A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am looking for some advice/help. I am in my late 20s and have never had a boyfriend/relationship (sad I know) ever because I had strict parents and then when I was older I was never really interested. However, I find myself for the first time ever being attracted to a guy that I work with, we chat a lot and he has asked me if I would like to go to his flat on Friday (to stay the night) to watch some TV and maybe get a takeaway and he will drop me off at home on Saturday morning/afternoon, which is all great, the problem is I have never done anything like this ever and I'm a little nervous (he is very confident etc.) and I am generally shy anyway and I am not very comfortable around guys. So my main question is: How can you feel more relaxed and I don't want him to know that I have never dated etc. so if that question comes up what do I say? Thanks
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I work with, never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xMissrealstarx +, writes (4 September 2008):
yes it sounds better for him not to know you have never dated before but truthfully it just makes it harder for your self because he might have the wrong idea from the start and move to quickly making it a very horrible and daunting on you, where as if you tell him the truth it helps and gives you a sense of relief because its a weight of your shoulder and this might help him to make things more comfortable for you and he would understand a little more and help you become more relaxedBut if you really dont want to tell him you could see how the day goes and see what happens you cant really know unless you cross the bridge but if hes flirting with you...flirt back...and ure never know it might just come natrually and if things are really good between you....you would forget everything.I hope it helps :=]
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 Yes, I think you ought to try traditional dating for awhile. You don't know each other very well and are at the beginning of this relationship... I don't think that spending the night is the best idea. It's moving awfully fast.
Dinner & a movie, maybe dancing or a walk in the park... a few dates before spending the night will make the situation a lot more comfortable and you can decide whether or not this is a fella that you want to be intimate with.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
male
reader, Velion +, writes (3 September 2008):
Aside from the complication you can get from dating a co'worker which can sometimes depend on the job.From the sounds of it you never really dated him that long or if really ever and the fact he asks you to "stay the night" at his place really worries me. Do you really know him that well or for a long time? If not then I would pass on it tell you got to know him better. Its very inappropriate for a guy to ask a woman to his place to "stay the night" so early in a relationship and usually can insinuate less then clean intentions. So please be careful.
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A
male
reader, Straight Up1  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 Honesty.... tell him exactly what you told us.I am sure that he will understand and slow the pace down a little bit.. that is if he is a guy that is really interested in you.Hopefully he will suggest a different venue for this "first date" other than his house.Perhaps a movie and a bite to eat...or a fun activity would help you to be more comfortable before you go to his house for an overnight date!! Thats a little much for any first date!!
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A
female
reader, Jinsara +, writes (3 September 2008):
Just talk to this guy and tell him what you just posted.If he is a decent bloke then he will understand and not take advantage of you.If you feel uncomfortable at all then tell him, like i said if he has respect for you then he will take things at your pace.Good luck Love J x
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