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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend, any ideas?
Q. It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend... Any ideas??? Male and female answers welcome!!...
A. 29 January 2009: Oooh, hooray!! Have fun!... (read in full...)
How can I help my fiancee deal with her grief???
Q. HI, I was curious if anyone had any advice to help me both with helping my fiancee and with my own issues dealing with this. A few days ago my fiancee's brother took his own life. Since then my fiance has obviously been not feeling that gre...
A. 27 January 2009: Give her the space she needs to grieve in the way she feels best. If she leaves you out or you feel neglected, please do not take it personally. Don't bug her about it. She is dealing with this in her way. You sound like a wonderful person for her ... (read in full...)
Can you make love for 5 hours and NOT be in a loving relationship?
Q. Is it possible to make love constantly for 5 hours and not be in a relationship that is based on true love?? ...
A. 27 January 2009: Sure you can. Is that not the job requirements for most porn stars? I'm sure that Ron Jeremy could tell you all about 5 hour sex sessions that are based on nothing more than a contract!
Of course, when you're doing it for 5 hours, it'll be a lot... (read in full...)
I'm really concerned about the chance that I might have HIV or Hepatitis and could use a little guidance.
Q. Hello all, I'm really concerned about the chance that I might have HIV or Hepatitis and could use a little guidance. I realize that this isn't a replacement for medical advice, but I would like to know if anyone can share some advice with me. ...
A. 27 January 2009: You should go get tested and put yourself at ease!! You are comfortable getting blood drawn, so you should be perfectly comfortable getting a blood test done at any doctors or Planned Parenthood. If you think you may be infected (you already know ... (read in full...)
Should I give the bracelet back to him or should I keep it?
Q. My boyfriend gave me a $700 bracelet that has his name engraved in it. The only problem is that this bracelet was given to him by his ex. He says that he loves me and he wanted to let me know how serious he was about me. I thought it was sweet but ...
A. 27 January 2009: Hi sweet,
Myself, I would feel awkward about that. I don't think you'd be in the wrong or offend him if you gave it back and said, "I'm really flattered and love the gesture, but I'm just not comfortable with having the bracelet your ex gave you... (read in full...)
I tried a threesome and hated it!
Q. I have had a boyfriend for about 2 years and recently I found out he wants to watch me have sex with another man and he won't feel jealous or anything. We tried to do a threesome but I couldn't do it.. I couldn't stand another person touching my ...
A. 27 January 2009: Well, now you know you're not into that kind of thing. You could really see this incident as a blessing - at least you've gotten it over with and you can say from experience that you're not a threesome kind of guy!
I wouldn't go down that roa... (read in full...)
How can I hint at her to give me a blow job?
Q. Hey, I recently started fingering my girlfriend and was just wondering what I could say to get her to start giving me bj's. Weve talked about it lightly and she said she would rather give bj's than handjobs. I kinda think it's fair that she sh...
A. 27 January 2009: "if she loved me like I love her then she'd want to return the favour"
I hope you don't say that to HER. I think your thinking is a little off about what sex means in a relationship. Being physical isn't a competition, it's not evidence of love.... (read in full...)
Cheating and found out!!!!
Q. I had been having an affair for about 2 years with a former co-worker (I recently got a new job). He's married with kids, I live with someone. We spoke everyday, multiple times a day, on our way to and from work, sent each other goodnight emails ...
A. 27 January 2009: He can forget you and end the relationship that quickly because he was never in your relationship 100%. His heart first and foremost should - probably did - belong with his wife and family... you were getting the short end of the stick, my friend! ... (read in full...)
Why is it that some guys are jerks to girls?
Q. Why is it that some guys are jerks to girls? I'm in a relationship with this guy and sometimes I'm like 'What a jerk' Either that or has no manners. Ok, I hate, hate, hate it when guys walk in front of me and leave me behind. He does this sometimes. ...
A. 27 January 2009: If he knows he's doing it, then you can call him out with little no no guilt about making him feel bad. Say, "if you act like a jerk because you think I'll like you more, I want to let you know that it's not making me like you any more. It's just ... (read in full...)
It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend, any ideas?
Q. It's coming up to our 5 year anniversary and I want to do something nice for my boyfriend... Any ideas??? Male and female answers welcome!!...
A. 27 January 2009: I agree with EmilyAnswers (as usual)! 5 years together constitutes a weekend away where you behave like you did when you first started dating. Shag every few hours and spend the time giggling, reminiscing and loving each other like crazy.
It do... (read in full...)
Can you have a healthy relationship without sex?
Q. this is an awkward thing to be asking strangers, but i don't really know what to do. My Boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years, and man has it been a ride. But we don't have sex. We don't have sex because he doesn't like vagina's, but he ...
A. 27 January 2009: I think you CAN have a healthy relationship without sex, but only when both people in the relationship aren't interested in having sex! You, my dear, are in for a paaaaaaiiiinnnfully long future with this fella. I am guessing that eventually you ... (read in full...)
Why do guys expect but don't return the favor?
Q. why do some guys expect blow jobs, but they won't ever go down on the girl? ...
A. 27 January 2009: Because some guys are jerks. But they're not all like that!! Really, they're not! Uncle Phil is proof of that!... (read in full...)
Is he playing me or trying to?
Q. My boyfriend of a few days now got off work early yesterday and wanted to hang out. But I had to work late. Plus, I had school work. We talked throughout the night. Then, I said let's hang out on Friday...due to my busy work and school schedule....
A. 27 January 2009: I don't think he's necessarily playing you, unless you have other evidence besides a poker game with the guys. He should be allowed to go out and have fun with the guys on the weekend and you should absolutely go out with your girlfriends. Time ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him an offer he can't refuse?
Q. Hi - There's this guy at work that I'm attracted to and he is to me as well. Recently he's been sending non-verbal messages that he wants to have sex with me. I missed the opportunity last week and he seems upset that I didn't "get the message". ...
A. 27 January 2009: I say take a saucy approach. Like ACD suggests, go out on a hot date and wear your sexiest bra-panty-thigh highs-garter set. Flash him a little bit of that garter belt and he will know exactly what you want!! Or, if you're feeling ultra aggressive, ... (read in full...)
How can I hint at her to give me a blow job?
Q. Hey, I recently started fingering my girlfriend and was just wondering what I could say to get her to start giving me bj's. Weve talked about it lightly and she said she would rather give bj's than handjobs. I kinda think it's fair that she sh...
A. 27 January 2009: You're using your hands to pleasure her, so wouldn't it be "fair" for her to use her hands to pleasure you? I would say that fingering is a handjob!! So don't say that it's a "fair" exchange, because it's not.
Why don't you offer her some amazing ... (read in full...)
Do girls like being stared at?
Q. I stare at cute girls practically all the time... do they find it perverse/repulsive or does it make them feel good?...
A. 27 January 2009: As a lady, it's nice to get looked at, it's nice to make some eye contact, but it's not quite as nice when a guy is staring holes into you. Then I just get nervous, skeeved out... so I would keep your staring limited. Checking out a girl is totally ... (read in full...)
What should I get him for Valentine's Day?
Q. Hey... I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years and 7 months. What should I get him for valentines day?...
A. 26 January 2009: Last Valentine's Day I gave my fella 4 hot dates - I got a gift certificate for his favorite restaurant for us to go to, a gift certificate to the movies, the Chinese Garden (romantic for me) and a gift certificate to a spa so he could get a much ... (read in full...)
Is a woman's age a society issue??
Q. Is a female turning 30+ a bad thing in society? Are women over 30 a bad thing? Do guys prefer girls in there 20s because I know a few guys who ask out girls in there 20s. Where does that leave me?...
A. 26 January 2009: I've been reading all over the place that 30 is the new 20. Commonly referred to as the "Dirty Thirties", 30 is the ultimate age to be. By then you're out of this post-college limbo, trying to adjust yourself from being a young adult to an adult. ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to my friend?
Q. Should I lose my virginity to my friend? I'm 19 and I feel it's about time, but I've never been in a relationship loving enough to want to. I kind of want to get it over and done with so its not a big deal any more. And I feel really comfortable ...
A. 26 January 2009: I'm not from the UK, but I've always been under the impression that you "fancying" him means that you like him? Have a crush on him? Romantically?
If this is the case, I encourage you NOT to sleep with him. Things get super messy if there are one-... (read in full...)
Protected sex but fear of pregnancy.
Q. So my girlfriend and I had sex about a week ago and again 3 nights ago. Both times I used a condom and 100% sure that I never came. But she's worried that she might be pregnant because she just went ill, she has sore breasts, and her period is late. ...
A. 26 January 2009: I second EmilyAnswers answer. I would've written my own, but it pretty much would've been what she wrote, verbatim. So read it twice!... (read in full...)
Would you sacrific your own happiness for someone else?
Q. Would you sacrific your own happiness for someone else? say you know that your significant other loves you dearly and you somehow fallen out of love with them. They are aware of it and you both are working to rekindle that love.. but you know that ...
A. 26 January 2009: Sacrificing your own happiness is sometimes something you've gotta do for someone you love. Your family, and when you have them, your husband, your children. And you shouldn't just sacrifice your happiness for any reason, not unless it is absolutely ... (read in full...)
Wondering how to last longer
Q. So my girlfriend and I have had sex twice, but the first time she was in a lot of pain (she was a virgin) and I lost my erection about 20 minutes into it because I was moving slower for her and if I went to far into her she would tell me to stop. ...
A. 26 January 2009: Here's your answer: Listen, you've only had sex twice! I think that when both you and your girlfriend have found your "groove" together, you'll have a little more control over when you're finishing. It seems like both times you've been in the sack, ... (read in full...)
It's like he's got cold feet- only we're not getting married.
Q. I am having a huge problem. My boyfriend of 3 years has recently revealed he has started to have doubts. In the last two weeks. He confessed he has only slept with two other people and he thinks that he is "missing out" and that he is "too young". ...
A. 25 January 2009: Hi there,
If he feels like he's not in a place to be in a relationship with you for whatever reason, it's valid. It sounds like he wants to do the single thing and all though he really cares about you, breaking up is hard to do.
If you don't ... (read in full...)
Do circumcised guys make better lovers?
Q. This question is strictly for the ladies, but guys can input on the matter if you'd like. My question to the ladies is... would you like a guy to have foreskin, in other words to be uncircumsized... cuz lately Iv'e been really insecure about that ...
A. 24 January 2009: To be honest. once it's inside of you, there is really no difference in how it feels. Even when it's out and about, it's just a penis. So to a lady, a penis is a penis!! The only thing to make sure you're doing regularly is a thorough cleaning of ... (read in full...)
Could we simply remain friends after having sex?
Q. I recently started a friends with benefits relationship. We both argreed it would be physical only and that we would remain friends after. We both care about each other but do not love one another.I was wondering if people can actually remain just ...
A. 23 January 2009: It is POSSIBLE to be completely platonic sex partners, I don't want to say it's never happened successfully. But I will say, that most of the time it ends up messy. Feelings, emotions, they are really hard to control. They just HAPPEN.
Someo... (read in full...)
Do I stay with the one I love or go solo to experience life?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 and a half years, yet we are drifting apart, we love each other so much, he treats me like a princess, does everything for me and I know he will never cheat on me and I completely trust him. However I am the sole ...
A. 23 January 2009: I disagree with poster #1. I think that your fella sounds like he's not very motivated at this point in his life and you guys have different life goals now. I think that you've never been by yourself and that maybe it's time for that change. Being ... (read in full...)
He insists he isn't playing mind games but I think he is!
Q. I think my friends playing mind games although he says he isnt and ''respects me'' he flirts one minute, (when we are drunk he tries to kiss me nearly every time we go out. we came close to having sex one night but we stopped)..then the next wee...
A. 23 January 2009: Hey sweetness,
This guy is so not worth your friendship let alone your kisses!! Definitely cut off the kisses, because he is taking advantage of them. You do not want to turn into a booty call who he strings around! He has proved himself as a cre... (read in full...)
What does she mean --would I fight for her?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together over a year. She always asked me if we ever broke things off whether I would fight for her. What does a woman mean by that? Her and I are both Christians. I had promised her thoughout the relationship that ...
A. 22 January 2009: Ahhh, women. I know how she feels though, I've definitely had the same feeling myself. She wants to know that you want her so badly that if you break up, you'll really make the effort to get her back, to step up and be a man. She wants to know that ... (read in full...)
Pretty girls.
Q. When a pretty girl wakes up next to you in the morning and her face doesn't look so pretty and her hair's a mess, does it bother you boys? or if she's always doing her make-up does it make her seem insecure? curiosity...
A. 22 January 2009: I know that my boyfriend likes when I get all done up, but he looks at me like I'm the most gorgeous creature in the universe first thing in the morning when I look like Sasquatch and have the mood to match. Why does he love me most then? I'm not ... (read in full...)
How can we reignite the spark in our relationship?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 2 months now, and now it just seems kinda boring and we dont really have that spark that we use to have. and i dont want to loose her cause i really like her alot. But maybe u can help me recreate that ...
A. 22 January 2009: Hey sweetness,
Like the first poster said, two months isn't very long to be already getting a little bored in your relationship. It's not abnormal, it just suggests that maybe you guys aren't that compatible or just have different interest... (read in full...)
Would asking him to get STI testing offend him? Will just a condom be enough?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for about a month now (we haven't had sex but I feel that we care about each other and trust each other enough to perhaps eventually make that step). I'm a virgin and he's had two sexual partners before, so I am ...
A. 22 January 2009: Hey sweetness,
Nobody should be offended by that question, nobody except for a handful of scumbags out there. You're looking out for your health and his... he should be happy to do anything for your personal comfort. With my fella, he had been wit... (read in full...)
Creative thoughts on where to hold the wedding??
Q. Hi Creative Cupiders, My fella and I are planning on getting married sometime in the next year (hooray!)... here's the issue: we met when I made an impromptu move to the West coast (without the intention of staying, but love happens where/wh...
A. 22 January 2009: Thank you guys for your suggestions... the only problem with having a wedding some place in the middle of the US (Nebraska? Kansas?... oh my...), would be then EVERYONE would have to buy plane tickets! I wouldn't feel right about that! The fiancé ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend today called me a cling on.
Q. Hi all, my ex boyfriend today called me a cling on, yes I still do like him but I'm no way like that, Anyway I rang him 2 confront him and I said comon then what do you really think of me, he said that I was annoying sometimes but I know that any...
A. 22 January 2009: I'm so sorry, but I ready this question and was like, "her boyfriend called her a Klingon?" - that may completely dorkify me, but Google Image a "Klingon" and you will laugh as hard as I did.
Okay, on to answering the question: Being called c... (read in full...)
I want to leave him but I'm afraid he won't come after me
Q. SO I have been with my boyfriend for six years. When we first started dating he was amazing. He still is an amazing person works hard, and I know he loves me. Everyone who meets him loves him and thinks he's a great guy. The thing is things are ...
A. 22 January 2009: If you leave him, don't do it for HIM, do it for YOU! Let's face it, girl, he sounds like a really lame boyfriend. He's not treating you right! You guys are fighting all of the time, he's basically checked out of your relationship... why would you ... (read in full...)
Would a man get offended if a woman told him his penis was beautiful?
Q. Lol just wondering, would a man be offended if a woman told him that his penis was beautiful? Or would he be flattered??...
A. 21 January 2009: If he's offended, he is silly beyond silly!! Of course he would be flattered, it's a huge compliment that most fellas never get the honor of hearing.
Don't hold back, let him know!... (read in full...)
Will I hurt her?
Q. This is yet another penis size question folks! Well, I have been dating a girl of over a year now and we have not had sex yet because she isn't ready, but, I am scared I may hurt her since she is a virgin and I am also. My erect penis length is 6 ...
A. 21 January 2009: Your penis is a completely normal size and over the years, millions of virgins have not been killed by first time sex with similarly sized penises.
Sex the first time will be uncomfortable, and yes, it might hurt. But, it's just what's got to h... (read in full...)
High sex drive !!!!!
Q. Hi, Well I am 14 and let's just say my sex drive is very high but is that wrong because I'm a girl? When a boy has a high sex drive it doesn't matter but when a girl does it's vile and disgusting, am I the only girl who has a high sex drive? Is ...
A. 21 January 2009: There's nothing wrong with you, sweetness!! Everyone's sex drive is at a different point on the scale, and there's nothing weird about being higher up!
The only problem that I can see here is that you're pretty young. Masturbation is all well and... (read in full...)
What can I do? We both want to have sex but I can't ejaculate yet.
Q. Hi, I have got a girlfriend that I have known for 3 months now. We both want to have sex but I can't ejaculate yet. Is there anything I can do to change this? I have heard about eating different foods but I don't think that would help. Help Please?...
A. 21 January 2009: Let me understand this question right... have you never been able to have an orgasm before? Have you not been able to ejaculate with HER before? Without a better understanding and assuming that you've never cum before, I'm thinking that by your age ... (read in full...)
Lesbian - with homophobic parents and friends
Q. It has been over the last year or so that I have really began to think about my sexuality, as well as various other thnigs as well (including religion etc.) as I am at the age when that thinking is to be done. A year back from now, I believed I was ...
A. 20 January 2009: Hello, my dear.
I kind of agree with EmilyAnswers. Now, I'm as accepting as they come, I come from a family chock full of extremely liberal ministers and have gotten to know and love many LBGT folks over the years. I'd like you to know that you... (read in full...)
I want another baby and my partner is dead set against it!
Q. I have known my boyfriend for 13 years. During this time he has had 3 children by 3 different women and I have been married twice with one child, so we have both had our problems. Now we have got together and plan to get married. My issue is that I ...
A. 20 January 2009: Might be a deal-breaker, sweetness. If you are dying for another child and he is dead set against it, you will only grow to resent him for not giving you one. If he gives in, you'll be with a guy who's not excited about being a Dad and might not ... (read in full...)
Become a doctor? Or a pharmacist?
Q. Dear madam, i'm writing to ask for your help because i'm in a dilemma. i'm an algerian teenager of 16;i'm a pupil in second high scool year, i'll take my baccalauriat exam as i said ,i find my self in a dilemma and i have ...
A. 20 January 2009: Hello sweetness,
I think you should go all the way. You should follow the path your heart tells you. If you have the motivation and ambition to go through the schooling needed to become a doctor, I absolutely think you should. Being a doctor i... (read in full...)
Hairy chest--what do you do with it?
Q. For guys and girls... This is the first time I have dated a guy who has a really hairy chest. When getting intimate with him, besides just running my fingers through it, what else can I do? Girls, what kinds of things do you do? and Guys, what ...
A. 10 January 2009: My boyfriend has a nice fireman's chest o' hair and while I can't think of anything kinky or sexy that I do to it, he goes crazy when I run my hands through it. He just loves his chest touched, especially when he's going to sleep.
Mmm, manly me... (read in full...)
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