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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Hairy chest--what do you do with it?
Q. For guys and girls... This is the first time I have dated a guy who has a really hairy chest. When getting intimate with him, besides just running my fingers through it, what else can I do? Girls, what kinds of things do you do? and Guys, what ...
A. 10 January 2009: My boyfriend has a nice fireman's chest o' hair and while I can't think of anything kinky or sexy that I do to it, he goes crazy when I run my hands through it. He just loves his chest touched, especially when he's going to sleep.
Mmm, manly me... (read in full...)
Does my man have a crazy opinion or is it true?
Q. Hi all I have a question that I'm very Intrigued about. I've been dating my man for over a year now and recently we had a discussion about cheating. In his opinion most people will cheat in any relationship especially men. He accepted that no...
A. 9 January 2009: Actually, I just read in my Science Weekly that there is in fact a gene that makes a man more prone to cheat. I can't remember if it's just men or women too. Heres a different article: ... (read in full...)
Why would he lie about her staying the night?
Q. okay, so I've never resulted to asking a website anything but I'm a little desperate. Me and this guy have been dating since January 17, 2007 and I broke up with him for about 3 weeks and he continuously called and drove by my house, he begged me to ...
A. 9 January 2009: Honey, why in the world would you waste your time on such a liar?? It seems to me that people only lie to cover up when they've done wrong... and clearly he has. Whatever he did do that night, he feels guilty about, he knows you'd be upset if you ... (read in full...)
I'm so emotionally confused and need advice please!
Q. Hi I could really use some advice please. I have this ex (my first kiss) who I was good friends with last year. We ended up hooking up one night, he wanted to have sex but I said no. After that it got awkward and we stopped hanging out. I ran into ...
A. 9 January 2009: I don't know, while I'm all for having some fun, I'm not for getting back involved with exes. Not unless you guys have a really happy, platonic relationship that won't get at all affected by sex. If you have that with him, you know it'll just be a ... (read in full...)
What does being referred to as 'MAMMA' mean??
Q. What does this old 'hippie' maybe term "MAMMA" mean? I've heard it use is two ways but am unsure of its significance, this lady and guy refer to themselves or wife as mamma, and recently this married guy who always calls me gorgeous or whatever, ...
A. 9 January 2009: Hey Mama,
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mamacita
It's a compliment, mamacita! Unless the guy is calling you Mama then handing you a bag of dirty laundry and asking you to make him a chicken sandwich, it means that he thinks y... (read in full...)
My wife wants a sex change
Q. Yesterday my wife told me she wants a sex change. I was completely shocked by the revelation. I asked her to repeat what she had just said, and she said that she'd suppressed it ever since she was a girl. She said she'd known she wanted to be a b...
A. 9 January 2009: A sex change is a huge process and I find it a little hard to believe that your wife just all the sudden wants to become a man. I've known plenty of transexuals in my time, all wonderful people who lead normal, happier lives thanks to their change. ... (read in full...)
Everything is great except for this one little detail....
Q. Hi! I need some help with my situation. I was sexually abused by a family member growing up and now am very distrustful of men in general and sensitive to their motives. This has caused me to wreck just about every relationship I've ever been in. I ...
A. 9 January 2009: Hey sweetness,
I really don't see this as a red flag at all. In fact there was recently someone asking a question about the fact that she found it super disrespectful that her fella would cum inside of her because she hated the "drip out".
... (read in full...)
Will it ruin the relationship if we pleasure ourselves too much?
Q. well me n my boyfriend are still virgins but we pleasure ourself which i dink is best instead of having sex an well since he started fingering me now it has become an addiction. Is that normal that we want to mostly do that everyday an is kinda ...
A. 9 January 2009: Hey sweets,
No, it won't ruin the relationship. You guys are young and excited about taking a new step in your relationship and sexuality. It's okay to be super excited about it be practically "addicted". The only way it will ruin your relation... (read in full...)
A first is all.
Q. Is 32 years old too old for a first boyfriend and first kiss?...
A. 9 January 2009: Heck no!! You could be as old as Methuselah, and it STILL wouldn't be too old! I think it's that much more romantic and meaningful that you've waited. Have fun!! ... (read in full...)
His friends come first!
Q. my boyfriend an i have been dating for eleven months at seven months we moved in together we argued alot i found out he was using drugs we decided to move out and then i told his parents. his friends all hate me for what i did.he is now an out ...
A. 9 January 2009: You know what? I think you've done your job with this fella, now it's time to quit focusing on picking up the pieces of his broken life and focusing on yours. You did well, you helped him out a lot, but what has he done for you? It seems like you're ... (read in full...)
Continue? Or move on?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now , but I am not sure if we should stay together. When I first met him he did not tell me that he and his ex wife were still involved , so of course I fell in love with him. Well eventually I met her but ...
A. 9 January 2009: Please, please cut your losses and ditch this loser!! I don't think I could say it any better than girly69 (you go girl). This guy is obviously a creep. Why do you love someone who is so unworthy of it??? You are devoted to someone who treats you ... (read in full...)
Names for the baby?? Need help!
Q. alright, i know i ask WAY to many questions, but im like sooo scared right now. i am 7 months pregnant and it is a boy. i was trying to think of names and i can only think of one but its kind of girlie. anyone have any boy names they wanna ...
A. 9 January 2009: You're so not stupid at all!!! Please, please, please come back with any questions that you have. Even if you were 38 and having a kid, you'd still have a lot of questions. Pregnancy and child raising is a mystery to us all until we get there and ... (read in full...)
Why are men so bothered about the size of their penis????
Q. I know men will never get over this, but why on earth are they so obsessed with penis size? Personally I think a large penis is not that enjoyable, as it just hurts. What is wrong with a nice 5 or 6 inch average penis? Why do they always have...
A. 8 January 2009: It's all guys have to be self conscious about, is my theory. Woman, we're self conscious about EVERYTHING. My butt, my thighs, my back fat, my cuticles, my scalp texture, EVERYTHING. Guys don't have to worry about that beer gut or shrimpy legs, at ... (read in full...)
Would a girl be able to fall in love with a guy like that?
Q. I've a simple question to all, do you think a gorgeous gal can love someone with following features? Someone: 1. who is shy, 2. who is introvert 3. who can easily become friends with gals but nothing more than that. 4. who is not that cool. 5. ...
A. 8 January 2009: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES and YES.
Or let me put it another way: I am a gorgeous gal, at least that's what my Mother tells me. Would I date you? A loud, emphatic YES. You sound like a great catch - a funny, shy guy who has ambition... (read in full...)
Another dreaded penis size question!!!
Q. I know that this question comes up all the time but I'm looking for specific answers. My penis peaks at about 5" length and 4" - 4.5" round and it's really preventing me from pursuing relationships. I'm only just starting to get ready for the dating ...
A. 8 January 2009: Um, you seem like the ideal size. Not "ouch" or "ick" long and not "is it in?" or *disappointed sigh* small. You really seem ideal. And, not to mention, bigger than a lot of guys I've seen in my time.
Please don't bog yourself down with all this... (read in full...)
I feel she wants to handcuff me during sex to get questions out of me! Should I do it?
Q. hello aunties, Two weeks ago when I was sleeping with my neighbor, her husband found out about us and beat me.. 2 days back I met him in the gym again, he pushed and began teasing me about how he tied me and hit me, everyone was looking at us. ...
A. 8 January 2009: Stop seeing this woman!!!!!!
Clearly she is nothing but trouble.... (read in full...)
He doesn't know why he can't love me like he does?
Q. Me and this guy have dated before and then he broke up with me. We have been going on and off for over a year. He says he loves me and cares about me but he just can't have a relationship. He has hurt me several times and for some gosh darn reason I ...
A. 8 January 2009: The only way he is going to change for you is if you leave him. Let him know that you're not going to stick around for his BS and that until he really changes, you're not coming back. If that doesn't kick his butt into gear then he's not worth any ... (read in full...)
Is he just being polite and giving me my space?
Q. Ok, so this new guy I'm starting to talk to is sooo different from all the rest of them. We've talked a few times on the phone, ummm I would say about 3-4 times at the most for a month now. We're planning a first date next weekend. Not this weekend ...
A. 8 January 2009: Hi there,
It sounds like he's just not a phone guy. I know a lot of fellas like this (including my boyfriend), who are complete slackers on the phone. I prefer it that way, it means that they must really like you if they shoot you phone call now... (read in full...)
Confidence when giving a bj?
Q. How can I feel more confident when giving my boyfriend a blow job? I've been doing it for a while now and I don't really have a major problem with it or anything. The only real problem I have is that I don't like doing it when it's quiet becau...
A. 8 January 2009: You know, I used to be really aware of the noises my mouth would make until my boyfriend told me that he LOVES hearing those noises. The sounds just add to the amazing experience. There's no need to be weighing yourself down being self-conscious ... (read in full...)
Is being in a relationship a bigger distraction than being single?
Q. I just got out of a relationship 3 weeks ago. I was dating him for almost 10 months. I dated a loser who was a pathological liar.. and i fell in his trap. The only thing he did not lie about was his love for me. He fell in love with me, he took my ...
A. 8 January 2009: I think that yeah, you need a break from being in a serious relationship. Who says that you need to ditch this guy, though? I say, make it clear to him that you just got out of a stressful relationship and that you're taking a break from anything ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is acting, untouchy!!
Q. My girlfriend is acting, untouchy? So today my girlfriend was acting rather odd, on the phone last night before she went to work she told me she hearted me, (She nevers says that first) then at the end of our phone convo last night she told me not t...
A. 8 January 2009: Sounds like she's withdrawing from you. I know I used to avoid my boyfriends like the plague when I just wasn't feeling it. I made a lot of excuses not to be affectionate with them while in my mind I was starting to disconnect from them.
Now I... (read in full...)
I know she's lying, how do I handle it?
Q. My girlfriend is insisting she does not talk to this certain ex-boyfriend of hers. She said they haven't talked in a LONG time. She said this earlier today. Now, I know that is a total lie, that they had an AIM conversation two days ago and tal...
A. 8 January 2009: As Emily says and I'll reiterate, you have gotten yourself into this nasty cycle. She lies because she knows if she tells you the truth, it'll be a whole lot messier than if you don't know anything. In this case, what you didn't know wouldn't of ... (read in full...)
I'm lying to her to save her feelings...
Q. Me and my boyfriend went to my friend's house for a drink with her and her boyfriend. We all got drunk and my boyfriend went and got in a bed upstairs and went to sleep, and my friend also went to sleep, I was left up with her boyfriend who I had ...
A. 8 January 2009: Well it sounds like you and your friends have enough material for a little intervention. You fear that she might not believe you, or that she will until her boyfriend convinces her otherwise and wriggles his way out of the situation. But, with so ... (read in full...)
Girls Girls Girls please help
Q. Question to girls, do you find guys that wear tight pants attractive??? I'm not talking about the super emo tight pants but something that hugs the body at least??? And why do you find it attractive???...
A. 8 January 2009: Oh I'm so glad you asked this question JUST so that I get the opportunity to say - PLEASE GOD, STOP WITH THE SKINNY PANTS!! Men!!! We've been through a lot of horrible looking fads together - you men had the pants around your knees with your saggy ... (read in full...)
Going skiing and don't want a tan! Please advise other skiiers!
Q. A question for skiiers: I am going skiing for the first time and have just booked everything. However I just read somewhere that you get tanned when skiing?! I do NOT want to get a tan and generally avoid the sun like the plague!! I am firstly alr...
A. 8 January 2009: Here are my thoughts... since you're going skiing and not out on the beaches, at least you have a great excuse to cover every inch of skin! Make use of winter layering and get yourself covered in coats, gloves, hats, scarves as well as dousing ... (read in full...)
That damned G Spot!
Q. So here I am, wondering about the same subject as always.... That damn male g spot. I am 25 years old, and I still haven't been able to find that magic spot. I've tried to relax my bf, he has a really good time when I touch him from behind, but he ...
A. 8 January 2009: Disclaimer: weak stomach, especially around butt talk, well... this might be a little graphic.
I remember you and your question from like, a month ago... still haven't found it? Wow. Use that whole finger if you've gotta, sister.
Have you trie... (read in full...)
I just want one occasion were he will see me for the first time the night and think.. ok she looks sooo much better than usual.
Q. I need a little help.. I've been with my boyfriend 16 months now.. and I know he loves me and he thinks I'm beautiful and is very happy with the way I look so that's not what this is about. We're going out for a meal this weekend, I've gone out...
A. 8 January 2009: Definitely to it all!!! The lashes (def), the heels (def DEF)...
Here are some extra, subtle, but DEFINITELY important things if you're really trying to achieve maximum foxitude...:
*rub yourself down with a body scrub in the shower before yo... (read in full...)
Embarrassing noises after sex!
Q. ok.. this is a little embarrassing, but it's to do with when i have sex. Sex in every position is really good and fine.. what i am asking about is when i have sex doggy style.. i enjoy this style the most and so its my favorite to do. the thing...
A. 7 January 2009: Look at this Dear Cupid question. Asked in 2005 and STILL getting answers today (most recent: Jan 2nd 2009)You can read endless tales of ladies and their queefs, fanny farts, whatever you want to call it.
http:... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight even if I don't exercise?
Q. Hi there, Im just wondering can you lose weight if i dont exercise? im a little bit overweight so i decided to go on a diet, im just eating really healthy and not eating any junkfood. But im not doin any sort of exercise programme. I'm n...
A. 7 January 2009: It's certainly possible to lose weight if you shift your diet. If you stick with it, you will see results!! However, you won't lose weight nearly as fast or evenly. You might lose weight, but your body might not end up as toned as you may like. Just ... (read in full...)
How far can a stripper go during a lap dance?
Q. Hello all! Something has been bothering me about my boyfriend's past that isn't really important in the big scheme of things, but despite knowing this it still bothers me. Here's the deal: My boyfriend went to a (fully nude) strip club right be...
A. 7 January 2009: In Oregon, where I used to work at a strip club, strippers have to stay at the bare minimum, 6 inches away. You can't touch or else you'll be fired in a hot second (at least, if you're caught and strippers can be tricky). Places of more questionable ... (read in full...)
Are tatoos on the small of the back considered slutty?
Q. Heya - I'm booked in to get a tattoo on the small of my back in about a fortnights time. I'm getting a little yellow aztec sun with a moon inside it - to always remind me to look on the bright side of life :) I'm really pleased with what I'm ...
A. 7 January 2009: A few of my friends have lower back tattoos. Of course it doesn't make you a slut, but that is that stupid little phrase attached to them "tramp stamps". And yes, I do tease the hell out of my friends with that verbal ammunition, but it's not true ... (read in full...)
Married but in love with someone else
Q. Last year I ran into an old friend at the company I worked for. He and I were attracted to one another, years ago, but we never dated seriously, we were just really good friends. At the time, I had a boyfriend, but he wasn't in a relationship. My ...
A. 6 January 2009: I think you may be bored of your current life. You don't even mention your husband or how your relationship is with him in your question! If it is a decent relationship (if being boring is it's only fault), then get your head out of the clouds and ... (read in full...)
I had a one night stand with my friend's brother.
Q. I had a one night stand with my friend's brother recently. It was over the Christmas period. I don't know him very well, but he comes to the pub with his brother each Christmas and over the course of a few years I have always chatted with him...
A. 6 January 2009: I think if he's writing to you a lot and trying to chat you up, that suggests to me that he liked you and wants to see you again. Otherwise he wouldn't be seeking you out! There are lots of ways to ask if you can see him again - "I'm going to be in ... (read in full...)
My grades are slipping and now I'm afraid he won't ask me for help
Q. hi!there's this cute boy in my class..actually first i don't used to like him coz all girls only used to talk about him which used to irritate me alot.but slowly slowly i don't know how i began feeling something for him and we became friends.he ...
A. 6 January 2009: Hello sweetness,
Firstly, you need to start studying right now for your test!! If you are striving for good grades, do it for YOURSELF not for some guy! You should be doing well in school so that you can be proud of yourself, not so someone ... (read in full...)
How long does it usually take a guy to say I love you?
Q. so my bf and i have been together for over a month and he is a little less than 3 years older than me. he is a juinor in highschool and i am a freshman. he has never said i love you, and we talk on the phone alot, and i get to see him about once ...
A. 6 January 2009: Me and my fella said "I love you's" after about 3 months. Every couple is different and goes at their own pace. Whether or not he's using you, well... for what, exactly? I think he's not the best boyfriend in the universe if he's so cold with ... (read in full...)
Was he trying to tell me something with his hand holding?
Q. A friend of mine, recently held my hand and started softly playing with it. Was he trying to tell me something with the way he was holding my hand or am I thinking too much about it?...
A. 6 January 2009: I think that holding/playing with your hand is an intimate thing to do with someone you're just friends with. But, like Gina says, it really depends what sort of friendship you have with this person. ... (read in full...)
I have frenulum problems, please help!
Q. Okay so I'm a virgin and my penis has a frenulum, which is a thin skin under the penis head, and it doesn't allow the foreskin (I am uncircumcised) to retract. When I am not erect I can pull my foreskin back a lot, but when I am erect I can't pull ...
A. 6 January 2009: If you don't want to go to a doctor, you can just experiment with stretching your body, which could just make your situation that much worse. Do you want to do permanent damage to your body? Even if someone gives you a reply with a suggestion, it ... (read in full...)
Meant to be alone forever...
Q. Are some people meant to be alone and unloved like me? I really do feel the old maid vibe. I have never had boyfriend not even for a week and I never been kissed either. Girls my age are married. Guys can get married to girls even if he knows ...
A. 6 January 2009: You know what? If you are posting this question a million times, you must be really, really, really lonely. This repetitive posting is just another symptom of your "perpetually unloved" syndrome. Maybe this is the most exciting thing happening in ... (read in full...)
How much is the foreskin supposed to cover up?
Q. How much is the foreskin supposed to cover the head of the penis when erect? Mine only covers half of it, is this normal?...
A. 6 January 2009: Now, I'm not the best authority on foreskin (I have none, let alone a penis), but I have observed at least one (okay, only one) and it looked exactly as you described. So, with that limited information, I'm going to deem you NORMAL.... (read in full...)
Kissed a player at a party and now I can't get him off my mind!
Q. Hello, i've known this guy now for around 1 year. we only ever say hi because we just see eachother when some of our friends talk to eachother. he is a bit of a "player". we both got drunk two nights ago and ended up kissing but i stopped it. now ...
A. 6 January 2009: If he's a player, then he's not afraid to make a move. If he hasn't by now, forget about him. If you really like him, then DEFINITELY forget about him, because players are always more attracted to ladies they can't have. They're suckers for that ... (read in full...)
I don't want to say "I love you" yet, but he gets mad when I don't.
Q. I have a situation this boy that I talk to on the phone, he says that he loves me but i don't say it back to him n he gets mad when I don't say it. I don't think that we know eachother that long to say that to eachother. He says he don't mean it, he ...
A. 6 January 2009: Don't say it if you don't mean it. I can't believe that he wants to hear it even though he knows it's not sincere. Besides, who is he to boss you around? Just some friend? You're not even his girlfriend! Tell him if he wants to hear those three ... (read in full...)
Names for the baby?? Need help!
Q. alright, i know i ask WAY to many questions, but im like sooo scared right now. i am 7 months pregnant and it is a boy. i was trying to think of names and i can only think of one but its kind of girlie. anyone have any boy names they wanna ...
A. 28 December 2008: Oh my GOD, seriously. Things I get day by day:
"Did you parents want a boy?"
"Did your parents think you were a boy?"
"ARE you a boy?"
"Why don't you change your name?"
(that ones the worst, I mean come on. I don't say "Melvin, that's... (read in full...)
Names for the baby?? Need help!
Q. alright, i know i ask WAY to many questions, but im like sooo scared right now. i am 7 months pregnant and it is a boy. i was trying to think of names and i can only think of one but its kind of girlie. anyone have any boy names they wanna ...
A. 27 December 2008: I know a guy named Jade and I always thought his name was super cool. So I think you should go for it. "Jay" for short... Aiden as a first name is completely cute but I feel like everyone and their mother is naming their kid Aiden, Hayden, Jaiden, ... (read in full...)
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