A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I could really use some advice please. I have this ex (my first kiss) who I was good friends with last year. We ended up hooking up one night, he wanted to have sex but I said no. After that it got awkward and we stopped hanging out. I ran into him at a party a couple months ago and he wanted to hook up with me again but I had a boyfriend at the time and told him. I dont know why but he kept asking me about my bf, like maybe he was jealous? But he was a gentleman and walked me home. Meanwhile, my boyfriend broke up with me because he had commitment issues and as I found out, was a major player. I lost my virginity to him and he has hurt me so much that to this day, I still cry for him because he has hurt me so much even though its been over 3 months. I see him talking and laughing with all these girls and it just kills me. I ran into ex #1 and he invited me to a party at his house. He will probably want to hook up with me again but I dont know if I should. I mean I like him and part of me wants to have fun and go for it, at least to take my mind of my ex bf but then again I dont want to be called a hoe. What should I do? I just dont want to cry over my bf anymore and it seems like I will not get a relationship anytime soon so should I just have fun?
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female
reader, A Thick Fox +, writes (5 March 2009):
Gurl, I do not believe in crying over spill milk right. I know that it is hard but just by you see him mingling with other women, that should make you that much stronger and get over it. You should never beat yourself up because he could not make a commitment. WHERE THEY DO THAT AT? Anyways, gurl go fishing. In response to your last thought, negativity feeds on negativity, okay. If you have that mentality that you would not, can not, or what have you, you will not. Your own destiny lies within you sweetie. You do not suppose to let a man validate you. What he did not do or could not do should not define the way that you look at things in your life. You have to know your worth, and sweetie you are worth more then a lay. In regards to your other ex that just want to do it to you. That is all that he want, haven't you realized that. If I was you, I would not give him none of me. You could have fun but, it does not have to be with him. Nothing will come out of that but more heart ache and pain because you will probably won't more if it is good and that aint good. You do what you want, but obviously you are stuck and you asked for advice so, in a sister to sister words, get over it it aint worth it. It is somebody for everybody. Your time will come but, you need to build up your confidence level and boost your self-esteem. I promise you after that happens, everything will start falling into place. TRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (9 January 2009):
 I don't know, while I'm all for having some fun, I'm not for getting back involved with exes. Not unless you guys have a really happy, platonic relationship that won't get at all affected by sex. If you have that with him, you know it'll just be a one time thing and that you'll have no regrets or feelings after, what the hell. Have some fun.
Ex-Sex can be messy and if you're trying to get over a fella, I wouldn't bring drama into your life!! Find another fella to have fun with. But, if you think you'll feel like a hoe after sexing someone up, don't even bother. Hook up, but don't go all the way. You won't be slutty in the LEAST--seriously, not at all, but you might feel crummy/like a slut on the inside. That's no good!!
I'm sorry that you lost your virginity to that sorry SOB player of yours. Bleah, oh well. He lost out on a great catch. I would save your second time for someone worthy of it!!
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