for the skin or is that just a myth? See my bf doesn't like to cum in a condom. He pulls it off when he's ready to finish and puts his sperm on my chest or belly. I usually just wipe it off but he says I should rub it in ...
A. 17 November 2008: I've heard that rumor too, but have never, ever, ever read ANYWHERE any evidence that backs that up. You would think that Cosmopolitan would be all over that. I'm sure that it's a myth and that really, your boyfriend just wants to watch you rub his ... (read in full...)
What to do about my mascara? My eyelashes seem clogged up.
Q. hello ok this is a make-up question for the girls. i apply mascara everyday and stuff, but recently my eyelashes are clogged up and my think comb mascara brush wont go through them! please help! what should i do? X...
A. 16 November 2008: Wash off your makeup all the way at night. So important, keeping your skin clean. Also, take breaks from mascara... not going out that day? Skip it and give your lashes time to breathe.
Also, you may need a new tube of mascara. Your mascara ... (read in full...)
Best aftershaves and perfumes???
Q. Hello, quick question. Girls, which (if any) (fairly cheap) colognes do you like the best? Guys, what do you think is best? I know it's not going to suddenly make all the girls in my school attracted to me, but I like to smell good. It creates a ...
A. 16 November 2008: Mmm, Armanimania is great. Victoria's Secret "Very Sexy for Him"... also, if you want to go super cheap, TAG or AXE that they sell at any grocery store - they smell nice, but not quite as nice as real department store cologne.
The lighter the bett... (read in full...)
I don't know what I can get her for her birthday - since she lives thousands of miles away!
Q. Just a quick question - slightly irrelevant to the norm on this site - but I have an internet penpal with someone from America, and I have no idea what to get her for her birthday. Shes 14; I don't really know what I can do for her birthday or ...
A. 16 November 2008: Go online and have a big bouquet of flowers delivered to her. I always dreamed of someone sending me flowers... come to think of it, I still do.... (read in full...)
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